15 People Shared The Bizarre And Wild Experiences They've Had On Cruises, And It Might Be A No From Me Dawg

Every summer, my social media starts to become a promotional center for cruises. From the drink packages to all of the delicious food and the amazing shows, I'm always so enamored by how much fun there is to be had on a gigantic boat floating on the high seas.

a group of people dancing on a cruise

So, as summer comes to a close, I thought I could live vicariously through all of the cruise vacationers. I asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell me the wildest experience they've seen or had on a cruise, and they did not disappoint:

1."I went on a bachelorette cruise over a decade ago with about 15 girls. Best. Trip. Ever. While there, I met the singer that would perform in the Latin club on the ship; he just so happened to look like an off-brand version of my favorite bachata artist. He was very hot. He caught my eye the first day, I caught his eye the second, and by the third, we were sneaking around and hooking up around the boat."

Someone saying "I'm annoyed but I'm also obsessed"

2."I was on a cruise in the late 90s. We ran into a hurricane, and our stabilizers stopped working. The ship rocked so crazily you couldn’t walk down the hallways, and glasses went flying off tables. I was a kid, and while everyone got seasick, my friend and I spent time running around the decks exploring."

"There was a lot of water (and other stuff) leaking everywhere, and half the ship got off at one of the ports. My friend’s family was given additional rooms as a perk (my parents can’t remember why), and we hung out in them and watched Titanic over and over — for some reason, it was playing on the cruise ship TV!"

—Anonymous

3."About 6 years ago, we did a cruise in the Northeast. First, it was a 70+ Vietnam veterans reunion, and it was published as a kid- and teen-friendly cruise. Someone died, and we had to stop earlier than expected.

a man saying "wait, wait, wait time out"

4."I went on a cruise with my boss and her family. It was a really good time, except when one night, her teen son failed to return to the room. She woke me up at 1:30 a.m., asking if her son had come back to the room, and I said, 'What?!' We immediately got dressed and called customer service, evoking a very large search party on this cruise."

"We could not find him anywhere, and we started growing very concerned that something horrible had happened to him. We circle back to another open deck, where we find him and a group of teens sleeping under the stars! They set up a whole camping situation on the pool deck. He was nestled between two girls, and my boss ended that very quickly. It is safe to say he stayed inside the room for the rest of the cruise."

boredatwork123

5."I don’t know if it counts, but I got COVID in the middle of my Caribbean cruise and was confined to my cabin, but at least I got free alcohol, right?"

Brittany Broski in her viral kombucha tasting meme

6."I had to go to see the doctor on a cruise. The doctor was very busy and preoccupied, and he told me they had had a death on board. He told me faaaaar too much about it: an elderly gentleman had had a heart attack and died while both on and in a senior lady post-viagra."

"I exclaimed, 'Oh, his poor wife.' She laughed and replied, 'Yes, I had to call her and tell her the whole thing.' It was rampant senior swinging from one cabin to another. One lady got off in Madeira for the day to ride a hired bicycle and ended up having sex with an ex-flame in some bushes who was on another cruise ship. She told me all about it over dinner! Man, the goldies were seeing some action!"

nikkimadans

7.I went on a cruise with my mom and some extended family. The first morning, we all went to go get breakfast, which was buffet style. After getting my food, I sat down at a table, about to enjoy my breakfast, when a man came and sat directly in my line of vision with a whole ass plate of bacon."

a girl saying "that is so gross"

8."Went on a cruise at 16. I met a guy on the cruise who was on his senior trip with his private high school. I stayed up on the deck with him talking late into the night/early morning before he walked me back to my cabin that I was sharing with my older brother and sister. This was in the early 2000s, prior to everyone having a phone, and when you’d exchange AIM names."

"My sister woke me up hours later because the boy came back to my room and asked me to come with him to tell his headmaster that we didn’t do anything but talk. Apparently they had a curfew he missed, and his punishment was missing prom and having to clean the school buses for a month. We talked for like a year on AIM but never saw each other again."

—Anonymous

9."Not me, but my dad tells a horrendous story about his senior year cruise. It was loads of students from several local high schools on a cruise ship in the late 1980s. There was lots of alcohol involved and really nasty weather. The boat was rocking terribly and did not let up for days, and he said so many people got violently sea sick."

a woman saying "I feel like I'm gonna barf at any moment"

10."I went on a 7-night Caribbean cruise with my parents to celebrate their 50th anniversary. On the fourth day, my mom had a bad stomachache and insisted that my dad and I should go touring, and she would stay in the room. We had a fun few hours in St. Maarten, and when we came back to check in on her, she was still in extreme pain."

"I finally convinced her to let me take her to the infirmary. $140 later, they said that it might be appendicitis and that we had to get off the ship immediately because we’d be at sea for the next 2 days and they couldn’t care for her. I had 20 minutes to tell my dad and pack up two cabins! My dad and I were escorted off the ship, and my mom was brought to an ambulance. People were standing on their balconies taking pictures as my mom was loaded into the ambulance. I had to leave my 74-year-old dad on the pier with all of our luggage while I rode with my mom to the hospital. Hours later, they determined it was not appendicitis, but she would need surgery. The good news was that they stabilized her so that we could fly home first. My dad and I spent the night in a hotel, my mom in the hospital, and then the three of us caught the one direct flight of the day home from St. Maarten!"

—Anonymous

11."The same guest took a dump in the pool three days in a row. The pool had to be emptied and disinfected each time. On the third occasion, they caught him, and he proceeded to scoop the poop into a glass and hand it to a member of staff, saying, 'The pool didn't need to be emptied.' He was kicked off the ship."

Lil Nas X saying "lock him up throw, throw away the key"

12."Myself, my husband, and our three kids went on our first cruise in May 2023. I did extensive research and made a list of things we needed (and some things we absolutely didn’t need, but you never know). I bought a file folder for our birth certificates and boarding passes, and I even brought our social security cards just in case."

"We live in Wisconsin and drove 18 hours to Jacksonville, Fl., so I wanted to be prepared. Well, we make it down to Florida, and when we get to the check-in counter, I hand the lady my driver's license and birth certificate, and she looks at me funny. It turns out I grabbed my sister’s birth certificate instead of mine. I bawled my eyes out, thinking we just spent thousands of dollars and drove 18 hours just to not be able to board the ship. Luckily, they were able to use my driver's license and my kid’s birth certificate to verify my identity and place of birth. I just pictured the long, disappointing drive home, but thank goodness they let us on."

kateeshamitchell

13."There was an outdoor buffet on the outdoor deck of our ship, and every morning staff cooked fresh-made omelettes to order. One morning, a passenger started shouting because a member of staff had put onions in when he had said he didn't want onions. He then picked up the omelet and threw it at the staff member. I can't even tell you how fast a manager appeared, and the guy was dragged off."

a girl throwing a raw egg in a boy's face

14."I went on a cruise that had a thalassotherapy pool, which is like a large saltwater hot tub with jets. My friend went to use it, and right before she was about to get in, something went wrong. Somehow, the water became electrified! She said that people were flopping around like fish out of water. I was told they all ended up okay, but I'm really glad I didn't see it, and I'm extremely glad my friend didn't get in!"

unrepentant_cow

And finally, this person shared their hilariously wild cruise experience that resulted in them refusing to vacation with their mother any longer:

15."I was 26 and went on a cruise with my mother. She drank too much, and I put her to bed (on a nest of towels on the bathroom floor), then went out by myself. I met some friends while drinking and dancing, then stopped at a pub on the way back to my room for a beer and fries."

Maya Rudolph saying "oh no"

Have any wild memories from a cruise you've been on? Let me know in the comments!

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity