Pop Star Reveals She Contemplated Suicide After Nude Photos Leaked

Madison Beer details the difficult experience in her new memoir, 'The Half of It.'

Madison Beer is opening up about a painful experience from early on in her career, which she says left her questioning her will to live.

The "Reckless" songstress looks back on the difficult time in her life in her upcoming memoir, The Half of It, in which she describes a series of events that caused her to contemplate suicide at age 16.

In an excerpt of the book obtained by PEOPLE, Beer, now 24, writes about her nude photos being leaked online and parting ways with her manager and record label, both of which caused her to go down a dark path.

"While negotiating the details of going independent was rocky, the emotional turmoil of being dropped was harder to work through. It wasn't just a bump in my career—it was a hit to my personal life, too," Beer writes in her pages. "Coupled with the trauma of having my nudes leaked, it completely shattered the image I had of Los Angeles and the industry. These two big, life-altering events happening back to back knocked me off my feet, tilted my world on its axis, and left me feeling like I had no idea who I was. I didn't know who I could trust anymore, and I didn't even know I needed to seek help for the way I was feeling."

"It was a lot of conflicting emotions for a newly sixteen-year-old girl to try to shoulder on her own," the excerpt continues. "I felt like I was my own worst enemy. I retreated more and more into myself, and it was the beginning of some of the darkest years of my life, starting at age sixteen and following me into my twenties."

She then explains that the night her nudes were leaked she immediately "felt backed into a corner," and thought her only escape would be to end her life.

"Once, on a particularly heavy day, I climbed over the edge of my balcony in LA and stood there, a million thoughts running through my head as I stared down at the ground, my eyes going in and out of focus," she recalls. "I don't think I would have jumped. It was more about knowing that I could—that I had a way out if it became too much. Still, I lingered there for a long while, chilled by the fact that I wasn't all that scared of being up so high.

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She goes on to reveal that her younger brother found her on the balcony and screamed for their parents, though Beer wasn't so sure why it was considered to be a big deal.

"The thought of killing myself was so normal to me at that point that I had forgotten it wasn't something everyone pondered on a daily basis," she adds, noting that starting over in her career didn't make the situation any easier.

"Not only was I starting over, but it felt like I was buried six feet under—like I had to dig myself back up to the surface first, and only then would I have a shot at a dream." she explains. "I was well into my teenage years and plagued with insecurity, shouldering years of negative comments that made me believe I wasn't good enough to be taken seriously."

Beer writes that this experience caused her to "rebrand" herself, entering back into the music industry in a fresh, new way, with her EP As She Pleases, and though it "took years" before she considered herself a successful songwriter, Beer says she was "actually putting out music I was proud of. After bending myself to other people's wills for so many years, I was doing as I pleased, slowly discovering myself and my own sound independent of outside opinion."

She adds, "I had a long road ahead, but I was taking steps in the right direction. A direction that felt bright."

The Half of It is scheduled to hit bookshelves on April 25.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or visit 988lifeline.org.