Professional wedding singer explains why eloping is the ‘biggest wedding flex’: ‘This is about the relationship and union, not the party’

Loren Rosko (@lorenrosko), a professional wedding singer, recently posted a video on TikTok explaining why she believes eloping is the “biggest flex” to make when getting married.

Eloping, which is traditionally known as the act of getting married without the knowledge of the couple’s friends and family, is a popular trend when it comes to marriage. According to a 2022 Helzberg Diamonds survey of over 1,000 U.S.-based couples who are currently engaged, 62% of them are open to an elopement-style wedding, with that figure rising to 69% among females.

“Eloping is the biggest flex in the world,” Rosko says in an Oct. 19 post. “It’s giving ‘This is about the relationship and the union, not the party.’”

Rosko explained that the viral weddings many people see on TikTok and other social media platforms are often over $100,000 and that she was personally given a $16,000 quote by a photographer.

“If a wedding is going to be a financial burden to you and your husband or your parents, or planning it will be an emotional burden, just listen up,” Rosko says. “Nobody gives a flying f*** about your napkins, about your silverware, about your flowers, about your champagne towers. No one actually cares.”

In The Know by Yahoo spoke to Caitlyn Jennings, Founder of Wilder West Elopements, in order to get a more in depth look at this form of marriage.

“The cost of elopements has a huge range,” Jennings said in an interview “It can be as simple as just the price of a marriage license (typically between 50-100 depending on the state) and up to 20,000 [dollars] if the couple wants to invest in the experience!! On average our couples spend $10,000.”

Jennings also wanted to dispel frequent assumptions about what elopements actually are.

“The most common misconception about eloping is that it’s just running off to Vegas or the courthouse,” she said. “Of course there are elopements like that, but in recent years people have discovered that eloping can be very intentional and personalized to each couple. Their elopement days are just as important to them as a big wedding day would be!”

Jennings also said that she works with a wide variety of people, but the connecting thread is that they are more connected to spending money on experiences rather than a big wedding — and the significant amount of savings gives them the ability to do that.

The average cost of weddings in the United States is $29,000 dollars and can be even more expensive in bigger cities, CNN reported based on findings from Zola, an online wedding planning site.

“A wedding in the Big Apple is expected to cost about $43,536, followed by San Francisco-Oakland-San Jose ($37,284), Boston ($35,902), Philadelphia ($34,111), Miami-Ft. Lauderdale ($33,622), Washington, DC ($33,199), Chicago ($32,281) and Los Angeles ($30,712),” CNN reported on the findings.

The report also claimed that the average guest list was between 130 and 150 invitees. With the rising costs of weddings, eloping, micro weddings and other forms of martial downsizing are in right now.

According to a study, San Francisco has the most expensive microweddings ($16,833.64), but still can save over $20,000 dollars on average.

On top of the ability to save money, many people enjoyed the idea of eloping because of how easy in can make the marriage process.

Danielle Sullivan Lauver, who shared that she and her husband eloped in Paris, France in the comments of Rosko’s post, spoke with ITK to expand on her story.

“I was just slow to come around on the idea of marriage,” she said in an interview. “I felt that being in our thirties and already having kids, it would be silly to do a big wedding and I also just wanted it to be more about us and not some big production for everyone else.”

Her and her husband officially married on February 22, 2022 in front of their parents and children, flying to Paris the next day for their honeymoon.

“It was awesome and I’m so glad we did it that way. It was low stress and I felt like we were really able to enjoy it and be in the moment,” she said.

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