Resilience with a capital 'R'
How do you handle bad news? Do you have certain coping mechanisms in place? Imagine you’ve been diagnosed with a life-changing condition, your house has been robbed, your spouse walked out, you’ve been fired from your dream job. We’ve all had bad news, and we are all going to get bad news.
Bad news can leave you feeling as though your whole life is falling apart and can start you on an emotional roller coaster ride with a plethora of feelings from devastation, anger, depression, fear, guilt--and the list goes on. Realize that many things happen to us in our life we have no control over.
The key is how you react, respond, regain a sense of calmness. and move forward.
Deep Breathing: First and foremost, just after receiving bad news, start by regulating your breathing. Receiving bad news can have an instant effect on your body quickly kicking in your fight-or-flight response.
Breathe in deeply through your nose and hold the air in for several seconds. Then purse your lips and gradually let the air out. Let out as much air as you can. It is perfectly fine to pause, be quiet, and take a few minutes to just breathe. Take at least three to eight breath cycles until you feel more relaxed.
Self-Control. As you are breathing stay calm and listen. Accept the negative emotions but do not let them trigger an endless spiral. It is important to have the ability to regulate your response in order to avoid undesirable behaviors.
Instead of dealing with the bad news, it may be tempting to act rashly, making a bad situation worse by losing yourself in drugs and alcohol. Research tells us that possessing self-control can be important for our well-being.
Reverse it. Turn a negative into a positive. For instance, my house was robbed because I had a house full of beautiful things, or I lost a great relationship because I had a great love in the first place. Yes, this is one of those it easier-said-than-done. One of my dearest friends, diagnosed with cancer, integrated humor and a positive attitude into her daily life. She once left a note on my desk with a huge smiley face and the words, “MD Anderson gave me 6 more months to live.” Turning the negative into a positive, BB was thrilled that the doctors had given her six more months. On the flip side, devastating news can change your life forever when there is no way to reverse it. It is in the way you handle yourself as you move forward that will make the difference. Do not hesitate to reach out to support groups, get counseling, learn to forgive, and if it is in your wheelhouse, pray.
Well Being: It is important to take care and be kind to yourself. For instance, if you are a caregiver for a family member, if you do not take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of your family member. It is important to look after your physical and mental health. Eating healthy means fruits and vegetables. Unhealthy foods and alcohol can significantly boost negative moods. The Journal of Clinical Nursing reported that receiving hand and feet massages for eight weeks after the death of a loved one provided some consolation and was reported to be a “worthy, early, grieving-process support option for bereaved family members.”
Stay calm and breathe. Let life’s challenges breed Resilience.
Feel free to share your thoughts with me: ashton@ashtoncannon.com.
Ashton Graham is an educator, book publisher, photographer, cowgirl and yoga teacher. She is currently studying to become a yoga therapist and lives on a ranch in West Texas. Subscribe to her newsletter “Maintaining Balance” www.ashtoncannon.com.
This article originally appeared on Las Cruces Sun-News: Resilience with a capital 'R'
