'What is this providing for my life?': A woman's sobriety journey, where to find mocktails
Have you had one too many Sunday mornings where hangxiety had a tight hold on you? A night spent with your head in the toilet?
Maybe you didn’t party too hard but you’re still considering cutting back for a few weeks.
Whatever your relationship with alcohol is, it might be worth taking a break from mixed drinks and sipping on something a bit more refreshing and a lot less risky, and times like Dry January and Sober October are the perfect opportunities to take sobriety out for a test drive.
Who knows, maybe that bit of curiosity will lead to a permanent lifestyle change. Newark author, mother and wife Meg Geisewite says a period of sober curiosity turned into one of the best life decisions she has ever made.
'What is this providing for my life?’
Geiswite, who has been sober since Nov. 1, 2019, didn’t want to break up with drinking when she first took a break from alcohol.
Although she wasn’t battling addiction, she got to a point where she was “sick and tired” of how alcohol was affecting her and was sober curious, searching for ways to become a “normal drinker” again.
After joining a program called Sober Sis, she became more and more skeptical about her interactions with alcohol and what it was doing to her body and her life.
“I learned the truth of what alcohol was: that it’s a highly addictive depressant. And I started to question myself: ‘Why am I using a depressant to celebrate?’” she said. “I was kind of blown away. I started digging into the science and there were more and more studies of the effects of alcohol damaging our sleep, damaging our brain, impacting our gut.”
Most American adults aren’t aware of the connection between cancer and alcohol consumption, and this lack of awareness fuels misconceptions about alcohol use, despite alcoholic drinks containing ethanol, a known carcinogen, according to the National Cancer Institute.
While tobacco use and related anti-tobacco campaigns have led to 93% of the population of the United States being aware of the cancer risk of tobacco, the lack of education surrounding alcohol use has led to only 39% of the public knowing about alcohol’s risks.
According to the American Cancer Society, alcohol accounts for about 6% of all cancers and 4% of all cancer deaths in the United States. Mouth, throat, voice box, esophagus, colon and rectum, liver and breast cancer have all been linked to alcohol use, which is thought to affect the risk of other cancers, too.
With a background in pharmaceutical sales, Geiswite continued down the science rabbit hole and eventually decided to cut out alcohol for 60 days, which eventually turned into 90 days.
Soon enough, she realized that without alcohol she had more patience with her children, had clearer interactions at work, felt more present in her personal relationships and no longer had that ever-present brain fog. Her skin and eczema cleared up and her sleep had even improved.
“It was really around the 100-day mark for me that things really started to shift in my brain, where my brain started rewiring itself and saying: ‘Why do we want this?’ ‘What is this providing for my life? And I couldn’t find really any reason to go back. I was having fun without it.”
Geisewite felt like her intuition was heightened as well, and it also made room for her to fulfill her dream of becoming a writer. Feeling empowered by her sobriety, she wrote a book about her journey, "Intoxicating Lies: One Woman’s Journey to Freedom from Gray Area Drinking,'' that went on to sell out a couple days after debuting in January of 2023 and won first place for memoir with the Delaware Press Association 2023 Communications Contest.
“It really does take a lot longer than 30 days for your body to heal after it’s been drinking for years, maybe even decades, to truly see the difference of what it can do in your life,” she said. “Your brain has to rewire itself to just saying: ‘I no longer want this.’ ”
Gray area drinking
Although it sounds like a simple life change for someone who wasn’t consumed by their alcohol use, it wasn’t an easy journey.
In Geisewite’s experience, sobriety at first felt like “going against the masses,” especially in a society that highlights sobriety stemming from extreme cases of alcohol misuse but keeps quiet about the negative impacts of gray area drinking, the consumption of alcohol between moderate and risk drinking that, according to the National Library of Medicine, has been associated with “small but significantly increased risks” of prevalent and incident alcohol dependence, prevalent job loss and incident alcohol-related interpersonal problems.
“I feel like very often what is portrayed in the media is rock-bottom stories where people are getting DUIs, going to jail, their job is in throes ... I didn’t have any of that,” she said.
