Presenting: A Comprehensive Timeline of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee’s Entire Relationship

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Pam & Tommy’s Relationship Timeline Is a Wild RideSteve Granitz - Getty Images
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Following the release of Pamela Anderson's beautiful new Netflix doc, Pamela, a Love Story, you may think you've got Pam and her ex-husband Tommy Lee's 'ship fully down...but lemme tell ya, it's just the beginning. After tons of research (i.e. looking at everything from celeb tabloids from the '90s to literal court documents), here's absolutely everything you need to know about these two—beginning from their first kiss on New Year's Eve to co-parenting their kids. Let's get into it!

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But first: A testament to the fact that these two were true fashion icons together:

24th annual american music awards
Michael Ochs Archives - Getty Images

December 31, 1994

Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson met for the first time! The year? 1994. The place? Sanctuary club on Hollywood's Sunset Strip. The day? New Year's Eve. According to Tommy Lee's memoir Tommyland, “I went out with some of my best bros to a club…Suddenly, a waitress came over and said, 'Tommy, here’s a shot of Goldschläger. It’s for you, from Pamela Anderson.' I pushed my way into [her] booth, slid over her girlfriends' laps and forced myself a space right next to her. Then I grabbed her face and just licked the side of it, from chin to temple.” Très romantique!

The drummer added, “She was so beautiful, I couldn’t even bring myself to think of defiling her with thoughts of lust. I just stared at her all night, and she just stared back.” However, the duo's first night together apparently ended when Tommy walked the actor to her friend's car, asked for her phone number, and kissed her goodnight 🥺❤️.

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February 1995

Ah, the first date! Per Pam's documentary, Pamela, a Love Story, the two spent a number of weeks speaking before the actor finally agreed to hang out...but here's where things got interesting. Pamela had to leave for Cancun, so once Tommy “found out I was at a photoshoot down there...he followed me down,” she confessed to Larry King in 2002. “The first thing he said to me was 'I'm going to marry you.' And I said, 'What, no one's ever said that to me in a first sentence.'”

pamela anderson and tommy lee hugging
Steven D Starr - Getty Images

February 18, 1995

Just three days into the Cancun trip, Tommy low-key (read: high-key) fell hard and popped the question. “That night at a disco called La Boom, I took off my pinky ring, put it on her finger and asked her to marry me,” he said in his band’s 2001 memoir, The Dirt. “She said yes, hugged me, and stuck her tongue down my throat.”

February 19, 1995

Because the theme is clearly spontaneity, Pam and Tommy got married the very next day on a beach in Cancun! “We asked the hotel to find someone to perform a marriage ceremony. We gave blood, sniffed out a marriage license, and were on the beach getting married before the day was over,” wrote Tommy in The Dirt.

pam anderson tommy lee on honeymoon
Getty Images

Summer 1995

The pair took a five-day houseboat trip to Lake Mead shortly after their wedding to celebrate their honeymoon. Sadly, what should have been a special couple of days between the two wound up being turned on its head, since it was during this trip that they filmed the intimate videos later stolen from them and published without permission.

October 1995

Pam and Tommy were robbed by Rand Gauthier, a scorned electrician who had been fired from a renovation project at the couple's home together. Rand would later go on to tell Rolling Stone in 2014 that he was looking to get “revenge” on Tommy Lee by stealing a safe he'd initially believed contained guns and jewelry.

However hindsight is truly 20/20, and we now know how the rest went down: Rand capitalized on the sex tape footage he found from Pam and Tommy's honeymoon, sold it, and was never charged with a crime in connection with the tape.

March 1996

The couple tried to stop the distribution of their videos with a lawsuit against a Penthouse publisher, who, at the time, was in possession of pretty much everything. However, they ultimately lost the case after a judge ruled the photos were “newsworthy.”

In December 1997, the two settled yet another lawsuit they had against the Internet Entertainment Group for also posting their tapes, per the Los Angeles Times. In a 2015 interview years later with Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen, Pamela said this of the decision: “We made a deal to stop all the shenanigans...I was seven months pregnant with Dylan and thinking it was affecting the pregnancy with the stress and said, 'I'm not going to court anymore. I'm not being deposed anymore by these horny, weird lawyer men. I don't want to talk about my vagina anymore or my public sex—anything.”

May 6, 1996

Pamela and Tommy Lee welcomed their first child, a son they named Brandon Thomas Lee.

November 1996

The Baywatch star filed for divorce from Tommy, per the Los Angeles Times. According to the paper, this action “was soon dropped after Lee reportedly wooed her with romantic gestures that included riding up to their Malibu home atop a white steed.” Meanwhile, I can't even get a text back!

December 1996

Two weeks after issuing the first set of divorce papers, Pamela and Tommy moved back in together. “She's back with her husband and standing by him through his alcohol abuse,” said Pam's publicist said at the time, according to Variety.

