The “Riverdale” Thanksgiving Brought All the Feels — and an Exploding Turkey

This week on Riverdale Thanksgiving comes to town with pep, and an ice storm ensures that everyone is trapped in place for at least a few hours. But before we chow down on Pop’s delicious Thanksgiving grub and NOT Archie’s burned, deep-fried turkey, we need to cover the main plot points of the evening.

Thankful for Fred Andrews

Dodger’s family — turns out, he has some — is out for revenge on the person who put their son/brother in a coma, and as far as they know all signs point to Archie Andrews and his community center, which is hosting a Thanksgiving meal for kids in need. Though Hiram tries to shut down the center, Veronica comes through with catered food from the country club, Monroe is psyched about hosting, and even Mary is getting into the holiday spirit (though she and Archie are grieving Fred on their first Thanksgiving without him). Things take a turn when the Dickinson clan shows up and Mama Dickinson pretty quickly pulls out a gun. A fight ensues, with Mama Dickinson hilariously calling out Archie’s hero complex (quite astute in a tense moment, I’ll give her that), Veronica stabbing one of the Dickinson brothers in the hand, and Mary finally grabbing the gun and telling everyone what’s what. Oh, and Archie’s deep-fried turkey explodes at a particularly helpful moment. The night ends in a feast with a nod to Fred, and the next day…or some days later, hard to tell…Archie officially dedicates the center to Fred. Cue the tears.

Cheryl and Toni and the Great Meat-Pie Caper

Since Aunt Cricket is stalking Toni (who still looks sick to her stomach at the wild, haunted ride her life has become this season), Cheryl comes up with a plan to get rid of her pesky family for good, Titus Andronicus style. Related: Do Cheryl and Toni ever leave Thistle House? Worried minds want to know. Anyway, they invite Aunt Cricket and Uncle Fester over for some dinner and performance art. Nana Rose regales the assembled with the story of the first Blossom Thanksgiving, which devolved into a cannibalistic feast thanks to an ice storm similar to the one hitting Riverdale right now, and Cheryl convinces her family that the meat pie they’re eating is filled with Uncle Bedford’s flesh (fact check: it’s lamb). Cricket and Fester are horrified, and Cheryl all but outright says she and Toni killed Bedford and threatens to out their act of cannibalism if they ever come ‘round Thistle House again. Once again, Madelaine Petsch pulls out all the stops as Cheryl. Bravo. This morbid tale has a happy ending, for now, as Cheryl and Toni exchange “I love yous” for the first time. Here’s hoping things stay happy for these two for a while, though the creepy Julian doll is still lurking around…

The Mysteries of Stonewall Prep

For some reason, Betty and Jughead are spending Thanksgiving at a very empty Stonewall Prep, which they think will involve hooking up, vending machine food, writing time, and a little sleuthing into Mr. Chipping’s possibly suspicious death by suicide. Their only lead is a monumental jump to conclusions involving a secret society at Stonewall, Quill & Skull. I told you there was a secret society coming our way. Before they can investigate, or eat any vending machine snacks, their twosome becomes a foursome when Brett and Donna show up in weird rabbit masks. The new Stonewall Four play Never Have I Ever, which is always a good dirt-digging tactic, unless you’re Jughead and have all the smoothness of chunky peanut butter. But Betty, junior FBI agent, snoops in Donna’s room and finds Chipping’s Quill & Skull tie pin. Donna claims she has this because she and Mr. Chipping were having an affair that turned aggressive right before he killed himself. Betty isn’t so sure, and when Jug tries to spill to the headmaster, he discovers that Donna has beat him to it and confessed to the Chipping affair. This would totally put an end to Jug’s investigating if Brett hadn’t clumsily put a very, very fine point on the situation. He might as well have said, “See, Jughead? Chipping totally killed himself, and no one here is in a secret society, and also the sky is green and the Earth is flat, okay? Any questions? Great, bye.” So this case is far from over.

Rumordale dot com:

• Hiram is now mayor, after running unopposed, and Hermosa is heading back to Miami. Veronica, however, is as ice cold as the ice storm — she wants nothing to do with her family, and even rips their Thanksgiving meal out from under them, literally.

• F.P., grappling with the fact that Hiram is now his boss, ends up spending an awkward Thanksgiving night at Pop's with Hiram, Hermione, and Alice. Seriously, drinking rum in a completely silent nightclub for teenagers does not sound like a good time. Is it any surprise the night ends with F.P. nearly killing Hiram, then not doing it, but claiming that everyone in the whole town knows he deserves it?

• Mary is kind of shocked about the fact that she pointed a gun at a woman on Thanksgiving. Archie just laughs and says, “Welcome to Riverdale!” This is not normal, Archie.

• Brett looks and acts like he’s 40 years old. Maybe the Quill & Skull is really some kind of Dorian Gray secret society that promises eternal semi-youth?

• Is Brett recording Jughead and Betty in the dorm room? This is not only creepy, but possibly very illegal, because B and Jug definitely hooked up in view of that recording device.

• At the end of the episode, Betty crosses out Mr. Chipping’s face on what we see is a very elaborate detective red-string bulletin board. Is this Junior FBI extra credit?

• The Dickinson family has apparently skipped town with the body of the comatose Dodger. Sounds like someone’s pulling a Cheryl/Jason Blossom.

• F.P. decides that he’ll be sheriff and a Serpent, because if Hiram can be mayor and a crime boss, he can be Sheriff and a gang leader. If you can’t beat ‘em…join ‘em?

• No Charles, no Chic this week. Wonder how Charles explained his Thanksgiving plans to the family he’s currently trying to fleece for unknown reasons…

Originally Appeared on Teen Vogue