She was winning awards at work, her marriage was great, her kids were doing well and from the outside, she looked like she had it all together. On the inside, Geisewite felt like she was stuck in “mommy wine culture,” always deserving a glass of wine after a hard day’s work or a stressful night with the kids.
But once a few big personal events occurred one after another, her daily glass of relaxing wine turned into two or three, becoming more medicinal instead of recreational, she said.
Still, compared to those rock-bottom stories she’d hear about, and her own therapist and loved ones telling her she didn’t drink more than anyone else and was just thinking about the situation too much, Geisewite was battling the culture of gray area drinking, attempting to break through and listen to her intuition that was telling her: “This is not serving us. We need to do something about this.”
“You’ll always find somebody who drinks more or less than you. I think what’s so important about Dry January is getting curious and seeing what it feels like to not have alcohol in your body for an extended period of time,” she said. “It’s been one of the greatest awakenings to my life to stepping into my fullest potential, and I feel like my alcohol-free journey has been an absolute gift.”
'It’s this othering feeling’
Geisewite credits sheer willpower for getting her through the initial hump of sobriety in 2019, but even then, the road to becoming completely alcohol-free was still bumpy. She applauds the availability of all the nonalcoholic beverages on the market, mocktails in restaurants and alcohol-free events nowadays, and society for become more inclusive of the sober community and creating spaces where they can avoid feeling ostracized, a feeling she knows all too well.
Geisewite recalls being at a national sales meeting where she asked a bartender to make her a nonalcoholic mojito, but the bar was ill-prepared and didn’t have any mocktail options. They had to make something up for her on the spot and ring the drink up as a Shirley Temple, embarrassing her in front of her coworkers.
“It’s almost like the music stops in the restaurant and you feel like everyone’s looking at you,” she said. “It’s this othering feeling.
“It’s rare and few between now that that’s happening, and I’m just thrilled to see this inclusion happening at the restaurants and establishments. I feel like it’s such an important way of making people feel included in the festivities.”
Geisewite has attended many weddings in recent years where nonalcoholic options are just as prominent as other bar offerings. At her own parties, she always provides both alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks.
Widespread availability of nonalcoholic beverages eliminates the need for someone to unnecessarily draw attention to their sobriety by having to seek out alternative drink options and lessens the chances of the individual being questioned about or judged for their sobriety, she said.
People asking for nonalcoholic beverages at a bar or social event might be sober due to addiction struggles, but they could also be requesting nonalcoholic options due to pregnancy, certain medications or other health or personal reasons.
“It’s nobody’s business and we may not even want to talk about it,” said Geisewite. “Alcohol is a social lubricant. It’s highly accessible, highly available, and if we don’t have these alternatives and choices for people who aren’t confident or don’t want to speak up, or maybe have a very personal reason that they're choosing to be on this path, it can really feel like you’re outside of that group for so many different reasons.”
Geisewite’s mocktail, nonalcoholic picks
If you’re looking for new nonalcoholic drink options, Geisewite has a few favorites to recommend.
Frank's Wine is her favorite one-stop shop for all nonalcoholic beverage needs, and with a tasting bar inside, it’s easy to find exactly what you’re craving or ask the owner to pick it up for you.
Ritual tequila is her go-to for nonalcoholic margaritas and Kalo is the CBD seltzer she grabs for a post-work moment of relaxation. For beer drinkers, Samual Adams has a nonalcoholic blend called Just The Haze that Geisewite enjoys.
Where to get mocktails in Delaware
Whether you’re testing the waters of sobriety or in it for the long haul, the great thing about mocktails is that they’re enjoyable for everyone.
And no, we’re not talking about the sleepy girl mocktail that has taken over social media in recent weeks. (You know, the alleged sleepy-time concoction made from tart cherry juice, magnesium powder and your favorite seltzer or sparkling water.)
If you are skipping the booze, you can seek out "zero-proof'' bars popping up around the country, including in Philadelphia and South Jersey.
Closer to home, you can check out some of these tasty nonalcoholic beverages you can find around the state.
Chesapeake & Maine, Rehoboth Beach
Two newer additions to Chesapeake & Maine’s nonalcoholic beverage menu are the Salt & Pepper Cup and the Hibiscus Punch mocktail.
