How To Practice an Attitude of Gratitude

Kaitlin Vogel
·11 min read

Refocusing your thoughts by practicing daily gratitude is easier than you think!

Let’s face it, life is not always easy. But there is far more good in the world than there is bad, as long as you know how to look for it. With so many books, articles and podcasts on the topic, it’s no secret that practicing gratitude is essential. But how many of us actually do it? Caught up the stress and anxiety of daily life, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s important and what we’re grateful for.

Being grateful, thankful and appreciative are all factors to bring more good news and positive energy into your life. According to the experts, you can actually rewire your brain to focus on the positive, instead of looking for the negatives in every situation.

The good news is that practicing gratitude doesn’t have to be challenging. In fact, the more you practice it, the more it becomes a habit. In order to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, the first step is understanding why gratitude is important, especially from a mental health perspective.

Related: 50 Easy Ways to Practice Gratitude That’ll Make Your Day Even Better

Why is an attitude of gratitude important?

By making a conscious and continuous effort to focus on what we do have instead of what we don’t have, we can literally rewire our brain to think positively.

“Gratitude is the ability to notice, acknowledge and give thanks for the good parts of any situation, relationship or experience,” says Joyce Marter, LCPC, licensed psychotherapist and author of The Financial Mindset Fix: A Mental Fitness Program for an Abundant Life. “In cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which is one of the most empirically supported approaches in counseling, it is believed that our thoughts precede our emotions and behaviors. The practice of gratitude helps us shift our thinking from the negative to the positive.”

Practicing gratitude improves your emotional, mental and physical health.

“Gratitude is the antidote to a pessimistic, glass-half-full way of living,” says Dr. Carla Marie Manly, clinical psychologist, speaker and author of the upcoming book, Date Smart. “When we focus on the blessings that we do have—rather than what we don’t have—we naturally feel better about ourselves and our lives,”

If you don’t focus on what you’re grateful for, you’ll be left in a state of wanting rather than acceptance. “If we don’t practice gratitude, we often chronically engage in external efforts to ‘find more,’ ‘do more’ or ‘be more.’ This type of negative dynamic creates stress and anxiety that work against physical and psychological health,” Dr. Manly explains. “In essence, ‘living in gratitude’ can boost mood and an overall wellbeing in the short and long term.”

Related: 150 Good Attitude Quotes That'll Help You Get Into a Happier Mindset 

Health benefits of gratitude

At this point, you've probably figured out that gratitude is good for you—but we've outlined the specific health benefits of gratitude below.

Gratitude decreases stress, tension, anxiety and depression

“When we focus on the negative, we fuel stress, anxiety and overwhelm with catastrophic and worst-case scenario thinking,” Marter explains.

Gratitude promotes a sense of inner peace, calm and equanimity

“Equilibrium or balance in your mood, emotional state or temper which can help you to successfully navigate the turbulence of interpersonal conflict and relationship issues so you can consciously respond rather than defensively react,” Marter states

Gratitude improves our relationships

“Instead of eliminating negativity or toxic energy, gratitude helps us be grounded, calm and positive—all characteristics people usually want to be around,” Marter explains. “When we practice gratitude, we can express to our loved ones what we value and appreciate about them, rather than focusing on criticisms or disappointments.”

Gratitude improves sleep

“Switching the focus from distressing thoughts that can impair sleep and cause insomnia will change your mental state,” says Marter. “Choose soothing thoughts that facilitate a sense of safety and security to promote restful sleep.”

Gratitude connects us with our inner joy and bliss

“When we move the clouds of negativity away through gratitude, we can connect with our deepest self, our essence,” Marter explains. “This is where peace and happiness reside.”

Related: 50 Thankful Quotes for Practicing Gratitude All Year Long

How to practice gratitude

Want to actually start practicing gratitude? Here's are expert tips to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

1. Send a handwritten note

Sending a thank you note to someone who has enhanced your life may be a small gesture on your part but it will have a big impact in showing them just how much you appreciate having them in your life, says Hal Urban, author of the book The Power of Good News.

2. Start a gratitude journal

At the end of each day, jot down the events, things and people you’re thankful for, says Urban. Even a less frequent journaling habit can help.“Create a gratitude journal where you list—at least a few times a week—the positive elements in your life. Don’t worry about repeating items. Just let your mind drift into thoughts of your blessings. This practice—particularly the visual and kinesthetic element of writing—can emphasize the gifts that you have in your life,” Dr. Manly explains.

3. Reflect on what you’re grateful for first thing in the morning

“As you wake each morning, reflect on a variety of your blessings before you do anything else,” says Dr. Manly. “There is no better way to start the day than thinking of the gifts in your life.”

4. Pray or meditate

You can also create reflection time throughout the day, says Urban. Depending on your beliefs, try either of these by sitting quietly with your eyes closed and focus on the people, activities and things that add joy to your life.  The more you do this, the more effective it becomes.

