Pornaments Let You Slip Something Sexy On Your Tree This Holiday Season
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It used to be that the sexiest thing about Christmas was a sultry serenade of “Santa Baby,” a potentially steamy stocking stuffer or maybe a post-Holiday party rendezvous if you didn’t go too hard on the eggnog. Now, there’s a new way to spice up your holiday decor, NSFW-style: Pornaments.
Okay, so maybe it’s not a front of the tree fixture or something you’ll keep out when your parents or in-laws visit, but these cheeky, hilarious ornaments may be the perfect hilarious fit for sex geeks, kinksters or your more sexually adventurous pals with the right acquired taste.
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Fresh out of the box, I'm ready to ride.
A post shared by Pornaments (@po.rnaments) on Nov 5, 2019 at 5:30pm PST
Available only through their website, these hand-painted ornaments are about 7-8 inches tall and 2-3 inches wide. They encourage folks to pre-order since they only do one production run per year — and ordering in advance guarantees that your pick of a pornament actually makes it to you.
Whether you want something phallic (a pin-up girl saddled up to a candy cane dick or a little penis cowboy) something raunchy (like this snowman couple having a romp) or something more subtle and suggestive (like a leather-daddy Santa with a well-placed package), there are plenty of options for gag gifts or a sweet something for your significant other.
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