Ruth Bader Ginsburg Wins Supreme Court Class Photo Day
It's class picture day at the Supreme Court and no one accidentally showed up in pajamas with orange juice stains on them! It's clear why these are the country's most elevated jurists: they all obviously bring home the information slips about important dates. They're probably super into doing homework, too. Just a hunch.
The pictures, the first with the newest Supreme Court Justice, Neil Gorsuch, offer a rare glimpse of a full bench. As well as the opportunity to pick apart every image for clues to the justice's inner workings.
The photos are pretty standard fare but a few things do stick out:
"Pay no attention to the curtain behind the man!"
I was stunned to find that the pictures, which I always assumed were taken in a special velvet room used exclusively for this purpose, are actually staged in the ballroom from Beauty and the Beast. This is a stunning development. I don't know a lot about photography if there aren't SnapChat filters involved but I thought standing in front of a billowing crimson curtain jerry-rigged in a room that has other purposes was only something you did if you were taking production photos for a local production of Cabaret. I'm already learning so much about the law. Also, those palm trees in the corners are doing the most. Is this the Supreme Court or Club Med? Are those stately judge robes or fabulous caftans? So many questions.
Clarence Thomas is smiling.
I have literally never seen Clarence Thomas smile in my entire life. In fact, in most photos Clarence Thomas is serving that special kind of misery that is usually the hallmark of someone watching a retrospective of all of the terrible rulings they've made over the years played out on the Jumbotron at the Pearly Gates.
This is the facial expression of someone whose car got a flat on the wrong side of history. But in these new photos he looks jocular, happy even. Fascinating.
Is he doing a DeNiro impression here? Is it from Meet the Parents? What is happening?!
Sonia Sotomayor is living her best life.
While Thomas looks happy, nobody is having more fun that Justice Sonia Sotomayor. Even in the more serious photos like the one above she can't seem to help cheesing for the camera. Beloveds, even in these strange times, I want you to live your lives with the unrelenting joy of Justice Sonia Sotomayor, the forthrightness of Sally Yates and the terrifying height of James Comey.
One of my favorite photos is this one in which the standing line seems to be "doing a fun one" while the front like is giving you "your freedom is in our hands" stoic realness:
Also, where are they looking? It's everyone's first day with a camera. How many photographers are in this room? I hope the answer is one and everyone is just, like, super awkward. These people are looking every which way like it's the early 1800s and Louis DaGuerre just walked in with a magical box that steals your souls.
Ruth. Bader. Ginsburg. Statement. Necklace.
OMG. YAS KWEEN! The notorious RBG is back at it again, slaying all your faves with this stunning statement necklace. This is a piece, honey! And those earrings! I die. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is that aunt who shows up at every holiday jangling with chunky eye-catching jewelry that she "just found in this cute shop in Malawi and had to have."
Every piece has a backstory, weighs more than her actual perfect head, and is worth more than your life. I'm obsessed with this. I'm obsessed with the thought process behind this. It's like RBG surveyed all the other justices, discovered that the most interesting neckpiece was going to be Steven Breyer's striped collar and sent out a group email that simply read "You're all flops!"
You will never outshine RBG, honey. She will best you in any runway challenge, lewk contest or lip-sync battle. Yes, the jewelry she's rocking looks like it weighs roughly 12 pounds. Of course it does. It's called fashion, darling. Ever heard of it?
RBG is giving us so much and we're not even worthy. This is the lewk of someone who has been to all 10,000 villages and loved every minute of it. You may not have thought you were going get your whole life looking at a photo of the Supreme Court today, but, beloveds, I need you to dream bigger. Dream as big as Ruth Bader Ginsburg enormous, beautiful statement necklace.
Follow R. Eric Thomas on Twitter.
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