What really happens behind the scenes of a five-star hotel?

For me, the moment I look forward to most during a hotel stay is sliding into the crisp, clean and neatly-tucked-in sheets of the bed. It’s a feeling that, try as I might, I’ve never been able to quite replicate at home.

Sure, it’s easy to be lured into the more extravagant details that can boost the room’s status from just another place to lay your head, such as a sexy clawfoot tub or a sun soaked terrace with superb sea views, but if the bed isn’t just right, what really is the point? I know Goldilocks would agree with me on this one.

It was in the spirit of that notion that I set off for The Ampersand, a boutique hotel in South Kensington, where the head of housekeeping Eugenija Temba had agreed to show me what goes on behind the scenes each morning once guests check out. To get a better picture of the hotel as a whole, I’d also be joining head chef Chris Golding’s kitchen brigade.

First up, we took the lift direct to the top floor to start work on one of the five suites. Eugenija quickly rattled off what needs to be done: remove rubbish, strip the beds, make the beds, clean the bathroom, dust, hoover and clean the room, and, finally, place the amenities.

For a basic room, you have 40 minutes, but for a suite like this one, you may need a full 90 minutes to make sure it meets the high standards of a five-star hotel. If there’s lots of room changeovers on one particular day, this can mean a pretty tight schedule in the mornings.

It turns out that making the bed can be done in five minutes if you’re a pro. However, I think during my attempt we clocked in at around 15-20 minutes – and there were two of us. Eugenija says I’ve done well, but as we leave the room I see her signal for the bed to be remade. Room for improvement then!

What are the key tips to take away from Eugenija? Always get on your knees to tuck in the sheets, it’s better for your back and easier to get right on the first go. Fold pillows in half so that they slide in smoothly to the pillowcases. Use your forearms to flatten the pillows before picking them up by the corners to place on the bed for maximum perkiness. Once you’ve placed the duvet on the bed, pull only the top layer of the duvet cover taut and then tuck the whole duvet in – this makes the bed look as neat and as springy as a trampoline as possible.

I also learn that at The Ampersand, they only tuck in the bottom of the duvet and not the sides. This is welcome news to me, as I flashback in my head to hotels where I’ve had to run round the bed untucking the sheets so I don’t feel like I’m strapped down in a sleeping bag at night. The hotel is also keen on providing tailored amenities for guests travelling with children or pets. Think mini bathrobes, tiny slippers, chocolate chip cookies and toys for the former; and doggy beds and bowls for the latter.

Then it was time to head downstairs to the kitchen to meet Chris. In recent years, many chefs have become celebrities in their own right and it’s easy to see why when so many have such big personalities. Chris is no exception. He’s loud, confident and charming.

He tells me how in his job he often feels like a mum, telling his team to clean up after themselves, and I make a mental note to not create too much chaos despite not having a clue what I’m doing in this busy, hot, small space.

First up is a tartare of wild sea trout. Chris lets me take over the slicing up of the fish, which I then mix in a bowl with salt and lemon. The trick to getting the tartare in a perfect circle shape is to press it into a stainless steel ring on the plate with a spoon, starting from the edges and working your way in. The final flourishes involve pouring a beetroot and almond gazpacho round the plate, a drizzle of herb oil and placing a few edible flowers and some rocket leaves.

I’m fully aware that I haven’t been entrusted with making the gazpacho as my skill set probably isn’t up to scratch, but I’m fairly happy with the pretty in pink result. Chris thinks my presentation could do with some work before he’ll let me work on the pass.

Round two is a a Parmesan crusted Shetland cod fillet on a bed of beautiful red, green and orange tomatoes. Adding salt to the tomatoes lets the juices seep out, which just needs a touch of oil to create a dressing that complements the dish perfectly.

I also have time to nip round to the pastry corner and meet pastry chef Sezwin Mascarenhas, who is putting the finishing touches on the science-themed afternoon tea, inspired by the nearby Science Museum.

Sezwin keeps repeating that the key is all in the prep. When an order comes in, he pops the scones in the oven first so that they will be nice and toasty when everything else is ready to go. He plates the bottom layer with savoury items, such as smoked salmon blinis and mini mushroom quiches, and the top layer with sweets. There are chocolate astronauts, prosecco jelly petri dishes, and chocolate mousse balls that look like mini planets. The last thing is some dry ice that’s added when it’s served at the table.

That night, I fall asleep quicker than usual after my full-on day of cooking and cleaning, but I must admit, I’m not sure my bed at home would have been up to Eugenija’s standards.