How The Really, Really Rich Do Disney
While there's nothing quite like the magic of seeing your little one hug Mickey for the first time, or watching the joy wash over your daughter's face when she meets Elsa IRL, a trip to Disney World can also be...a lot. For every elated shriek, there's another hangry cry where that came from (and we're not just referring to your kids). If you ever wondered what it would be like to do the parks without the lines, and the blisters, and the sunburn, here are some benefits to spending your Disney vacay as if money was (literally) no object.
You can skip (most of) the lines.
After waiting for two hours in the Florida steam for a two-minute ride on Space Mountain, you've probably thought to yourself that there's got to be a better way. If you happen to have $425 to $600 an hour to spare, a VIP tour guide clad in tartan will whisk you around the park, leading you to the Fast Pass cue which goes quicker than the regular lines. They'll even tell you the best place to sit if you don't want to get soaked on Frozen Ever After or if Soarin' makes you seasick. They also help you make a swift ride exit through the secret escape door if you decide that the Tower of Terror is too, well, terrifying to go through with after you've committed.
And they'll drive you around between the theme parks.
Getting through three theme parks in just four hours seems completely unfathomable on foot, but when an air-conditioned SUV (stocked with snacks!) is waiting for you as soon as you emerge from It's a Small World to whisk you over to Animal Kingdom, you can get tons accomplished before your toddler has her first temper tantrum. The best part? You get to see behind the curtain, watching the "cast members" shuffle along when they're "off stage" (which is Disney-speak for "not in view of children").
Plus, you get to hear loads of trivia.
If you're a real Disney-phile, you can ask your guide any history questions and they'll have the answer. Fun fact: There's a pickled egg hidden in the Tower of Terror's lobby. It was placed on the set as a prank on one of the ride's engineers who snacked on them during construction. Then it accidentally got shellacked over, earning its permanent place in the waiting area. Your guide will also point out all of the "hidden Mickeys" in the park (when you're there, keep an eye out for those three-circle silhouettes―there are 1,250 at Disney World). They can also direct you to the best adult bevs (the avocado margarita at Epcot is an acquired taste) and tell you where to go to be anointed with pixie dust (Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique and they don't age discriminate, as you can see).
They'll also show you the optimal place to stand for unobstructed pics in front of Cinderella's Castle.
And keep you safe from the crowds during the parades and fireworks.
Besides reserving a private viewing area, you can can also book a yacht to take in the light displays, starting at an additional $400 an hour.
Cost of a private VIP tour day: $2,975 to $4,200 +
*Minimum of 7 hours for up to 10 guests; prices vary based on season. This doesn't include theme park admission (the price of a one-day adult park hopper starts at around $180), but it does include a sweet treat from Mickey.
You can be napping in a poolside-cabana within 10 minutes.
If you stay at the Four Seasons Orlando, complete with its own waterpark, you can direct the kids to the lazy river while you enjoy a margarita.
Cost: Roughly $800/night for a family of four
Or, better yet, you could live on the property.
At the Golden Oak community you can purchase a home directly on Disney World's Resort. The houses are completely custom-built to your specifications, which means your kids' room could look like this:
Or, like this:
And have whimsical woodland friends right in your front yard.
Cost: Houses start at $2 million
*This includes free private transportation to the Disney parks, access to the members club which offers Disney-themed parties, and special perks like Disney's Extra Magic Hours. It does not include the cost of hosting friends who will use you for your private movie theater, insane pool, and park proximity.
At the end of the day, you can feast like King Triton.
Though it's difficult to save space for dinner after all that Mickey-eared ice cream, if you've got the room (and the resources), you can dine at the chef's table at Victoria & Albert's, where for the price of 31 Shake Shack burgers, you'll be treated to a 10-course meal.
Cost: $250 per person plus $150 per person for optional wine pairing.
Then savor a (much-needed) nightcap in Disney Springs.
This area is basically an oasis for Disney fans who have taken a break from the theme parks. Coming this spring, the highly-anticipated Wine Bar George will be opening. Until then, you can get your wine slushie fix at Amorette's Patisserie. Or, if you're looking for a sultrier vibe (assuming you left the kids at home this time), a beverage at the oh-so-chic Morimoto Asia will certainly satisfy your needs.
Cost: Average of $8 per drink
Possible total cost for the ultimate VIP Disney Day: $5,415
Of course this doesn't include the price of buying a one-of-a-kind goal home at Golden Oak, and is entirely dependent on the season, and how many other couples you can get to split the VIP tour guide cost with. All this said, Disney World is a magical place at any price point, whether you're brown bagging your lunch, or sampling every snack at Epcot. You certainly don't need to spend a ton to experience the unbridled joy that only an embrace from Mickey can provide, but if you do get the chance to spend a day with a VIP guide, it sure does spoil you. So, in the words of our favorite mouse, see ya real soon?
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