What’s the best part about love and relationships? That’s a seriously tough call. But the beautiful thing is, absolutely everyone is drawn to something different; which means there’s a match out there for every person.
Most of us have at least a vague “type,” uniquely tailored to our individual personalities and what we value in relationships. If you haven’t determined what the common thread is among your exes and crushes, it’s highly possibly that your Myers-Briggs personality type can help determine that for you. For a quick refresher, your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is an assessment that is meant to break down your psychological preferences and how you make decisions. It tells you your penchant for Extraversion or Introversion (E or I); Sensing or Intuition (S or N); Thinking of Feeling (T or F); and Judging or Perceiving (J or P). If you don’t know your MBTI you can take the test here. If you do know your MBTI then find yours below, and discover the type of partner with whom you should be spending your life.
Your type: As the “ruthless commander” of the MBTI, ENTJs know exactly what they’re looking for in terms of raw partner criteria. Your match must be highly intelligent, competent, individualistic, and loyal. They also have to enjoy the finer tastes in life, and be able to work a room with relative ease. If a person you spot has all of those qualities, you tend to believe you can make a relationship happen by sheer force of will.
Don’t forget: Listen to your feelings, even though you’d rather make decisions with your head; emotions tell us when relationships are right and wrong. Love isn’t always as logical as you make it out to be.
Your type: The mysterious and smart type, INTJs are looking for someone who shares a thirst for knowledge and theoretical conversations. Since you’re engrossed in your work for long stretches of time, you’re attracted to independence and self-sufficiency. You date with an eye toward the future, meaning you won’t enter a relationship unless you can see it working out long-term, so having compatible values and interests is a must.
Don’t forget: You gotta try things out sometimes. All your theories might work in your head, but fail to pan out IRL. The unexpected choice may work better than you realize, and show you hidden sides over time.
Your type: INFJs are notoriously picky, mostly because they know exactly what they want: Someone who makes them feel seen, heard, and emotionally safe. This sounds simple on the surface, but it isn’t for you. Not only are you a brilliant, deep, and complex person, but you regularly feel like others don’t “get” you the way that you get them.
Don’t forget: Your ultimate goal in a relationship is to feel appreciated and understood. Since you’re not always in tune with exactly how you’re feeling on an emotional level, let your intuition be your guide.
Your type: INFPs lead with their feelings first, and have extremely specific tastes: You love people who are authentic and novel, who aren’t afraid to follow their dreams or travel to remote locations at the drop of a hat. You’re also highly sensitive, and need someone who won’t break your spirit or abuse your kindness.
Don’t forget: You tend to romanticize and idealize partners. Make sure you aren’t projecting qualities and narratives onto a prospective partner, just because you want it to work. Check them out, warts and all, so you can really determine compatibility.
Your type: ENFPs are social butterflies who pride themselves on their uniqueness and charm. You also aren’t afraid to spend time cracking open the toughest nuts, which is why you love prospects that present as mysterious and brooding. You need to be constantly intrigued, and are drawn to people who reveal flashes of hidden depth behind a controlled surface.
Don’t forget: Sometimes, you imagine mysterious prospects might be incredible (compatible! fascinating!) creatures, but they aren’t actually “all that.” Interesting partners, who you can take at face value, might be a better match long-term.
Your type: ENFJs tend to like dreamy, romantic types, because they think relationships and people make the world go ‘round. You also know you’re an amazing partner for the right person. Sometimes, you can be drawn to those flawed, diamond-in-the-rough types, because you recognize the potential in so many people. You’re incredibly accommodating and have the vision to see what you could be together.
Don’t forget: A relationship is a two-way street. While you’re busy caring and working on the relationship, remember to open up about your unmet needs. There’s also only so much you can “fix” before you’re simply not compatible — or before you’ll break down emotionally.
Your type: The term “heartbreaker” was basically invented for ENTPs. You’re drawn to the quiet, soft-hearted ones, who might seem like the most impossibly shy challenges at first — but your charm can usually break down their walls. Unfortunately, immature ENTPs go for anyone who intrigues them, but exit as soon as they get bored.
Don’t forget: You fall often, just not hard, so slow your roll and seek deeper connection. Lasting desire, based on real compatibility, will grow over weeks and months. Try waiting before launching into your typical chase — if your ultimate goal is to find that one person who endlessly intrigues you with smarts and substance.
