Photos of his mom at lunch are a balm people didn’t know they needed
The Facebook group Milwaukee Foodie is for discussions of food and restaurants in the area, but last year, Chris Allen began posting photos of his weekly lunch date with his mother.
There is Lee Allen with a full plate of smothered pork chops. Then she’s sitting before steaming chicken curry. Look at her smile with this cheesesteak.
The weekly posts are each adorned with hundreds or thousands of likes and comments from strangers. Some people even share the posts on their own pages. In a world of violent conflicts and widespread angst, people are retreating to small pockets of the internet for bits of respite. This is one of them.
Commenters leave encouraging words: “I love your posts - it makes my entire day every time I see her big ol’ grin!!!”
“You kids rock. Look forward to hearing about your trip every week!!”
“These posts make me feel good, her smile is so wholesome.”
“I think your mom is living the best life man”
Chris Allen did not expect for the photos to be a balm, or for them to strike a nerve to encourage others to take their parents to lunch - but that’s exactly what happened.
Now people often stop him and say: “You’re the guy who takes his mom out to lunch,” Chris Allen said.
“I think that’s a wonderful way to be introduced,” he added about the encounters.
The weekly lunches started in 2022 on a spring afternoon, when Chris Allen took his mother on a special lunch date. They went to a cafe in Milwaukee - she had chili, and he had a tuna melt.
At the time, it was a rare treat.
Although Chris Allen, 56, and his mother, 82, had always been close, they rarely took the time to go for a meal, just the two of them.
“I didn’t realize how nice it would be,” Chris Allen said.
Chris Allen knew his mother rarely left her home - aside from going to church and doctor’s appointments. He decided weekly lunch would be their standing date. His mother adored the idea.
They alternate who picks the restaurant and who pays, and they try a new place each time. When it comes to cuisines, they keep an open mind, though they avoid restaurant chains.
“One of the goals is to support local restaurants,” said Chris Allen, who worked as a youth counselor and prison guard for 25 years before retiring in 2020. In addition to seeing his parents more often, he uses his newfound free time to take his dogs to the park daily, play basketball and spend time with friends. But perhaps his favorite retirement activity is lunch with Mom.
“It’s something to look forward to, and I like looking up the different restaurants and their menu,” said Lee Allen, who retired from teaching early-childhood education at the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee 13 years ago. She now volunteers at a local food pantry and regularly plays canasta.
“We really didn’t have this time together when I was working,” Chris Allen said. “I was so rushed.”
When the Allens go for lunch, they both block off their whole afternoon.
“We sit down, and we have conversations. We are in absolutely no hurry,” Chris Allen said. “It’s very relaxing, not worrying about what time it is.”
“We drive down to Lake Michigan every time, just to see the water,” his mother said. “It’s just a very pleasant time together.”
Chris and Lee Allen haven’t always had an idyllic relationship.
“In my teenage years, I was a handful,” explained Chris Allen, who said he was a troublemaker in high school, which was tough on his mother. When he came back from the Marine Corps in 1991, he and his mother became close and started playing tennis together.
Still, they said, their weekly lunch tradition has by far been their best alone time.
To find new restaurants for them to try, Chris Allen joined the Milwaukee Foodie Facebook group. He had no idea how much the group would embrace him and his mother.
“I always wondered, ‘Who did you eat that with?’ To me, that’s more important than the food,” said Chris Allen, who has one sister in San Francisco. “I don’t want to see a plate of food; I want to see somebody eating the plate of food with a big smile on their face.”
When he started posting photos of his mother on their weekly lunch dates, people responded right away.
“She’s pretty adorable I guess,” said Chris Allen, noting that he usually gets more than 1,000 likes on every post, plus hundreds of comments.
“Her smile just makes my day,” someone wrote on a recent post of Lee Allen enjoying a plate of chicken fried rice and Thai tea.
“These are the best posts ever,” another person commented.
The Allens are tickled by the attention, especially since their story was chronicled in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel in February.
“People are very encouraging,” said Lee Allen, adding that several restaurants have tried to offer them free meals as their posts have gained popularity, though they politely decline.
Beyond giving locals restaurant recommendations, the mother-son duo said they hope their weekly posts inspire people - particularly older parents and adult children - to spend more meaningful time together.
Research has shown that the more often people eat with others, the more likely they are to be happy in their lives. Plus, maintaining tight bonds with family members supports longevity and well-being.
The Allens have received many messages from strangers - some saying their parents have died and they wish they could still take them for lunch, and others saying they’ve reconnected with their parents after seeing the Allens’ weekly posts.
“A lot of people now are taking their parents out,” Lee Allen said.
“That’s exactly what we wanted to happen,” said Chris Allen, adding that he has tried to replicate a similar relationship with his own daughter.
On the Milwaukee Foodie page, member Jessi Nuss, 36, saw several of Chris Allen’s posts and was touched.
“It just swelled my heart and made me so happy,” she said.
When she was out for lunch with her father, Bob Nuss, 76, last month, she decided to post a picture of him in the group.
“Just to keep the happiness going forward, and maybe inspire someone else to take their parent out for lunch,” Jessi Nuss said. Since November, she has taken her father out for lunch at least once a week.
“He was always there for me, and the least I can do is be there for him,” she said. “It’s our bonding time.”
For the Allens, when they are at lunch, they typically talk politics, sports, and updates about family and friends. They said their relationship has changed since their weekly lunches started.
“Yes, I knew him, but I’m finding out more about him,” Lee Allen said. “I’m learning things I never knew.”
Her son has gotten to know her better, too.
“I learned how thoughtful she is and how much she really cares about her friends and other people,” Chris Allen said. “She also taught me things aren’t important; people are.”
The Allens are planning to celebrate Mother’s Day with a lunch date. Chris Allen said he will bring his mom a bouquet of flowers.
When other family members or friends ask to join their lunches, they nicely tell them no. (Though they do bring back leftovers for Lee Allen’s husband.)
“It’s just our time,” Chris Allen said.
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