Reddit Is Mopping the Floor With This Dad Who Tells His Wife When To Clean

Sydni Ellis
·7 min read
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Sipping hot coffee on a beautiful fall morning is one of the greatest joys in life. Your mug is steaming, your kids are still snoozing — anything is possible for the day ahead! Except for one tiny little thing…your husband does not want to see you relaxing. Um, excuse me? This stay-at-home mom on Reddit shared that her husband complains if she isn’t “working” every second of the day, and there’s no way his job is that ridiculous.

In the Parenting subreddit, a mom wrote that she is a SAHM mom of two boys and has been with her husband for seven years. He works on the railroad by day — and at home as an evil dictator by night.

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“Since I am a stay at home mom he says that this is ‘my job’ and I need to treat it as such,” she wrote. While I do think being a stay-at-home parent is a tough job, I don’t think that means you shouldn’t enjoy your coffee in the mornings or whatever peace and quiet you can get throughout the day. Or, that your supposedly loving partner can skip out on, well, everything because it’s not his “job.”

The mom wrote that because he views her work as a “job,” that means “he does not help out with the cleaning or the kids.” My jaw is unhinged — what a gross, twisted way to get out of taking care of your own house and children!

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This mom, who is apparently an angel, actually didn’t mind this arrangement at first. She wrote, “It never used to bother me until recently.” So let me get this straight. This husband gets to go to work, come home, and not parent or clean — and his wife is perfectly fine with it. So why, why, why would he have any complaints? He should be walking with a permanent smile on his face with this BS, patriarchal arrangement. Instead, he decides to make things worse (like a typical trash husband).

“Usually when I wake up I like to relax and drink my coffee and take my time,” she wrote, and yes, queen! What parent wouldn’t take that opportunity if it was provided? It’s the simply things in life. “And then when my 1 yr old goes to nap, I start cleaning. It’s the way that works best for me,” she continued. “My husband thinks I need to start cleaning right after I wake up cuz ‘that’s what you would do at a job.’”

Wait, what? So she’s not even allowed to have her damn coffee now because she has to clean every second?

“A few days ago he was upset that I did not start the dishes yet so he did them himself,” she wrote, adding, “This is probably the 3rd time he’s done dishes in the past 7 years.” Give the man a medal, he did something my 3-year-old can do!

“He then proceeded to tell me ‘if someone at my job had to pick up my slack, I would feel really bad.’ So I told him it is not slack if it is also your kids and your house. Now a few times a day he mentions me ‘working.’ Am I wrong to be upset about this?? It is just so frustrating to me.”

What in the Snow White is wrong with this husband? A stay-at-home mom’s goal in life isn’t to clean on your timetable. It’s such toxic, controlling behavior and Reddit did not let him off the hook. They mopped the floor with this pathetic excuse for a man.

“No, you have every right to be annoyed,” one person wrote. “If it were a regular day job, then you wouldn’t just start at a specific time — your shift would end at a certain time as well. You would also get days off. He can’t expect you to follow his schedule in the morning when you don’t have the luxury of clocking out.”

“Ask him who he thinks your boss is,” another said. (Hint: it’s her. She’s her own boss, OK?)

Someone else suggested, “Ask why he gets to clock out of his job but yours is 24/7.” Right, how’s that division of labor, sir?

Unbelievably, other people could relate (which just makes me so, so sad). “This!! My husband and I had this ‘fight’ a couple of times before he suggested that I do my job while he does his. Well the problem with that was that I usually don’t start dinner til about 5, maybe 5:30, depending on difficulty and guess what time my husband got off work. If you guessed 5, you win! So the first day of this arrangement, I didn’t start dinner like normal, because I clocked out at 5. He was a bit miffed at first until I reminded him that I stopped working when he did. He then realized no one was ‘on the clock’ for bedtime for the kids. This arrangement did not last long (one day to be exact).”

Men can honestly be so infuriatingly stupid at times.

“When I had a ‘job’ the first task was make a drink, sit down and plan your day. Sounds like that is exactly what OP is doing,” another wrote. “And presumably all chores are being completed within the required time? Then she is a model employee. Any more problems go to HR.”

Someone else praised their stay-at-home wife. “My wife is a SAHM, while I work a traditional job 8am-5pm M-F. During that time, our kid and our home IS her job. But outside of my ‘work hours,’ they are 50/50 shared responsibility,” they wrote. “That’s the only sensible way to do it imo. Being a SAHM is a tough, often thankless job with few breaks and shit pay, there are no weekends, and children don’t magically stop needing you when the clock strikes five. Husband is an asshole for even making the comparison.”

The OP commented to address another problem: working out.

“The working out thing is very annoying too!” she wrote. “My husband works out at least 5 times a week in the gym we built in our garage. I always watch the kids so he can focus on his workout. Now when it comes to me wanting to workout, I either need to do it when the kids sleep or try to do it with them out there with me. He’s always ‘too busy’ or has things going on so he can’t watch the kids.”

Additionally, she clarified that her husband is getting tons of time off. “Right now the railroad is slow so he has only been working 2 days a week 🙃,” she wrote, adding in another comment, “He makes the same amount every week unless he works more than the usual hours. He works on salary so his weekly pay is guaranteed no matter if it’s 1 day or 5.”

OMG! He could pick up a freaking mop or maybe take a baby on a walk or something, instead of using up all his energy to make his wife’s life a living hell.

Others tried to make light of the situation with the most hilarious train puns. “It seems you are one being ‘railroaded’…” one wrote. Another said, “OP’s husband needs a hard kick in the caboose. Can’t he see that she’s running out of steam?” Someone else said, “These issues could really derail their relationship,” and another replied, “I think they already passed that station.”

But in all seriousness, this arrangement cannot go on. This mom needs to give her husband a  serious wakeup call or go to a therapist to talk about division of labor.

Someone nailed it with their comment: “If someone treated me the way your husband does at my job I would quit. I would make sure he knows that.” Exactly!

Before you go, check out these unbelievable stories about Reddit’s worst dads.

Launch Gallery: The Worst Mother-in-Law Horror Stories from Reddit's AITA

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