5. Give sincere compliments

According to Dr. Nathaniel Ivers from Wake Forest's Department of Counseling, small but meaningful changes can have a big impact on your attitude. He shares that you should let the people to whom you are closest know that you care. Catch them in the act of doing something well and share your genuine appreciation for it by paying them a compliment.

Related: 29 Creative Tips to Maintain a Positive Attitude

6. Look for the good around you throughout an average day

Trying to notice the things you normally take for granted can help cultivate an attitude of gratitude, according to Uban. Notice the warm feeling of the sun on your face, the pretty colors of the flowers.

7. Try positive reframing

“Try to reconsider things in a positive light to help you practice gratitude,” Marter states. “By doing so, it can powerfully transform your thinking.” Lewis notes that you can tell yourself a new story. Didn't get the job you applied for? It doesn't mean you will never get a job or that they thought you were incompetent. Instead, congratulate yourself for applying and realize that they probably had a lot of strong candidates.

8. Become mindful of when you’re thinking negatively.

“Cultivate an attitude of gratitude by ‘noticing’ if you’re being ungrateful or pessimistic and then simply reframe the thought," says Dr. Manly. “For example, if you’re upset that you have a work commute ahead of you, give gratitude for the fact that you have a wonderful job.”

9. Be consistently kind, patient and gracious to those around you

This is probably the best way to consistently show appreciation, according to Urban. Focus on the people in your life who give you joy and support. At times, we can take the people who are closest to us for granted. We may show a great deal of kindness, patience and restraint with coworkers and strangers, while letting our guard down and anger out with friends and family. We can show our appreciation by not taking these close friends and family members for granted through consistently being kind, patient and grateful for their time and essence. “Just reflect on these people and all the reasons you are grateful to have them in your life,” says Dr. Manly.

Related: Gratitude Is Having a Moment: Here’s Why That Matters

11. Get in the habit of telling people that you are grateful for them 

“Whether you send a text, bake and deliver a batch of ‘gratitude cookies,’ or write a heartfelt note of gratitude, your expression of gratitude will boost the receiver’s mood and your own,” Dr. Manly explains.

12. Be specific

Instead of just saying you’re grateful for your friend, say you're grateful that your friend brings you lunch every time you get sick, recommends Jacqueline Lewis, founder of the World Gratitude Map.

13. Challenge yourself to go 24 hours without complaining

The inverse of just focusing on the positive, this tip for cultivating an attitude of gratitude asks you to find those moments in your life when you're focused on something negative and practice reframing it, or simply refrain from expressing it, says Urban.

14. Put a short quote or message about gratitude on your nightstand

Read your note or positive affirmation just before you turn off the lights. Read it again when you wake up in the morning, advises Urban. “As you go to sleep each evening, ponder your blessings rather than a to-do list for tomorrow. Thinking of your blessings as you nod off sets the stage for a solid night of sleep,” says Dr. Manly.

15. Make time for people

Pick up the phone and give them a call, says Dr. Ivers. Schedule an activity and follow through with it. The things that occupy our time are understandably perceived as the things that we value most.

Related: 30+ Ways to Change Your Life

16. Take a walk through your home

Take a page out of the mindfulness movement and live in the here and now, in the present. Urban recommends looking at everything in each room. Aren’t you thankful you have these things? Reflect on your gratitude for what you have in your life as you enjoy your home.

17. Be happy for small things

Appreciating the small things, like that my coffee is strong and delicious and making my morning seem doable, helps maintain an attitude of gratitude notes Lewis. Or, for example, noticing and being grateful that I made every green light on my way home.

18. Be honest, trustworthy, and authentic

Appreciation toward others can be exhibited by bringing your authentic, honest self to your relationships, notes Dr. Ivers.

Related: 'Toxic Positivity' Is Harmful to Our Mental Health—Here's What It Is, and What to Do About It

19. Carry a pocket reminder

It can be a coin or stone with a message of thankfulness on it, but just make it something easy to carry, says Urban. Look at it throughout the day and remember to live from a place of gratitude in that moment.

20. Thank at least one person a day

Lewis recommends reaching out and thank a friend, family member, teacher or colleague for a recent (or long ago) kindness. It can be a short and sweet email or text.

21. Do random acts of service

Especially on days that are not necessarily designated for it, focusing outward on others can help cultivate an attitude of gratitude, shares Urban. It is meaningful to serve and celebrate people on days like Mother’s Day, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or birthdays. But it can be more meaningful to do random acts of service on days that are not designated for those purposes.

23. Connect with people who make you feel great

Gratitude, like confidence, is contagious, shares Lewis. Choose to spend time with people who consistently see the best in you. Surround yourself with confident, can-do, positive people.

24. Step away from the social media

Don't believe the hype you see online, recommends Lewis. People's curated versions of their lives online may leave you feeling wistful or deprived. Put down your phone, stop looking at social media, and start counting your blessings on your fingers.

25. Get physical

Exercise makes us stronger, more confident, improves our mood and bolsters our immune system. Exercise even impacts our mental health. By adding cardio or even walking into your day, you can leave yourself in a more grateful state of mind, according to Lewis.

Next, why gratitude matters.

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