"I Knew In That Moment I Had Made A Mistake": People Are Sharing What Made Them Regret Getting Married, And Honestly, It's Heartbreaking

Note: This post contains mentions of abuse and drug use.

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what made them immediately regret getting married. Here are the eye-opening — and shocking — results:

1."My ex-wife secretly was in love with a coworker. I suspected it, and she all but confirmed it by inviting him to our wedding, inviting him up to our room on our wedding night, secretly dating him, and lying about it after the wedding."

2."He was military and we eloped. At the court house, I was incredibly nervous. I fumbled over my vows. He said his completely calm and even, not a single falter in his voice. We ate Chinese food, went home, and went to bed. I knew then that something was wrong."

"He completely changed as a person afterward. A lot of narcissistic traits. We lasted four years before he cheated and got another girl in the military pregnant. I still feel like I dodged a bullet getting out when I did."

—bcs1294

3."My new husband took all the money we received as wedding gifts and spent it going on the honeymoon alone. He said that we didn’t have enough for both of us to go and his family had given it to us, so it was really his."

"The marriage lasted less than a year. It shouldn’t have lasted that long."

—55, United States

4."My now ex-husband and I lived together for eight years before we eloped. For eight years, that man never once left the toilet seat up, but right after our wedding ceremony, he left the seat up, and I said something about it. His response was to tell me that he 'always' left the seat up and was kind of a jerk about it. Everyone laughs at me when I tell them this story, but I knew in that moment I had made a mistake because it was this bizarre lie that rewrote the past."

5."I knew I shouldn’t have done it. Everything leading up to that day was a glaring red flag slapping me in the face. The day we moved in together, I found evidence of him cheating on me, and this wasn’t the first time."

"Two months after the wedding, I found out he was still cheating and told the other person he was planning to leave me. I kick myself often, like I should have known better, but I was also 19 when we first got together and believed I had to fight and stay in it no matter what. We ended up divorcing after four years married and seven together. And I was so relieved when he left because I knew my life could really begin."

—33, Washington

6."After living with my ex for two years, I married my high school sweetheart. We had been apart for eight years and reconnected. Little did I know, he had a drug problem he hid very well. The day after we got married, I found him in the bathroom getting high."

"I instantly knew I made a mistake, but I decided to try and get him help. Things went from bad to worse, and eventually, I left him. I was emotionally, physically, and financially drained. I learned so much from this failed marriage, but the most important are 'always trust your gut' and 'you cannot allow someone else’s problem to suck the life out of you.'"

—40, North Carolina

7."He turned super controlling on our honeymoon, which he hadn't been before. 'I didn't pay $4,000 so you could read a book/watch TV/take a nap. You can do that at home.' Every time I wanted to sit and chill, I was reminded how much money he had spent and how I had to do every excursion (even though I got sea sick) and keep him constantly entertained. It only got worse once we got back."

8."Shortly after saying 'I do,' I found out my wife was previously married and has a kid — this is with me asking when we first met, 'Are you married? Do you have any kids?'"

"I thought it was OK at first; people remarry, and her ex-husband had custody. I thought we'd be happy with our small family (we have a 3-year-old son together). However, a few months ago, I found out her ex can no longer raise their son, and now I am a new stepfather. If it weren't for my son, I would have had a divorce, and she would be twice the divorcée."

—52, California

9."On our wedding night, when I asked my husband why he was going straight to bed, he said, 'It’s been a long day, and we’re both tired.' For the remaining six years of our marriage, he did not once turn to me in bed to give me so much as a kiss. It was the coldest and loneliest time in my life."

"He turned on the charm around my family, though. They still like him even years after I divorced him for being, among other things, a cruel and manipulative narcissist."

—39, USA

10."I married a guy I met online, and we got engaged after only two months of long-distance dating. Needless to say, his whole life was a lie — from what he did for a living to how he lived. Shortly after we were married, all the lies came out, and I immediately regretted the decision."

11."During our wedding, I was laughing at the surreal feeling of it all. Should have known that isn’t a good sign. Came back from our honeymoon to him staying out all night at a 'work' party I wasn’t invited to. Found out he was cheating on me with a coworker."

"Left the next day and completely regretted marrying a cheater. Found out later he got her pregnant with twins and left her. Got a disillusion divorce only to have him default on his car payment and leave me holding the co-signed bag."

—44, Ohio

12."Rules came flooding in shortly after the wedding. I couldn’t drive if he was with me, had to change into ‘nice’ clothes after work, dinner on the table when he came home, no buying medical insurance, no going to the doctor when I was sick, etc. I was stupid and young and stayed."

"Later, he wanted me to be a stay-at-home mother and only allowed me to put the kids in daycare and go back to work after I threatened to leave. I stayed for 11 years! I’ve been happily remarried for 10 years and still am in awe of my new freedom. My current husband still tells me 'I’m not [ex], you don’t need my permission' when I ask him if I can do something."

—39, USA

13."We were too young. 20 and 21. We were both conditioned to believe you finish university, find a spouse, get married, buy a house, and have babies. We did that because that’s what we were told was correct — unaware it is not for us. I almost walked out of the wedding but…didn’t."

14."I was young and 'in love,' but the second the ring was on my finger, I started to have an anxiety attack because I suddenly felt the crushing weight of the years in front of me, legally bound to this person."

"I hid it until I was alone, but then realized that my ring finger was swelling up badly. I ended up having to drive to the hardware store for some bolt cutters to get it off after every slippery substance in the house failed to work. We broke up not long after."

—baumannsaraha

15."As soon as we said 'I do,' he treated me like property. It took 20 years to get out of this extremely abusive relationship. He spent all of our money on cigarettes, lotto tickets, and — as I found out later — sex workers. We were always poor, and we had two kids to feed!"

—64, Missouri

16."Upon getting married to the man I was dating for five years, I found out that he had been sexting with his ex-wife. She was barely involved in their children’s life, so I was the one picking up the slack and was a primary caregiver to them while my husband was at work."

17."We never argued until we were married. Every time a minor argument ensued, he screamed at me 'I want a divorce.' Then he acted like nothing happened."

"It shook my belief in his credibility as a man who walked his talk."

—52, Hawaii

18."I spent $3,500 on a wedding in Arizona. We were to fly to Phoenix the next morning. I had bought a new Tesla six months before the wedding and let her drive it during the relationship. The night before our flight, she told me she wouldn't marry me unless I signed the car over to her. I reluctantly did. After we got married, I realized this wasn't an act of love but greed."

"When we arrived back home after three days, I called my lawyer to file for divorce."

—63, California

19."At 22, I met a charming man at work who proceeded to sweep me off my feet and spoke about marrying me about a month in. Five months later, we eloped and moved in together without telling our families about the marriage. The night of the wedding was spent locked in a bathroom at his cousin's house while our friends all went out to celebrate."

20."We got married on a Thursday at the courthouse. I was off that morning from work and did it on a whim. Immediately after, when I had to go into work, I felt my gut say, 'The f did you just do?!' I knew I was in so much trouble. I didn’t even like this guy."

"I can’t tell you why I did it to this day. I didn’t realize 'til months and years later that he was a pathological liar. We're no longer together, and there are four or five women he's had children with. I've heard he's a pathological liar to this day."

—32, Alabama

And finally...

21."My husband lied about planning our honeymoon up until the day we were supposed to leave for the trip. This led to a big fight just two days after we were married where he basically brought up everything I had ever done wrong in our relationship."

Have you gotten married and immediately regretted it? Tell us your story in the comments below.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.