“People Are Unhinged—We Had to Install Blockades”: Restaurant Workers Reveal So Much Bad Behavior During the Pandemic
From grueling hours spent on their feet to dealing with rude customers on the daily, being a service worker has never been an easy job. But being a service worker during a worsening pandemic? That’s a special kind of nightmare.
Sure, lots of businesses have closed their doors and people continue to hunker down into their at homes across the country, but your neighborhood baristas, bartenders, and servers are still hustling. Despite a national daily death toll that will—for months—surpass 9/11’s, service workers are expected to put on their PPE and a smile as they prepare your favorite meals and beverages. Plus, the entire industry has had to be scrappy as the constantly adapt to government guidelines, boomeranging between offering different kinds of dining and service. Now more than ever, these workers need understanding and patience but are instead being treated with the opposite. A recent study found that patrons are tipping less and harassing even more—a slap in the face to those who are just trying to stay safe and financially afloat during a terrifying time.
Cosmopolitan spoke to four service workers on the bad behavior they’ve experienced at the expense of customers
"I had multiple older men say, 'Why don’t you take your mask down so we can see your pretty face?'"
"I recently left my serving job at a private country club because members weren’t being serious about the mask mandates and/or tipping us properly. I knew that I needed to find a serving job because I've been applying to grad school and those applications are expensive. So I went in for an interview at a country club and staff-wise, everyone seemed really great. A lot of members seemed friendly, especially older men. But after my training and once I was on my own, I noticed right off the bat that the men were pretty lurky.
I had multiple older men say, ‘Why don’t you take your mask down so we can see your pretty face?’ I had been used to things like ‘baby girl,’ ‘sweetie,’ or ‘hun’ and that made me uncomfortable but this added harassment sat so wrongly with me.As far as tipping goes, most private clubs members pay dues every year and you have to pay 15 percent or more to servers. But at this club, it wasn’t the case.
The worst of it is the people who write passive aggressive notes on why they didn’t tip you. This one guy ordered a BLT and the kitchen didn’t put lettuce on it. I told him, 'I’m so sorry' and got him a side of it. I brought him his bill so he could sign it and he just wrote, 'NO LETTUCE' in all caps, underlined. The tip literally would have been $3." —Kenzie Myer, 21, Glenside, Pennsylvania
"In my seven years of experience, I've only had people walk out without paying twice. Both happened during the pandemic."
"I started working at a local restaurant in June after I graduated college in May. I was planning on trying to find a job in my field, but it was really difficult to do so at the time. I’d been serving on and off between school semesters and during summers since I was 15, so waitressing seemed like the best option to make some quick money. At first, in Massachusetts, most people were generous with their tips but that quickly waned and by now, the money really doesn’t justify the risk of serving people indoors all day. In a lot of ways, serving during this time has been really interesting, from an almost sociological perspective. Dining seems to be one of the things Americans are least willing to give up. People love going out to eat. It makes sense; it just seems like a strange thing to still be doing as a person a minute dies in the United States from COVID.
In my seven years of experience, I've only had people walk out without paying twice. Both happened during the pandemic. That was pretty shocking to me and both times I had to take the money they didn’t pay out of my personal tips for the day. I’ve also had a lot of people come in and completely monopolize my time. A lot of people are lonely and angry right now, and I think they use dining as an outlet for that discontent. That kind of stuff is frustrating. Your tips depend on whether or not the table likes you, so I’ve had to nod along to and put up with some pretty lengthy politically-centered lectures from customers.
A lot of people come in and talk about how ridiculous the mask mandate is and I’ve had many customers implore me to take my mask off to talk to them, which is uncomfortable. There’s just been a huge uptick in entitlement. Americans think it’s their right to be served. I think a lot of people don’t see their servers as people outside of the restaurant and they take out a lot of their anxiety and fear on the people serving them, getting angrier and more temperamental about small mistakes and inconveniences.
Most of my bad experiences with customers have been due to things out of my control. In Massachusetts, you currently cannot be served alcohol without also ordering food and we have a 10 p.m.-5 a.m. curfew in place. People get upset about these things—early closing times, having to order food, not being able to sit right at the bar anymore—and then they blame the servers and bartenders rather than the governor or, God forbid, themselves.
