What Is the Point of a Bridal Shower and Do You Still Need to Bring a Gift to One?
A wedding season is full of opportunities to celebrate an engaged couple's love and lifelong commitment to each other. Events like engagement and bachelorette parties bring loved ones together to revel in the excitement. Of these events, the bridal shower is typically the final gathering of the bride's friends and family before the big day arrives.
But what is a bridal shower, exactly? A bridal shower is a party that's traditionally held to "shower" the bride-to-be with gifts and advice for her wedding day and marriage. The shower is a smaller-scale and more casual gathering than the wedding itself, taking place at a restaurant, event space, or someone's home. The mood is lighthearted yet bittersweet, as it may be the last time that most in attendance will be able to offer their well-wishes to the bride-to-be before her wedding day.
If you've been invited to a bridal shower and are not sure how much to spend on a gift or how long it is supposed to last, don't fret. Elements like the setting, guest list, and activities may differ from event to event, but luckily, bridal showers tend to follow a similar format. Here, we're covering everything a guest needs to know about attending a bridal shower.
When does a bridal shower take place?
A bridal shower takes place about 1-2 months before the wedding. This is considered the last chance for friends and family (who are not in the wedding party) to give personal well-wishes to the bride-to-be before her wedding day. Because the weeks and days leading up to a wedding tend to be incredibly busy for a bride-to-be, she may not have the time in her schedule to see many of her loved ones before the big day.
Likewise, the wedding day itself will likely be action-packed as well. While it's proper etiquette for the bride and groom to greet all of their guests before or during the wedding reception, it's possible that you may not get more than a few words with them during this time. This is why attending a bridal shower is important for those who wish to give their personal congratulations to the bride before she gets married.
Who plans (and pays for) a bridal shower?
A bridal shower is typically planned by the mother of the bride, the maid (or matron) of honor, the bridal party, or another close relative or friend of the bride. In all cases, whoever plans and hosts the event often pays for it.
While the bride-to-be does not plan all of the logistics of her bridal shower, she may weigh in on the guest list, location, and any games and activities she does (or does not) want at her shower.
Who is invited to a bridal shower?
The bridal shower guests mainly include the bride's closest friends and family. There may also be guests from her future spouse's side if she is close to them as well, but it's not required. Bridal showers are traditionally women-only events, however, many brides-to-be now prefer a more gender-inclusive guest list. The party planners may also denote in the invitation whether or not guests may bring their children.
It's proper etiquette that all who are invited to a bridal shower are also invited to the wedding. However, it's not required for a guest to attend both the bridal shower and the wedding. If a guest has to decline a wedding invitation, opting to attend the shower instead can be a great alternative. Because the bridal shower is a smaller event, they may be able to spend more quality time with the bride-to-be here than at her wedding reception.
Do you bring a gift to a bridal shower?
Guests are usually expected to bring a bridal shower gift, even if you've already bought the couple a gift from their wedding registry. Luckily, you don't have to spend as much on this present. A "$50-$75 price point" is what Tami Claytor, etiquette coach at Always Appropriate recommends.
Presents given at this event are gifts for the bride-to-be, while wedding gifts are for the couple. Some ideas for bridal shower gifts include personalized jewelry, scented candles, PJs, slippers, or a gift card to a local salon or spa. At a shower, there will typically be a gift table where guests can leave their wrapped presents and cards for the bride-to-be.
What happens at a bridal shower?
Bridal showers may or may not have a strict agenda, depending on the preferences of the bride-to-be and shower host.
Typically, when guests arrive, they'll be greeted by the host, who may take their gift or direct them to the gift table. Guests will usually be encouraged to grab a drink and mingle until the bride-to-be makes her entrance, which usually happens once all the guests have arrived.
Once the bride greets her guests, food will be served. If activities have been planned, all guests may be given activity cards or find them at their seats. During the meal, guests will be encouraged to fill out any cards they have so that the games and activities can start afterward. Bridal shower games are usually lighthearted and not as risqué as bachelorette party games. They may include quizzes of how well guests know the bride and groom, word scrambles, scratch-offs, or "what's in your bag?" contests.
After the activities are over, the bride will traditionally open all of the presents that have been collected on the gift table and personally thank each gift-giver, while the shower host takes note of who gave what — this is to ensure that thank-you cards for the gifts are sent to the correct people. However, some brides now prefer not to open their gifts in front of everyone at the shower.
Other activities at a bridal shower may include music and dancing, traditions from the bride-to-be's cultural heritage, and opportunities for guests to give toasts or share their well-wishes for her wedding day and marriage. Throughout the shower, the bride-to-be should make time to speak one-on-one with each guest in attendance and thank them for coming.
How long does a bridal shower last?
A bridal shower is usually an afternoon event that lasts 3-4 hours. There may be a set end time if the party is held at a restaurant or event space. If the bridal shower takes place at someone's home, it may continue for longer, but generally, it should be over before dinnertime.
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