Savannah Chrisley says she keeps texting ex-fiancé Nic Kerdiles after his sudden death

Still processing the sudden death of her former fiancé, Nicolas Kerdiles, Savannah Chrisley reflected on her gratitude for their relationship and his support in the painful aftermath of her father’s prison sentence.

Kerdiles, a former NHL player, died unexpectedly at 29-years-old in Nashville, Tennessee, following a motorcycle accident. Chrisley, 26, and the late hockey player were engaged from 2018 to 2020 before calling off their engagement.

On Sept. 25, Chrisley looked back on the “bright” and “hard” moments of their relationship with a post on Instagram that was tender and shared some of their memories. The post featured a vignette of photos and videos of Kerdiles and Chrisley as well as members of her family.

Chrisley, who hosts the podcast “Unlocked with Savannah Chrisley” and starred in “Chrisley Knows Best” with her family, began her post by expressing that she wished Kerdiles could see what was being shared about him since his death.

“Nicolas Henry Stephan Kerdiles… I wish you could see all the people that are showing up and loving you right now,” Chrisley began the post’s caption. “I can see that grin of yours so clearly. You left such a mark on this world, and it’s so empty without you.”

“It is impossible to believe that you are really gone. I am not sure how to even absorb that news, I don’t know how to react,” she continued. “I am so sad and so numb. I don’t want to believe it… I keep texting your phone and just hope you respond. I had just turned 20 when we met, you were only 23, we were just kids learning about life and love and trying to make it all work.”

Chrisley reflected on the nature of their relationship — which began in 2017 and ended in 2020 — noting that it endured various challenges, including that it was public-facing. Pictures of Kerdiles’ proposal to Chrisley was also featured in her post.

“We had some really great, bright moments, and we had some really hard ones, but the part of our relationship I will hold on to will always be the moments in the middle,” she continued. “It will be the day to day life we got to share for 5 incredible years.”

“I know we had some moments that were really, really hard, but our day to day life really was beautiful,” she added. “Just because some things don’t work out or don’t last forever, doesn’t make them less special or less meaningful. We learned how to love together. We learned how to be adults and entrepreneurs and professionals.”

In the comments section of the post, Chrisley credited Kerdiles for accompanying her as she dropped off her father at a Pensacola prison earlier this year to carry out his sentence for fraud charges.

“It was YOU who came along for the trip, it was YOU who was there for me and drove me through a very dark day,” she wrote. “Thank YOU for that.”

“Some things aren’t supposed to last forever; some things come into our life for a season, and our season was precious, it was special,” she continued in part. “I am and will always be a better person because I knew you because I loved you and was loved by you. Thank you for our season.”

This article was originally published on TODAY.com