"Riverdale" Recap Season 2 Episode 16: Veronica Lodge for President
Each week, Teen Vogue will be taking you on a journey to Riverdale, a quaint little town hiding some very big secrets.
Things are getting political af in this week’s episode of Riverdale, but before we get there, some family drama to start us off right: the episode picks up right where last week’s left off, with Betty confronting Chic about the 100% unauthorized blood analysis she had done that proves he isn't a Blossom. Chic is like, well of course I'm not a Blossom, I don’t even know those people, but when Betty explains that Blossom = Cooper, they go to mom to settle things. Alice is totally calm as she explains that Hal is not Chic’s father (and she’s not telling who is). When she comforts Chic, he smiles evilly at Betty over dear ol’ mom’s shoulder.
And speaking of Hal Cooper, he’s doing a puff piece interview with Hermione for the Lodge-owned Register, complete with spin re: the Southside High School Prison and a celebrity endorsement from Bravo’s Andy Cohen (which explains why Kevin is sitting in on this interview — apparently he’s a #1 fan). As Kevin and Andy take a photo together, Hermione warns Veronica that this campaign will be hard, and she needs to keep a low profile for a while.
When Fred reads the front-page interview, he’s all sad sighs that get even sadder when Archie walks in the room and tries to explain that the prison is a good idea. Fred is NOT into it and informs his somewhat estranged son that he’ll be severing all ties with Lodge Industries and SoDale, ASAP. (Hermione later seems understanding about this, though she cautions Fred that lawyers will need to be involved.) Aside from the time he went soft on punishing Ms. Grundy for her illegal relationship with his teenage son, Fred might just be the moral backbone of this show.
Jughead, surprising no one, is also upset about the front-page news, and in addition to his hunger strike, he gives Veronica flack for it at lunch — until Archie and Betty both defend her, saying she knew nothing about her parents’ plans. (Of course, Archiekins knows this is a lie.) Jughead might back off for the moment, but you know who’s back and also not very happy with V? Ethel Muggs! She marches up to Veronica, gives a speech about her family’s crimes against Riverdale, and throws a strawberry milkshake in V’s face. As Betty points out when she’s helping V wash up, it’s impressive/scary that Ethel was dedicated enough to her mission to bring that shake all the way from Pop’s. Veronica is chill about it all, though — she knows that her family hurt Ethel’s, and they still haven’t made amends. She’s going to turn the other cheek.
That plan lasts about 5 seconds, because Reggie soon takes a break from hanging up his school election campaign posters to make lewd and rude comments about Veronica — and once he mentions that her dad will probably be the first inmate in the SSHS prison, she loses her cool and punches him out. Not exactly keeping a low profile.
The next morning, family tensions escalate all over town. Cheryl, who thinks she heard her doorknob rattling overnight, suspiciously watches her uncle pour Nana Rose some of Penelope’s special tea. Over at the Pembrooke, Veronica’s parents tell her to fall in line and act like a good little daughter. She agrees, but the second she gets to school she announces she’s running for student council president and asks Betty to run with her. “B & V: a team you can believe in.”
Moving right from one team you can believe in to another: Toni Topaz is officially on the River Vixens! To celebrate, Cheryl invites her inner circle (T, V, B, and J) over for a slumber party. Formal dressing gowns required. It’s fun for about a minute, as the girls brush each other’s hair, Dua Lipa's "New Rules" style, but then Cheryl admits to her crew that she’s scared of being alone in her house in such a dramatic way that Toni asks if this is real or a game. Real, Toni. Cheryl is afraid of being poisoned by her mother’s herb collection, and “Cousin Betty” tells the girls that she’s scared, too, since she’s also living with a stranger. Josie, Veronica, and Betty all eventually fall asleep, and Cheryl and Toni are about to kiss — after Cheryl tells Toni she really wanted to just invite her, but knew her mom would flip — when a loud crash interrupts them (and wakes up the others). Nana Rose is splayed at the bottom of the stairs (but not dead)! Cheryl overhears her mother planting the seeds of Nana “sundowning” to the paramedic who arrives and notices that Claudius is wearing her dad’s pajamas…which, to her, means they pushed Nana Rose and that she’s next. Yikes on bikes.
While the gal pals are not-so-slumbering, Archie meets Jug at Pop’s to do more of Hiram’s dirty work — in this case, telling Jughead that demolition on SSHS is set to start this very week. Both boys bring their family histories up when explaining their at-odds stances on the prison issue, and the end result isn’t pretty: Jughead predicts that he and Archie are two trains heading right for a collision. As much as I could do without Jug’s metaphors, he’s probably right. Archie doesn’t have much time to dwell on it, though, because Mary Andrews is back in town! To act as Fred’s lawyer against the Lodges. Archiekins is optimistic that Hiram will act honorably, but his parents are definitely not so sure and it’s driving a wedge between them and their son. At lunch later, Mary reminds Archie that his dad is amazing.
At school, the campaign has begun: Veronica gives out cheek kisses and cupcakes for her and B, until Ethel storms in and accuses V of “sexualizing the election.” V wants to make reparations, though, and tells Ethel that her dad is working on getting Ethel’s dad a job (even though Veronica’s dad is def not doing that). Veronica also asks Josie for a celebrity endorsement (like mother, like daughter), and promises an Andy Cohen connection in return.
