People Are Sharing The Words Of Wisdom Their Therapist Told Them That Completely Changed Their Life, And There's Something Here For Everyone

Sometimes, it takes just a few wise words to impactfully shift your perspective. And oftentimes, therapists are the ones dishing them out. So, to help spread some wisdom, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to share something their therapist told them that completely changed their mindset. Here are 21 of the most inspiring gems:

1."'Would you criticize a friend like that? No? Then why criticize yourself like that?' This reminded me to be kinder to myself."

2."You're not lazy. You just only have a certain amount of energy. And right now, you're using it all to survive."

—thebonelady

3."Anxiety has a really loud voice, but yours is louder. Say the anxious thought out loud, and if it sounds ridiculous out loud, it's ridiculous in your head."

4."'You're perfectly good just the way you are right now — as in it's good that you want to work on yourself, but you're already a valid person. And that goes for everybody.' I don't think it has fully sunk in yet."

—aliceinautieland

5."'You can't force someone to say sorry no matter how much you think they're in the wrong.' It freed me from a toxic friendship because I realized I didn't want to stay friends with someone who couldn't apologize for hurting someone or causing a misunderstanding."

6."'You'll suffer for as long as you allow yourself to suffer.'"

—Nikki, Florida

7."'Just because you don't understand or agree with how someone is feeling doesn't mean they aren't truly feeling it.' This came from relationship counseling. We were finding the shift in [our] relationship [difficult] after having a child. I couldn't understand how he could say he was tired, needed a break, etc. when I didn't think his life was that different compared to the change in mine."

8."'Know that you cannot fix everything, and that's OK.'"

—meebz2173

9."'Do you have enough evidence to support freaking out?' Nine out of ten times, as a chronic over-thinker, the answer was no. On the off chance it was a yes, her follow-up was, 'Will this level of freak-out help the situation?' Ten out of ten times, the answer was no. Four years later, when I feel my anxiety building over a person, situation, [or] task, I ask myself this. Now, I never even get to the second question."

10."'Don't set yourself on fire just to keep others warm.'"

—emlenz5

11."I tend to be a people pleaser and give to my friends to the exclusion of caring for myself. My therapist encouraged me to set boundaries and take time for myself, but that felt selfish to me — especially if a friend needs me. My therapist then explained it in a way that changed my mindset: Everyone has a social battery, and there is only so much energy to give before the battery is drained and you have to recharge. Rather than thinking about it from a 'me' aspect, she encouraged me to think about it logically. When the battery is empty, you have to recharge it by doing things that give you energy (whether that's being alone, going for a walk, creating something, etc.)."

12."I had a miscarriage, and a week later, my sister-in-law announced she was pregnant. I was devastated. Throughout her entire pregnancy, I found it difficult to celebrate with them. Whenever I got anxious and depressed about attending a gender reveal [or] baby shower, my therapist encouraged me to find the element of the party that was stronger than grief or anxiety and to hold on to that during the tough moments. Most of the time, the stronger thing was the love I had for my sister-in-law and the excitement I felt that my child would finally have a cousin."

—Anonymous

13."'It's OK to put yourself first. The people that matter the most and care about you the most will understand.'"

14."That holding on to anger toward someone else is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

—Jess, Canada

15."I was stuck in an abusive relationship for four years, desperately trying to do anything I could to be a better partner. My therapist finally asked, 'What is your partner doing to be better? Why has all the responsibility fallen to you?' It helped to open my eyes to what was going on and that I had to get out. I'm happy to report that I managed to do it, and I'm in a much better place."

16."Comparing pain or trauma just makes everyone feel worse. Never invalidate what someone is feeling because you had it worse or someone else has/had it worse. Someone's worst day of their life is still the worst day of their life — even if your worst day is worse than theirs."

—Anonymous, Hawaii

17."We were talking about all these different problems that were stressing me out, ranging from, 'How am I going to go to sleep tonight because of my nightmares?' to 'What things do I have to take care of in two weeks?' While I was telling my therapist about my stressors, she gave me the best advice that I still use today: There are alligators close to the boat that have to be taken care of first. When I asked her what she meant, she told me I shouldn't worry about next week's problems when I have current issues I need to work through first. Today's problems can be handled today, while tomorrow's stressors can be fixed later."

18."'No' is a complete sentence. I was always justifying or qualifying why I couldn't do something because I didn't want the other person to be upset or disappointed with me. Once I set boundaries to keep myself comfortable and not take on too much, my stress levels decreased dramatically."

—Anonymous, Pennsylvania

19."'Today, I am enough.' It's a mantra of sorts. She taught me to say it to myself when the anxiety became overwhelming. It took the pressure off being OK in the future and shifted it to just being OK in the present. I've had many years now where today I am enough."

20."If you want to be someone you've never been, then you'll have to do something you've never done. That combined with the standard internet wisdom of 'it's OK to be scared, just do it anyway' got me started on a bunch of life changes that really helped."

—Anonymous, Illinois

21."Mostly good things actually happen. I've been through quite a bit of trauma and had a mindset of, 'Life is scary, and only bad things happen to me.' But my therapist helped me by pointing out that while these traumatic events seemed eclipsing, most of the 365 days in a year were actually OK, and that I should start paying attention to the OK days more. It's totally changed my mindset."

Did any of these resonate with you? What life-changing advice did you learn in therapy? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.