RSVP Meaning on Invites—and Answers to Your Etiquette Questions

Savanna Bous
·3 min read

There are a few dos and don’ts of responding to an invitation.

Life is filled with events! Hours of planning go into gatherings like birthday parties, weddings, reunions, graduations, retirement parties, anniversaries—and many more. Most invitations include an RSVP, meaning the party host wants to know if you'll attend. Here are a few helpful tidbits of information, whether you're sending invitations or responding to them.

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mapodile/Getty Images
mapodile/Getty Images

What does RSVP mean?

For over 70 years, we've been officially RSVPing to events, weddings, and social gatherings. The first recorded use was in 1953. RSVP is an abbreviation for the French saying "répondez s'il vous plait," which means "respond please." The official definition of RSVP is "to respond to an invitation."

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What are RSVPs for?

RSVPs are used to learn how many people will attend an event. This is helpful to whoever is planning it. An accurate estimate of how many people are attending helps the host determine how much space, food, and budget they need to make their event happen.

Types of RSVPs

Invitations

Any time someone invites you to something, it's an invitation! It can be verbal if they ask you to attend an event, or you can receive a written invitation.

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Save the Date

These are usually used to announce a wedding. Information about the wedding date, time, and location are provided. When you receive one, it's safe to assume you'll get a wedding invite soon—so clear your calendar! Save the dates don't include an RSVP, meaning you don't have to respond—just look forward to receiving a formal invitation soon.

Digital RSVPs

Great for less informal events like birthday parties and family reunions. Digital RSVPs can be received instantly over text, email, or social media. They also allow the host to immediately see RSVPS, meaning they can start to plan for food and drink farther in advance.

Regrets Only

Sometimes, invites include a regrets-only RSVP, meaning the event host only wants you to respond if you're not attending. If you don't respond to the RSVP, they'll assume you'll be there and plan accordingly.

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How to Respond to an RSVP

Typically, the invitation will have directions on how to respond. Sometimes this can be a simple text or a card you mail back to the host. The best practice is to respond promptly. If you're not sure you can attend, reach out and tell the event organizer.

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When to Send Out an RSVP

Depending on the scale and size of the event, you may want to send out your invitations sooner rather than later. Send out invitations 4-8 weeks in advance (more time for larger events like weddings). This gives guests around 3-6 weeks to decide if they'll be attending or not.

Tips for RSVPs

  • Respond as quickly as you can. This helps the host plan their event better.

  • Don't be afraid to decline. Life happens. They'll understand if you can't go, but save them from spending money on a dinner for you.

  • If the invitation clearly states who's invited by name, it's safe to assume only the people named are invited.

  • Be respectful of the event guidelines like guest limits, no child rules, or a dress code.

  • If you don't receive a plus one, it's best not to ask for one.

  • When the invitation says your name, followed by "and family," the host invites you, your significant other, and immediate family members like children.

  • Don't bring your entire friend group just because you're allowed to list guests on the RSVP.

  • Whether you initially declined and can now go or accepted the RSVP and can't go anymore, communicate with your host to find the best solution.

  • As a host, if someone doesn't respond to the invitation, contact them to confirm.

  • Always thank the hosts who invited you, even if you can't attend.

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