December 29, 1997

The couple welcomed their second son, Dylan Jagger Lee, was born in a private setting alongside two midwives and Tommy himself at the couple's Malibu home.

February 24, 1998

The drummer was arrested and charged with felony spousal abuse and child abuse, according to the Los Angeles Times. However, the latter charge was ultimately dropped. Tommy also pleaded no contest to the first charge, was sentenced to six months in jail, and ordered to attend counseling, finish 200 hours of community service, and donate money to anti-domestic violence resources.

At the time Pam's publicist released a statement, including a portion that read, “Pamela intends to vigorously cooperate in the prosecution of her husband and is looking to the district attorney and all other appropriate authorities to protect her and her children.”

During this, the actor also filed divorce papers a second time against Tommy Lee, citing irreconcilable differences. According to the Los Angeles Times, Pam was intent on also restoring her maiden name and obtaining full custody of both Brandon and Dylan.

May 5, 1999

The two shared a kiss at the 1999 World Music Awards in Monte Carlo, where Pam was presenting after Tommy was released from jail.

world music awards evening
Stephane Cardinale - Corbis - Getty Images

September 9, 1999

The couple turned *tons* of heads at the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards, walking the red carpet in 'fits that are still replicated to this day:

pamela anderson attends mtv video music awards in new york city
Evan Agostini - Getty Images


Once again, the duo seemed to have gone their separate ways, with Pam dating Swedish model Marcus Schenkenberg. (They ultimately officially ended things in 2001.)

May 8, 2005

Pam and Tommy seemed to pick things right back up while cheering their son Dylan on at a baseball game in 2005, per People. In an interview just a few months later in August, the drummer gushed, “The boys miss Pam and me together...When we’re together, they’re so happy. At the end of the day, that’s truly what my heart wants. I want us all to be together.”

August 14, 2005

Tommy was featured during Pam's Comedy Central roasting,and joked, “Okay, now for the real reason I came here tonight. To honor my beautiful, talented compassionate, blonde ex-wife. Unfortunately, Heather Locklear couldn't be here tonight.”

comedy central roast of pamela anderson show
Jeff Kravitz - Getty Images

He quickly redeemed himself by the end, saying, “You've always been there for me and your spirit and kindness is an inspiration to me...Like I said 500 thousand times and on that damn sex tape, I f*cking love you, baby.”

June 12, 2008

Despite the couple shutting down rumors they were engaged back in 2005, Tommy dished to Rolling Stone later on that he and Pam were trying to give things another shot. “Pamela and the kids have moved in with me...It's awesome, man. It's definitely working. You can tell on the kids' faces—they're happy when we're together. We've only given it a try 800 times—801, here we go,” he gushed. Sadly, the reunion didn’t last long, and the couple parted ways again in 2010.

September 22, 2015

During an interview with Howard Stern in September 2015, Pamela confessed, “I've never been out of love with Tommy.”

“At the time, it was all this craziness going on, we had all those people following us around, we were married young, married quick, had babies right away.”

September 30, 2015

The two were spotted chatting together at PETA's 35th Anniversary Gala:

peta's 35th anniversary party inside
Todd Williamson - Getty Images
peta's 35th anniversary party inside
Todd Williamson - Getty Images

February 14, 2019

Tommy Lee married social media star Brittany Furlan, whom he began dating back in June 2017.

November 5, 2021

The launch of their eldest child's Local Authority: Swinger's Club fashion collaboration brought Pam and Tommy together alongside the rest of the family at The Webster in Los Angeles.

January 18, 2023

In her new memoir, Love, Pamela, the Baywatch alum shared just how much she felt the sex tape getting leaked contributed to the downfall of her relationship with Tommy. “It ruined lives, starting with our relationship—and it's unforgivable that people, still to this day, think they can profit from such a terrible experience, let alone a crime,” she wrote.

January 25, 2023

Pam discussed her feelings on Tommy and his new wife Brittany Furlan on The Howard Stern Show, saying that though she and her ex “text here and there,” she respects the new union they have on their own (per StyleCaster). “She's good to him and I totally support that and think that's great,” Pam said before adding, “I hate to be annoying and going through this again, I’m sure she’s annoyed, but I respect their relationship and just glad he’s happy and has someone in his life.”

February 5, 2023

TMZ published a report about Pamela and Tommy's communication these days, saying, “Our sources say Pam's most recent text to Tommy was in January, right before her documentary, Pamela, A Love Story, premiered on Netflix. We're told she was expressing heartbreak over their divorce and how she was sorry for hurting Tommy.”

This may or may not have sparked some mini drama with Tommy's new wife Brittany:

And that's pretty much all we know for now!

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