Ring in a Joyful 2023 with These Funny Resolutions

Ring in a Joyful 2023 with These Funny Resolutions

Forget your juice cleanses. Hang up your jump ropes and boxing gloves. Put that credit card down and forget about buying that expensive gym membership or personal life coach. Sure those things can be helpful and maybe lead to some lasting change and better habits if you keep your “New Year, New You” motto past January 15. But for the rest of us, who are either burnt out on resolutions altogether or have to disguise them with words like “goals” or “new hobby,” we think the new year should be fun and not bum us out as much as the last two seasons of the pandemic have. Let’s look at 2023 as an opportunity to take on a bucket list of ways to make ourselves and our families experience even more joy or at the very least, laugh a little bit (we have New Year's jokes for that!). Maybe even at ourselves for how much we want to make resolutions.

This list encompasses fun ideas and challenges to try throughout the year that may or may not exist on anyone's bucket list—but should! You'll also find tucked away here and there a few tongue-in-cheek resolutions you are guaranteed to keep—cause no doubt you're already doing them. (Happy hour wine, anyone?) Whatever way you slice it, make 2022 a year you can look back on and smile and feel less stressed about. If you're looking for even more ideas of New Year's resolutions that are actually doable, check out our Best New Year's Resolutions You'll Actually Keep.

funny new years resolutions
Crispin la valiente
  • Order every drink on the Starbucks Menu.

  • Flamingo a friend’s yard for their birthday or an anniversary.

  • Perfect your charcuterie board skills.

  • Write your own Instagram captions.

  • Stop drinking your morning coffee AFTER you brush your teeth.

  • Celebrate Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas, in July!

  • Exercise…your right to Taco Tuesday!

  • Host a chicken party!

  • Stop blaming my farts on the dog.

  • Wine down the day with a glass of vino…oh, wait, you’ve already perfected that resolution.

  • Treat your car to regular disco carwashes.

  • Be on a first name basis with your regular Door Dasher.

  • Perfect your favorite celebrity impression.

  • Spend a night ending each and every sip of your drink with an enthusiastic, “Ahhhhh, baby!”

  • See how many times you can watch your favorite series back to back, in one year, without getting bored of it.

  • Bring up your enneagram number any chance you can and get friends to find out their number.

funny new years resolutions
Nora Carol Photography
  • Join a "buy nothing" group on Facebook and trade up to see how big of an item you can get.

  • Keep gum or mints in your purse and be the friend that always has them to offer after meals.

  • Start a meme account.

  • Work “Time will tell” into conversation at least once a week.

  • Stay in more interesting Airbnb’s (treehouses, teepees, Airstreams, etc.)

  • Drink your coffee while it’s hot

  • Got a little “junk in the truck?” Find out what’s in there…literally: see what treasures are hiding out in your car’s trunk.

  • Throw a penny in the mall wishing well, every time you go (and get rid of all those pennies in the process).

  • Host a Sunday Supper for your friends at least once a month.

  • Learn the "Thriller" dance by Halloween

  • Rearrange your kitchen…yet again.

  • Break your New Year’s Resolutions…and don’t feel guilty, one bit!

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