28 Totally Natural Things That Happen During Sex But Are Treated As "Abnormal" By Society
We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us something normal that happens during sex that's often treated as abnormal. Here are all the refreshingly honest replies.
1.Needing more lubrication.
"Needing lube. Whether it’s just your body type, medications, etc. some people run on the dryer side and that has nothing to do with level of being turned on."
2.Squirting.
"Squirting. Some people think it’s gross since it’s 'just pee.' I guess not a lot of people squirt during sex."
Comedy Central
3.Enjoying whatever sex position you like.
"I always find it weird when people judge what sex positions people like. Like, thinking missionary is 'vanilla and boring' and making fun of it, or taking it from behind can't be intimate. If it’s consensual, who the fuck cares what position(s) you like? Don’t make fun of anyone for it."
4.Queefing.
"Queefing has nothing to do with being gassy and happens all the time."
NBC
5.Giving head.
"I love giving head to a man and it irritates me when other women label you or judge you because you like sucking dick."
6.Women with high libidos.
"Normalize women having higher libidos than men. I’ve yet to meet another guy that can match my high sex drive."
ABC
7.Non-penetrative sex.
"Non-penetrative sex! Many people say that only penetrative sex counts, but sometimes other things could be just as fun, if not more."
8.Good communication.
"Communicating with your partner — and having them say they're not liking something, then changing it up. Unfortunately, communication in sex is shown to be all 'yes' and 'please keep doing that,' whereas sometimes you're like 'can you do this instead' as well!"
ABC
9.Not wanting sex.
"Being asexual and not wanting to have sex. It’s perfectly normal, but I’m constantly treated like a freak."
10.Withdrawing consent without pressure or guilt.
"Withdrawing consent mid-encounter without hurt feelings or emotional blackmailing. There's something to be said for a sexual partner who let's you say 'I'm not really into this right now/anymore,' and their response is positive and validating. Enthusiastic consent should be continuous and mutual, regardless if there is a romantic relationship involved or not. It should be the norm, but definitely isn't always the case unfortunately."
Cartoon Network/Adult Swim
11.Having intimate bonding sex.
"When you just want to have regular sex, but they get angry with you because they always want sex to be like a porno. They think sex is all about themselves, and it no longer becomes an intimate bonding focused around love. Without the intimacy and bonding, you basically become just friends/roommates."
12.Kissing after giving a blowjob.
"Kissing after a BJ. I almost had sex with a guy that refused to kiss me after I went down on him. I said OK, then put my clothes back on and left."
HBO
13.Forgoing anal.
"Not having anal sex very often in a male relationship. My partner and I very seldom do anal because it's inconvenient and requires so much preparation. To us, making each other feel good through other means is better than anal. Social media platforms like Twitter and OnlyFans will make it seem that everyone is doing anal, but they aren't, and that's okay."
—Anonymous
14.When pets stare at you in the bedroom.
"Your cat or dog will find a way to just...stare at you. And then, if you put them out of the room, they will never let you forget it."
15.Incorrect assumptions about sex and size.
"It irritates me when people think that bigger people are lazy lovers. I’ve been with heavier men and was blown away — hell, made me look like the lazy one."
16.Not finishing.
"Not finishing! Some people (like myself) don't always finish and still find it satisfying."
HBO
17.Enjoying kinks and having fetishes.
"Having kinks/fetishes. It's so common. Most people affected don't have a say in finding something attractive and are usually so insecure about it."
—bgbf
18.Using sex toys together.
"Using sex toys together! It can really help get things going, and some partners really enjoy using them on their partner in straight relationships. Dildos and vibrators are collaborators, not competition!"
Lifetime
19.Having sex on your period.
"Period sex!! I was with a guy who refused to have sex while I was on my period. For TWO YEARS. He thought it was beyond disgusting. Come on, dude. I got myself a new man who couldn’t give a fuck about a period. In fact, he knows I’m more sensitive when I’m on my period, so he’s always down to make me orgasm 😂"
—Anonymous
20.Understanding poo might appear during anal.
"Poo sometimes makes an appearance during anal sex. It may not be nice, but it happens, and it’s fine."
—Anonymous
Netflix
21.Getting STI tested regularly.
"Regular STI testing. When having regular casual sex, even protected sex, it’s not abnormal to get tested every month."
22.Communicating clear directions.
"Giving and receiving directions about pace, etc. Just because you’ve had sex before doesn’t mean you know how your partner likes it."
WB
23.Understanding that everyone has off days.
"Sometimes, sex just doesn’t work. Maybe the time of day affects your libido. Maybe your meds get in the way. Maybe you get tired. Or maybe, you or both of you just lose interest halfway through. It happens and it’s normal."
24.Body noises are common and not weird.
"For people who do penetrative butt stuff, butt stuff is going to happen! You might fart, there might be poop — you do your best to prepare, but you know what they say about best-laid plans."
VH1
25.Knowing ADHA can affect sex.
"How ADHD can affect sex. I have ADHD and my symptoms can be like 'I'm bored' while having sex, and it's not my boyfriend's fault. Or with my ADHD, I keep wanting to move around and never feel good with one position."
26.Understanding that not every single sex position will work for you.
"Not every position works for you. In porn, they move from position to the next with no problem. In reality, sometimes you end up in an uncomfortable position and need to stop and change. It’s OK…find what works!"
FX
27.Bringing vibrators to the bedroom.
"I don't know if this is treated as abnormal, but I have had male partners get jealous/intimidated when I wanted to use my vibrator during sex. It’s like, OK, unless your dick can become inhumanly fast and tiny enough to fit on my clit, I’m not gonna cum ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
28.And finally, accepting that any and all sex noises are perfectly normal.
"Noises!! Not just moans and oh gods, but queefing, skin moving against skin, talking about positions and likes and dislikes, laughing, the occasional fart, kissing, and everything in between. Sex doesn’t sound like porn. It is weird and wonderful and noises are completely normal!"
FOX
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Note: Responses edited for length/clarity.