Betty is too busy to participate in most of her running mate’s campaigning, though, because she comes home to find Kevin and Chic in her kitchen, chatting and drinking milk. Chic knows all about the catfishing because Kev felt bad, and when Betty tells her brother not to mess with her friends, he reminds her about the inner darkness she said they shared. B’s response? “You know nothing about my darkness…but you will.” Chills! She later proves this by flicking a lighter in Chic’s face while he’s asleep and telling him that she’s going to bring him down, just like she brought down Clifford Blossom, the Sugar Man, and the Black Hood…who are all dead now. Wow, Betty.
Meanwhile, after a Serpents & Swords meeting to convince his fellow Junior Serpents to protest the SSHS demolition, Jughead and 8 others are chained to the front of SSHS. Hiram finds this out in the middle of a tense meeting with Mary and Fred, and quickly dispatches Archie to deal with it. Juggy is not impressed with Hiram’s new bodyguard. Why is Archie allowing himself to be such a pawn? Betty also pays a visit to the Serpents (sunny morning Betty again, after her nighttime terror routine) for moral support. But she has to split because there’s a big student council meeting…
…which turns out to be where Josie gives B&V her endorsement and sings a song with Veronica (“Sufferin’ Till Suffrage” from Schoolhouse Rock!)—until Ethel starts handing out flyers depicting a Veronica’s pic and all the things she’s lied about (including her prior knowledge of the SSHS Prison). Betty runs out, Veronica and Archie follow, and Ethel thanks Josie for the intel! Turns out, Josie has not forgiven Veronica, Andy Cohen or no Andy Cohen — she thinks she and Ethel need to stick together, because the Lodges hurt a lot of people, including both their families. I did not see this coming!
Veronica catches up to Betty, and bad news bears: B&V are no longer a team you can believe in. Betty can’t trust Veronica anymore (nor run with her), even though Veronica says she only got involved in her parents’ beeswax to keep them honest, and she felt like she couldn’t say no to them. Veronica looks resigned and sad when Betty rejects her pleas. She gets even sadder when she gets home and finds Hermione, who’s mad because Veronica has definitely not been keeping that low profile. V breaks down (great performance by Camila Mendes here) and tells her mom how every day she has go out there, exposed, to face what her parents have done — and she thought that if she were her peers’ president, they’d stop looking at her like she’s the daughter of criminals, like she’s a criminal herself. Hermione softens and so do I. Poor V!
Betty faces her own mother-daughter chat at home, because Chic went through her stuff and found her black bob wig, which he tells Alice she wears when she and Jughead have sex (he’s just guessing, but, uh…it’s true — and also a violation of B's private life). Betty is speechless, Alice is speechless, Chic is speechless (that he guessed right).
Not speechless? F.P. and Jughead, who are having a heart-to-heart in front of SSHS. Hiram offered the Joneses a penthouse in SoDale (big enough to reunite the whole family), but father and son are united in their desire to tell Hiram where he can shove his penthouse. It’s a cute moment that gets even cuter as we cut to the Andrews residence, where Archie indirectly insults Fred and Mary goes off on him about not disrespecting his dad, especially in favor of Hiram, who is a crook who has no intention of letting Fred out of his contract. Archie = schooled by his mom. Can Mary Andrews offer the real talk every episode?
Speaking of moms, Betty’s has found her voice. Alice stops by B’s room for a safe sex talk, during which she admits that she and F.P. were, uh, intimate once, too. Betty wonders what I was wondering: is F.P. Chic’s dad? Alice is adamant that he’s not, but she does take the opportunity to remind Betty that Chic needs them, even if he’s damaged. Betty later tries to make a truce with Chic, but it’s undermined by the fact that both of them threaten their insider knowledge of the drug dealer murder on each other. Chic turns the tables on Betty and claims that she scares him, so they’re kind of out of options.
Cheryl is also out of options — the trace amounts of tannis root in Nana’s blood is explained away by her supposed “sundowning,” and before she can tell the doctor about her deranged mom and uncle, Penelope arrives to whisk her away. In the car, Cheryl tells her mom that she’s figured it out, they paralyzed Nana Rose and pushed her down the stairs. Penelope responds by gaslighting Cheryl and telling her she’s mad, but they’ll fix her. Uh-oh…
But first: the protest! It’s grown — a lot — and Hiram is ready to use force to bust it up. But not the police force, since that would look bad. Archie and his wrestling team. Archie refuses, until Hiram reminds him of the blood oath, at which point our redheaded hero agrees but asks Hiram to let his dad out of his contract in exchange. So Archie and his team (minus Kevin) cut the Serpents protest chains, and he and Juggy exchange apologies that sound more like goodbyes. Judging by the number of cell phone cameras around, I don’t think the SSHS issue is going to go away as quickly as Hiram would like.
Later that day, Betty agrees to run with Jughead for student council, as long as he agrees to let her move in since she can’t be near Chic (they should probably ask F.P. first). Archie learns that his dad is out of his Lodge Industries contract — oh, and Mary is going to stick around for a while and run Fred’s CAMPAIGN FOR MAYOR! And Toni arrives at Thistle House, looking for Cheryl, only to be told by Penelope that Cheryl is at boarding school in Switzerland.
Toni is skeptical, with good reason: it turns out Cheryl is at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, and about to undergo some kind of sick conversion therapy. WTF, Riverdale?! Betty & her Scooby Doo crew better break Cheryl outta there, quick. Like, NOW.
Well, I’m sad that the core four are no longer a thing, excited about all the upcoming campaigning on both the school and city levels, and extremely scared for Cheryl. Eagerly awaiting next week, Riverdale.
Related: This Is What Happens When You Challenge the Stars of Riverdale to TRUTH OR DARE