The Salt & Pepper Cup pairs cucumber, simple syrup, fresh lime juice and freshly cracked salt and pepper with a nonalcoholic gin.
For a drink with a bit of a punch, the Hibiscus Punch mocktail combines traditional Jamaican punch with fresh ginger, hibiscus flowers and lime juice.
Craving something else? The restaurant’s series of nonalcoholic spirits can be substituted into whichever cocktail you desire.
216 Rehoboth Ave., Rehoboth Beach, (302) 266-3600; www.dogfish.com/restaurants/chesapeake-maine.
Iron Hill Brewery & Restaurant, various locations
Iron Hill Brewery & Restaurant recently announced the permanent addition of nonalcoholic beverages and mocktails to menus at its 21 locations after a limited run of hop water in January of 2023.
Hop water is carbonated water infused with the flavoring of hops, green cone-shaped flowers called “inflorescence.” Unlike beer, hop water is brewed without grains and contains a small amount of yeast.
Their original hop water flavor has a pungent citrus, fruity aroma and the characteristic juicy hops taste. The drink is not sweet or bitter.
Iron Hill also serves the Hop-Jito, a mojito mocktail made with a hop water base. And the brewery offers the Raspberry-Lime, Peach Tea and Blackberry-Lemon options that come with various fruit purées and juices.
Along with that, you can find more new Hop-Tails, mocktails made with hop water, on the menu.
White Grape Basil features hop water, expressed basil, white grapes, lime juice, ginger ale and simply syrup.
Hop Cider combines hop water and apple cider for a cozy seasonal drink, finished with a cinnamon sugar rim.
Hop Lux uses marasca cherries, hop water and Luxardo syrup.
Raspberry Limeade mixes raspberry syrup, hop water and fresh lime juice.
Blackberry Lemon infuses hop water with blackberry syrup and lemonade.
Iron Hill Brewery has Delaware locations in Newark, Rehoboth Beach and Wilmington; www.ironhillbrewery.com.
Eclipse Bistro, Wilmington
Eclipse Bistro (formerly known as Eclipse Restaurant) opened in the fall of 1996 with the mission of offering simple, honest and skillfully executed food. Since then, Eclipse has spread that attitude to its nonalcoholic beverage selection, as more and more patrons seek out mocktail options.
Some of Eclipse’s newer mocktails are the patron-favorite That’s My Jam, made with blueberry syrup, mint, honey and ginger beer, and a nonalcoholic Aperol spritz.
Other no-buzz cocktails offered are Bittersweet Sympathy, made with Dhos nonalcoholic aperitif, grapefruit, lime and agave, and Spill the Tea, a green tea base that is mixed with agave, lime, vanilla extract, blood orange and egg white.
If cocktails aren’t your speed, Eclipse also has a handful of alcohol-free wines and craft beer alternatives.
1020 N. Union St., Wilmington, (302) 658-1588; www.eclipsebistro.com.
Capers & Lemons, Greenville
Italian restaurant Capers & Lemons in Wilmington has a no-buzz cocktail to perfectly complement your meal.
Main Squeeze uses Dhos Gin Free, a personal favorite of the staff, with lemon, Fee Foam and expressed mint to create a nonalcoholic version of the classic sour.
The drink is already a menu favorite, so don’t wait too long before getting your hands on one.
301 Little Falls Drive, Greenville,(302) 256-0524; www.capersandlemons.com/
Grain Craft Bar + Kitchen, various locations
Grain Craft Bar + Kitchen has three zero-proof drinks ready to shake up your next visit to this local bar.
The Strawberry Basil Aide mixes muddled strawberries with lemon, basil, orange, lemonade and club soda. The Berry Blast similarly blends muddled raspberries with blueberries, a simple syrup and club soda. The Peach Guava Tea features brewed iced tea, peach and guava nectar.
Grain has locations across the state, and in Pennsylvania, and these mocktails are available at each location.
Feeling something else? Bartenders at each Grain location can whip up a drink of your own making.
Grain has locations in Bear, Lewes, Newark and Wilmington’s Trolley Square; meetatgrain.com.
Harbour Restaurant, Lewes
Harbour Restaurant at Canal Square in Lewes has a mocktail menu loaded with nonalcoholic cocktails, beers and wines, and their rotating menu currently features three new creations.
