New Poll Shows Most Parents are Turning to Social Media for Advice

Social media is a hub of information—but not all of it is good when it comes to giving parents advice.

Fact checked by Sarah Scott

Not too long ago, people bought or checked out parenting books to learn more about different strategies, from potty training and sleep issues to discipline.

Nowadays, parents don’t need to head to a bookstore or library—they have access to parenting tips and tricks in their hands thanks to social media. A new survey sheds light on how many people take advantage of parenting in the digital age.

According to C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, 80% of parents with children ages 0-4 used social media to discuss parenting topics. Mothers are more likely to use social media for parenting advice or information than fathers (84% vs. 69%). The most common reasons parents turn to social media include toilet training (44%), child sleep issues (42%), nutrition/lactation (37%), and discipline (37%).

Experts aren’t that surprised.

“I think this data reflects what we’ve seen over the past few years,” says Titania Jordan, the chief parenting officer of Bark, a parental control app that allows parents to manage their kids’ digital worlds. “Parents are reaching out more and more for advice on social media for three main reasons: Convenience, new technology, and different ways of parenting.”

Still, Jordan has concerns.

“It’s not all roses,” Jordan says. “There is a ton of misinformation out there, and just because another parent is talking about something, it doesn’t mean they’re knowledgeable.”

Jordan and others also recommend that parents exercise caution when seeking advice, particularly regarding posting photos. How can parents navigate the digital space—taking advantage of the good and avoiding the risk? It isn’t easy, but experts shared tips for finding a balance.

Why Parents are Turning to Social Media

According to the poll, respondents rated social media as “very useful” for finding new ideas (44%), feeling less alone (37%), learning what not to do (33%), product purchasing decisions (25%), and worrying less (16%).

Jordan and a pair of mental health experts offer us more context on the data.

It's a natural progression

Social media is baked into our day-to-day lives, from a way to keep in touch with friends to finding recipes. It’s natural parenting would follow suit.

“Social media has fundamentally transformed how we communicate, share information, and interact,” says Adrine Davtyan, LCSW. “It has also changed the way we form opinions and consume information.”

Social media is convenient and private (sort of)

Social media can involve publicly posting photos of a child. However, searching Facebook groups and scrolling Instagram and TikTok are passive, easily accessible, and private.

“This can be very convenient and a positive source of information, especially since many parents experience a sense of shame for not knowing how to handle certain things,” says Zishan Khan, MD, a psychiatrist with Mindpath Health. “At times, there can be concerns about being judged when seeking advice from family members or friends.”

It takes a village (that modern parents don’t always have)

It truly takes a village to help raise a family, but that's not something everyone has. Some research shows the number of families living in multi-generational households rose from 12% in 1980 to 20% in 2016. But that number is relatively low.

Other statistics from Pew Research Center show that only 16% of Americans feel “very attached” to communities. These isolated feelings can extend to parents, who once relied on family members and neighbors to shoulder the load of child-rearing.

“Our parents and grandparents can be beneficial, but they are often not readily available and may live in different parts of the country,” Dr. Khan says. “It is much easier to open social media and quickly search than to call someone over the phone, especially nowadays when many prefer to text over speaking directly.”

Parenting styles have changed

Even if a parent does have access to help from family, they may be hesitant. Parenting styles have changed over the years, with timeouts seemingly going out of vogue in favor of “gentler” methods. And the world has changed—parents today are raising children affected by online bullying, for instance. It’s likely not something a child’s grandparents had to navigate.

“All of the new technology and circumstances facing our kids present novel dangers that our parents just didn’t have to deal with,” Jordan says. “Because of this, their advice is less apt to be helpful and, at worst, entirely wrong.”

Finding similar parenting styles

Social media has opened the door to connecting and feeling at home with like-minded parents you can’t find offline.

“There are so many different ways to parent,” Jordan says. “This has always been a thing, but it was harder to really see [before social media]. With the advent of social media, caregivers can really hone in on the ways that resonate with them, be it small Facebook groups, niche TikTok creators, and more. This is generally a good thing.”

How to Safely Find and Seek Parenting Advice and Ideas on Social Media

Experts have concerns about using social media for parenting advice and ideas. But so do parents. According to the Mott survey, some are trying to take action by using privacy settings to restrict who can see posts (57%) and keeping photos and videos of their kids offline (30%). About one-third (31%) reported not discussing their child on social media—full stop.

Experts say that boundaries are critical for safety, parental mental health, and respect for a child’s digital footprint. Here’s how to set them.

Practice what you preach (or will preach)

Jordan pointed out an interesting conundrum: Parents will likely tell their children to be careful about posting photos on social media when they give them access to phones and platforms.

“But for some kids, their parents have already posted content about them online that could follow them around forever,” Jordan says. “This could cause anxiety, embarrassment, and even shame. It’s important to remember that kids can’t give consent to the things you’re sharing about them.”

Take a beat and think about your child’s feelings now—and in the future—first. If in doubt, don’t post it.

Be careful of health-related questions

Spend time in a parent group, and you’ll see tons of rash-related questions. The questions come from a concerned and well-meaning place and often happen after hours when doctors aren’t readily available. Parents want to ease their worries and ensure their child is OK. Jordan recommends taking a few precautions if you’re going to post a rash or health-related question with a photo.

“Don’t show their entire face,” Jordan says. “Second, if it’s near private parts, crop it considerably, or consider not posting it at all. Third, keep your description short and to the point—there’s no reason to get into emotional details or anything embarrassing.”

Check your privacy settings

Jordan recommends looking at yourself as others see you on social media.

“Review your profile as the public and friends of friends,” Jordan says. “If someone can click on your profile photo and find other pictures of your children and personally identifiable information, that’s less than ideal. Even worse, if your profile photo is your kids, that’s something you might want to rethink.”

Consider the source

In news that won’t shock you, not all advice is good advice (this is also true offline).

Davtyan says it’s important to ask yourself a few questions before taking advice from the person, such as looking to see if the person has a reputable background. Mental health professionals may have “MD,” “PhD,” “PsyD,” or “LCSW” credentials. International board-certified lactation consultants are IBCLCs. Medical have MD or DO.

“You also want to consider their content quality, as well as consistency,” Davtyan says. “What is most important is being mindful that the information you are receiving does not mean it may apply to you. Cross-referencing information can be helpful to ultimately determine if the source is a good one for you.”

Audit your feed

More than three-quarters (77%) of parents feel others overshare by bragging about their child. That’s ultimately subjective, but it can affect a parent mentally.

“A person’s confidence as a parent can take a hit if they are not careful since they may see other parents posting things about their children that make them feel their children are behind or that they have done a poor job,” Dr. Khan says. “Everyone’s situation is unique, and parenting is not ’’one size fits all.’”

The thing is? You can’t control it. You also can’t control an IBCLC posting tiles about the many benefits of nursing or a sleep expert discussing schedules. If these topics trigger, control what you can: Who you follow.

“It is crucial to be aware of your feelings, boundaries, and limitations,” Davtyan says. “It is also important to consider your mental health by unfollowing these accounts or muting profiles that are not resonating with you.”

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