Financially speaking, money is definitely tight right now if you’re a server. I ended up quitting my job a few days ago because the money wasn’t there and therefore, it wasn’t worth risking my health anymore. More than that though, the mental and emotional burnout from serving was what really pushed me to quit. Indoor dining is really risky and with weather getting colder up here, most people want to eat inside if they’re still comfortable dining out.
Personally, I won’t dine indoors so I started becoming very uncomfortable being inside the restaurant all day with very little ventilation. I started noticing how anxious I was before a shift and how hard it was for me to fall asleep after work and eventually I decided that it wasn’t worth the mental toll anymore. The other day, I noticed dark circles under my eyes that hadn’t been there before and that’s when I called my manager and quit. Not to sound vain, but I’m only 22 years-old! I should not have such dark circles under my eyes yet! Most essential workers are probably on the same page; we’ve all just seemed to have grown accustomed to being anxious all day at work.
The most disappointing thing about all these personal responsibility campaigns directed at patrons is that it takes the focus away from the real culprits in this mess. Indoor dining should have been shut down a month ago, if not even further back. It’s irresponsible on the part of [Governor] Charlie Baker to encourage people to support their local businesses while being fully aware of the risks of dining indoors. So I would tell patrons to be mindful of their own health and safety as well as that of the people serving them and working in restaurants right now. I mean, is indoor dining during a global pandemic really the hill you want to die on?” —Madeline Hurwitz, 22, Millis, Massachusetts
"A lot of the people on the front lines are being asked to be the enforcers and really, that’s not our job."
"I'm a bartender at a distillery in Brooklyn, New York and we started out doing to-go cocktails and then we eventually opened up outdoor seating. People don’t feel used to tipping on to-go orders as much as they do on sit-down service.
When we were just doing take-out from the window, I had one customer where I took his drink order and then informed him, according to Governor Cuomo, we have to sell you a snack. I told him at our distillery we offer a variety because we try to support our local producers but we also have just 50-cent Cheez-Its. He grumbled a little bit but he paid for his drink and the extra 50 cents for the Cheez-Its. After I served him he started to yell at me: 'Why do I have to buy food? It’s just a tiny package of Cheez-Its. You don’t even have any seating out here and you’re serving a plastic cup. Why can’t I get served in a glass cup?'
I was also working the bar entirely myself so I didn’t have time to be a dishwasher, a bartender, and a chef. This whole time he was ranting at me through the window his mask was down and I obviously felt uncomfortable standing so close to someone talking loudly at me without a mask. To add on to the fact that he was upset, I was by myself and didn’t have my boss there.
I worry about getting COVID-19 and making sure I’m being safe so customers are safe. I worry about bringing COVID-19 home to my partner. I love my job but it’s a lot of worrying. It’s a lot of pressure to have. Imagine if I’m somehow unknowingly exposed and someone gets sick because of me?
I started bartending because I love talking to people about whiskey. I didn’t sign up to be a policeman and lecture people on wearing their mask. A lot of the people on the front lines are being asked to be the enforcers and really, that’s not our job." —Kim*, 25, Hoboken, New Jersey
"If we tell somebody to put on a mask and they're not wearing one, they usually instantly freak out."
"I’m currently a barista at the busiest Starbucks in the northeast region of the country. Prior to the pandemic, we were only making 1,000 drinks at our busiest and now we’re making 14,000 a day.
People are either extremely nice to us and tip us insane amounts and are eternally grateful that we’re here or it’s the worst of the worst and they’re really angry about the situation.
People are unhinged. They’re very angry toward each other, too, which is bizarre because if somebody gets cut off in our drive-through typically it’s no big deal. It happens. We’re on a highway where it’s pretty high volume. But people have been getting out of their cars and physically fighting. People have been screaming in each other’s faces and honking their horns over their order so we can’t take their order.
We had to install blockades. We've had to install barriers. Even with all the PPE we have in place and the plastic shields we have for us to block off our espresso machines, customers get really offended if we say, ‘Please don't do that.’ That's why educating people during this time is so important to me. But sometimes in the service world you have to grin and bear it and have these uncomfortable conversations. I feel like that's what has triggered a lot of the anger. If we tell somebody to put on a mask and they're not wearing one, they usually instantly freak out.
We're all doing our best. We're trying not to let our own spirits wear down because if a customer sees us even looking downwards, they're going to use that as an excuse to attack and that causes morale problems with our staff. You never know what you're going to see. You feel like you're always on high alert."—Erin, 23, Boston, Massachusetts
*Some last names have been omitted to to maintain the safety of our sources.
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