Verbena Verbatim sounds like a tongue twister, but it also sounds pretty tasty. The drink features Aplós Arise with agave flower, lemon verbena with hemp adaptogens, Earl Grey tea, fresh lime, vanilla and a lemon twist.
Jungle Bird is described as a whimsical, nonalcoholic take on the Caribbean Painkiller. It includes Ritual rum, Seedlip Spice 74, pineapple juice, DHOS bittersweet lime and Dem Gomme.
The Smoke & Mirrors mocktail sounds cool and has the look to back it up. This drink uses a cherry wood-smoked glass and combines The Pathfinder Hemp & Root, fresh lime, mulled Luxardo cherries and Dem Gomme.
Harbour also carries nonalcoholic beer and wine options.
134 W. Market St., Lewes, (302) 200-9522;harbourlewes.com.
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Le Cavalier, Wilmington
Hotel DuPont’s Le Cavalier in Wilmington serves a few mocktails that are just as tasty as the rest of their French cuisine-studded menu, and new this year is the Pear Spritz.
The Pear Spritz combines fresh orange juice, pear simple syrup, fresh lemon and hibiscus tea over ice before getting topped with sparkling water and garnished with a lemon wheel.
The restaurant’s Pomegranate Mojito is made with house-made grenadine, sparkling water and mint.
The Ginger Highball combines ginger shrub with cucumber, sparkling water and ginger beer. The Chamomile Spritz is a lighter drink made with chamomile syrup, thyme, tonic syrup, lemon and sparkling water.
These cocktails are menu staples and are available anytime.
42 W. 11th St., Wilmington, (302) 594-3154; lecavalierde.com.
Home Grown Café, Newark
Home Grown Café on Newark’s Main Street has expanded its signature inclusive offerings to the drink menu.
Executive chef Andrew Thorne creates seasonal nonalcoholic drinks fit for any of your spirits-free cravings, and Home Grown’s other staff members have added their own concoctions to the mix, too.
The Ginger Fox is made with Earl grey tea; ginger simple syrup; lemon juice; egg white; and Seedlip Spice 94, a warm blend of allspice and cardamom with fresh citrus and a long bitter finish.
Violet Turning Violet is also made with Seedlip Spice 94, along with grapefruit juice, Babas Brew Flower Power kombucha, blueberry rose water purée, blueberries and a grapefruit twist.
Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing is made with Lyre’s Italian Orange, egg white, lemon juice and orange marmalade.
126 E. Main St., Newark, (302) 266-6993; homegrowncafe.com.
The Sugar Factory, Dover Downs
The Sugar Factory at Dover Downs is known for its extravagant cocktails, and most of those offerings can be made nonalcoholic upon request. And don’t worry, they’re still as over-the-top without the extra kick of alcohol.
The West Coast Sunset, designed by Kendall Jenner, is a fan-favorite drink that’s a twist on a classic: Grand Marnier, peach and orange are blended together and topped off with crisp lemonade and a grenadine floater. The drink is garnished with orange wheels and gummy flamingoes. The nonalcoholic version comes without Grand Marnier.
Other popular mocktails include the Watermelon Patch; the Candy Shop, designed by rapper 50 Cent; and the Twisted Heart Peach Lemonade, designed by comedian Kevin Hart.
50 Cent’s sweet and smoking Candy Shop uses peaches, pineapple juice and orange juice and is topped with gummy peach slices, peach rings and gummy soda bottles, a concoction bound to leave you feeling like it’s your birthday.
The Watermelon Patch uses a blend of watermelon, lemon and citrus soda and is topped with a mountain of gummy sour watermelon slices.
The Twisted Hart Peach Lemonade is made with peaches and homemade lemonade. It is garnished with twisted unicorn lollipop straws and peach hearts.
1131 N. Du Pont Highway, Dover, (302) 857-3252; sugarfactory.com/location/dover-downs.
Got a tip or a story idea? Contact Krys'tal Griffin at kgriffin@delawareonline.com.
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This article originally appeared on Delaware News Journal: Dry January guide to not drinking, finding mocktails in Delaware
