"Riverdale" Is The Wildest Show To Ever Air On TV, And Here Are 44 Moments To Prove It
Last week, The CW announced that Riverdale will conclude with a seventh and final season.
If you've stuck with the show since 2017, you know that it's been quite the ride. In honor of the series wrapping up soon, I decided to compile a mega list of some of the wildest moments over the years. Here they are below!
Obviously, MASSIVE spoilers ahead!!!
1.First, when Jughead gave his iconic (and infamous) "I'm a weirdo" speech.
And this was back in Season ONE.
Listen to his full monologue here:
2.When Veronica, a literal teenager, just casually ran a speakeasy in high school.
Just after school things!
3.When Archie was mauled and almost killed by a bear.
"I sURviVEd a bEAr AtTacK, DAD!!!"
4.When Betty, a 16-year-old, performed a pole dance in front of the entire town, including her mother and her boyfriend's father, to join the Serpents.
5.Cheryl casually keeping her dead brother's corpse, talking to him, and introducing him to her girlfriend, Toni. Because there's nothing weird about it at all!!!
6.And when Cheryl became convinced that this creepy doll hanging around Jason's corpse was actually the possessed spirit of Julian, their triplet brother whom she supposedly absorbed in the womb.
Then it turned out Cheryl didn't actually "eat" Julian after all, and the whole thing was just to mess with her. Just Riverdale things!
7.When Hiram, Veronica's dad, framed teenage Archie for murder, and then Archie pleaded guilty to manslaughter and went to juvie.
I remember when I thought this was jumping the shark.
8.And then when Veronica and the rest of the River Vixens performed a completely serious routine to "Jailhouse Rock" for Archie outside of juvie.
"BeCAuSe wE'rE eNDgaME, ArCHiE!!!"
Watch the full performance here:
9.When Betty's mom and sister casually told her that she might have the "serial killer genes."
10.When it was revealed that Jason was murdered by his own father, Clifford.
Basically, Jason found out that the "family maple syrup business" was actually a drug trafficking front. Clifford didn't want his son to expose the family secret, so he killed him.
11.When Polly — who was pregnant with her and Jason's twins at the time — discovered that she and Jason were, in fact, biological cousins.
Oh, how poorly that Hal line aged...
12.When everyone joined "The Farm," which turned out to be a cult where they brainwashed people in order to harvest their organs.
13.When it turned out that Alice wasn't actually brainwashed by the cult and had actually just been working with the FBI the entire time.
What a relief!!!
14.And THEN when The Farm's leader, Edgar (played by none other than '00s heartthrob Chad Michael Murray), tried to escape by shooting himself out of a rocket.
15.When teenage Archie formed a vigilante group called the Red Circle after the Black Hood shot his dad.
"We will find you. We will hunt you. And we will end you."
16.And then when Hal was revealed to be the Black Hood, prompting Alice to deliver this epic takedown.
17.When everyone conspired to help Jughead fake his own death so that the Stonewall Prep kids wouldn't literally kill him.
18.And when, as part of the plan to protect Jughead, Archie and Betty began "fake dating" so the whole school would believe Jughead was really dead...
...which eventually turned into actual cheating.
The cheating wasn't a *direct* result of their fake dating scheme, but I feel like it definitely helped plant the seeds for this to happen. #Barchie4ever
19.When Kevin, Fangs, and Reggie stumbled into the "tickle porn" industry, because why the hell not!
20.Whenever they found time to put on a musical in the midst of all these murders, brainwashing cults, and creepy supernatural occurrences.
Special shoutout to Archie's music subplot back in Season 1.
21.When the cheerleaders began inexplicably having mass seizures.
TBH, this is, like, the least strange thing to happen at that school.
22.When Betty's long-lost brother, Charles, aka Chic, turned out to actually be an imposter.
23.And then when the REAL Charles showed up, and he was revealed to be dating imposter Chic. Oh, BTW, Charles also turned out to be a serial killer.
24.When Betty and Jughead casually lived under one roof with their literal shared half-brother (Charles) and their parents, while continuing to date.
Gossip Girl did it first!
25.When the Gargoyle King turned out to be Chic.
This entire plot was a roller coaster from start to finish.
...and don't forget about the whole Griffins and Gargoyles game!
26.When Betty literally chloroformed her mother.
27.When Cheryl and Veronica waterboarded Cheryl's mother with maple syrup.
28.Speaking of maple syrup, when a literal ALIEN preserved in syrup was just casually delivered to Jughead at work.
29.When Archie decided it was totally appropriate to school his fellow inmates on the "epic highs and lows of high school football."
30.When Betty had a vision of Alice and Polly throwing the twins, Juniper and Dagwood, into a fire and then the babies just started LEVITATING.
We're not even gonna get into why the twins were still babies here when they should have been much older. This is Riverdale we're talking about here.
31.When Cheryl literally sent Josie a pig's heart.
Josie kept those receipts!
32.When Nana Rose revealed that there are actually a bunch of secret Blossoms just casually living in the woods.
33.When Polly attacked a nurse named Betty and almost "clawed her face off."
Honorable mention: when Polly and Alice were hypnotized and tried to murder Betty.
34.Whenever "Dark Betty" made an appearance.
Lili Reinhart actually asked Riverdale to stop giving her Dark Betty scenes, explaining in an interview with Teen Vogue: "It was supposed to be this dark side of her that she wasn’t able to express otherwise, and it just became this weird sexual thing that people didn’t really understand."
35.When it was revealed that "tangerine" was apparently the word that triggered Betty's darkness.
Yes, tangerine.
36.When Jughead's sister, Jellybean, anonymously began sending out creepy surveillance videos of people pretending to kill Riverdale residents while wearing these creepy, creepy masks.
37.When Hiram, who was the mayor at the time, quarantined the entire town.
This one is extra strange to think about in 2022.
38.When Veronica killed her husband, Chadwick, after he tried to kill her.
39.And when Veronica put out a hit on her father and then was shocked when Hiram was, in fact, killed.
40.When Toni, Fangs, Jughead, Betty, and Tabitha went to take down the "moth men."
How did we get here?
41.When Tabitha literally traveled through time, because that's just a thing on Riverdale now, I guess.
42.When Archie and Betty discovered they had acquired superpowers after an explosion. Also, Jughead gained the ability to read minds.
43.When they sacrificed Archie in an alternate universe called "Rivervale."
...yes, RiverVALE. Emphasis on the "v."
44.And finally, when they solved the whole Rivervale conundrum by going full MULTIVERSE!!!
Riverdale...you are truly a work of art.
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