Your type: INTPs are often drawn to types who they see as intellectual equals and true partners. You hate drama, and don’t typically go for anyone who’s overly emotional or “creates problems” instead of solves them. You love someone who’s interesting, well-rounded, independent, and shares your offbeat sense of humor.
Don’t forget: Feelings do matter. Although your best match is probably someone with whom you can explore and debate, few people have skin as thick (or as logical) as yours.
Your type: ISTJs are not flashy, and their type typically isn’t either. You tend to err on the traditional side, so shared values are a must. You’re often found with the wholesome, good-hearted and even-keeled ones, who also have an eye toward long-term commitment. (Anything else would not make sense to you!)
Don’t forget: You can’t always judge a book by its cover. You can often pigeon-hole someone too quickly in an attempt to filter efficiently, but you might have it all wrong. At least wait a few dates before you make a final call.
Your type: ESTJs are hard-working, ambitious, goal-oriented types, so their romantic type is sort of an escape from the typical mayhem of their everyday life (career included). You’re likely most drawn to those who help you detach and unwind, through shared interests or a hidden thirst for adventures.
Don’t forget: You need someone who’s more apt to go with the flow than take the lead, but who will also stand up to you when it counts. Yes, you like to be in charge — but you need a partner whose opinion you completely trust and respect, not a pushover.
Your type: ESTPs are the ultra-bright flames, and all suitors are simply moths. While you probably like to flirt and charm just about anyone, the one you really notice is usually just slightly out of reach and very hard to get. There’s nothing more attractive to you than the seemingly unobtainable.
Don’t forget: While the chase might be fun, you’ll get bored with a hard-to-get person if you have nothing in common when you finally lock it down. Make sure that, as you’re winning over that prospect, you’re determining if you’re actually compatible along the way.
Your type: The laid-back renegades of the MBTI, ISTPs aren’t going to be nailed down often. If someone does catch your eye, that’s likely because they’re crazy-independent, able to go with the flow, and like to do the same activities. Your guy or gal is likely someone who would be totally down for a spontaneous trip to Europe, or a two-week ski vacation.
Don’t forget: Relationships aren’t always stressful commitments, so don’t be afraid to give it a shot if you find someone with whom you have a lot in common. You tend to loathe anything that will tie you down, but the right relationship (for you) won’t feel that way.
Your type: Love and lust might be thrill rides for some, but ISFJs tend to value tenets of relationship stability like trust, honesty, respect, and open communication. In terms of your “type,” you’re a romantic to the core, but really want to be pursued by someone bold. You’re just a little too shy to share your feelings first.
Don’t forget: Although you typically know what you feel and are wired toward commitment, most others don’t get there as quickly. Enjoy the ride of dating; it’s fun, too!
Your type: Artistic and free-flowing, ISFPs have big hearts and creative minds — and you love when someone actually notices all the joy you bring to the table. Love is a crazy, unpredictable adventure, and you’re not afraid to dive in head-first. As long as a potential partner is not too controlling and appreciates your reserved side, you could gladly fall in love forever.
Don’t forget: You’re sensitive, but can be a bit passive when it comes to your relationships, often bottling up feelings instead of voicing them. Stand up for yourself and your thoughts. If you can’t, you’re not with the right person.
Your type: ESFPs are fairly obsessed with enjoying life and live almost entirely in the moment, so you’re looking for someone who’s always down for a good time. (Stick-in-the-muds and serious types need not apply!) You want someone with whom you can laugh about memes and funny stories, who will also let you keep your options open. Why plan for tomorrow when you can live well right now?
Don’t forget: You can be stubborn and dig in your heels if you feel like someone is trying to rein you in. Remember, sometimes balance is good — and you really do need a romantic partner who reminds you when to be serious (you know, occasionally).
Your type: If there was ever a personality tailor-made for nurturing with an enthusiastic spirit, it was ESFJ. Ultimately, you just want someone to respect your caring side and really appreciate the awesome qualities you bring to the table — whether that’s mastering a new cake recipe or organizing the best charity event ever. You’re really not that complicated!
Don’t forget: You tend to put others first, and that can also be true when you’re dating and building relationships. You can get so set on a goal (often: a relationship) that you forget to see if you’re truly compatible, or if the person is treating you well. Occasionally, take a step back, be a bit more objective to see if things are really working.
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