24 "Flexes" That Aren't Flexes At All And Actually Make You Look Bad (According To People On The Internet)
Reddit user u/DaveBeYou posed the question: "What is just not the 'flex' that people think it is?" The thread quickly filled with a variety of interesting and, in some cases, polarizing answers. Here's what people shared:
1."My cousin's husband always brags about what a 'manly man' he is and how he's never changed his daughter's diaper/bathed her/put her to bed. Their daughter is almost 1, and he never fails to brag about it at every family gathering. I'm not sure why he sees it as a flex? He's basically bragging about being a terrible father."
"'I have never changed a diaper,' or, 'My wife does all the housework.' Or, any other thing that translates to, 'I am a POS husband and father.'"
2."Vaping. No one cares that you're sucking down chemicals. It's not cooler than smoking."
3."Proclaiming you’re an 'alpha male.' In fact, it makes you look like a complete idiot, and everyone hates you."
4."When adults brag about high school sports achievements — like, that's their whole personality."
"My mother-in-law mentioned how popular she was in high school so often that one day, I said to her, 'Wild how that was half a century ago at this point!' I don’t think she’s mentioned it since."
5."Working 60+ hours a week and 'grind mentality.' Don’t get me wrong, I like OT — especially because all of my OT is double time, and I like making the big bucks from time to time — but trying to flex that you work 60+ hours per week and saying that anything less than 60 hours is 'part-time' is just plain stupid. You are working your life away and spending more time away from your family. It shows just how underpaid you really are."
6."Boasting about how much drinking and weed smoking you can do."
7."Being proud about being 'brutally honest' when really, they’re just rude."
"I’ve found people who are 'brutally honest' tend to use that honesty with malicious intent. And, it’s not that people 'can’t handle it.' It’s just the fact that their honesty is filled with arrogance and ill intent. You can be honest with people without being rude about it."
8."Teachers bragging about how a high percentage of their class fails every year."
9."Having a bunch of kids."
"I've realized the people who complain about having a bunch of kids are the same people who want to pressure me to have a second kid. It's so annoying."
"My relatives who complain about how their four kids have ripped their house apart and how they haven't slept in a decade always go on to try and pressure me into having children. No thank you?"
10."'I haven't read a book since high school.' This is not a flex. Not being interested in reading, having issues with it, or having dealt with crappy teachers who ruined it for you is one thing, but saying it like you're proud of it tells me a lot about the type of person you are. None of it is good."
11."Never taking your PTO."
"My dad argues with me all the time. 'Off again? I don't know how you can do that all the time. You've taken off more this year than I have in the past decade.' I say, 'I earned it. I pay my dues, I go to work, and this is what we get.' 'Oh, so just because you have the time, you just HAVE to use it?' Damn right. He is maxed out on PTO, and it's a use-or-lose situation. He just loses it every year, then talks crap about his coworkers who burn the difference, like, 'Oh, he does that all the time. I don't see the point of taking vacation just to burn the time. It's not like they're actually going on vacation.'"
12."Couples who are miserable, but brag about how many years they've been together."
"They always use their anniversary to talk about how much they can't stand each other, too. 'We've had our ups and downs, and we often don't get along. But, between all the yelling and fighting and breakups, we've made it work! Love you, babe! Thanks for doing life with me! Happy Anniversary!'"
13."'One-upmanship.' Good grief. People think making someone else look like less than them makes them 'cool.' Umm, no, it makes you look INSECURE."
"I have a lovely friend who does this. For example, a few years back, I ran my first 10K in a little under an hour. When I told everyone, my friend responded with, 'I ran my last 10K in 35 minutes; it wasn't even that hard.' Well, no kidding, Bethany; you're a professional triathlete."
14."Having a huge, expensive wedding when you're not a wealthy person."
"Also, having a huge, expensive wedding when you are a wealthy person."
15."Driving a Tesla."
16."People who think it's so cool that they 'stole' someone's significant other is cringe to me."
17."'I have a genius-level IQ.' Firstly, no you don't, or you wouldn't be saying it. Secondly, where did you get this info from? Because if it's something on the internet, they say everyone is a genius so you'll brag about it and share it. Thirdly, intelligence is so complicated; any single number is virtually meaningless. There are so many metrics for intelligence that you can be high in some and low in others, come out average, and still be an amazing prodigy at one thing. Or, you may be brilliant at most things, but not know which foot to put your shoes on."
"My eldest brother is constantly talking about his IQ, what he personally estimates it to be (well above genius-level, naturally), and asks others about theirs dismissively. He's in his 80s now, and his life has been a series of escalating failures and deserved comeuppances so severe that he fled the country, but he's convinced that because a personality test flattered him at some point in the past, he's inherently superior to 99% of people and all but unquestionable. I told him once that he'd be so much more impressive if he wasn't so clearly impressed with himself, and he was furious. Truly intelligent people don't have to constantly talk about how intelligent they believe they are; they just do intelligent things and enjoy involved activities and hobbies."
18."How many followers you have."
19.“'We’re like family here.' We’re coworkers who work for an organization that pays us money on a contractual basis. Relationships will always have a limit. It’s not family. And, if you feel like it is, you might want to protect yourself."
20."People who say they don’t read instructions."
21."People who describe themselves as an 'empath' in the first few minutes of meeting them. Most just have a lot of unresolved trauma and talk incessantly about themselves."
"Funnily enough, every self-proclaimed 'empath' I’ve ever met had virtually no cognitive empathy skills, just pure, unadulterated projection."
22."Taking pictures with stacks of money. Real rich people have these things called bank accounts."
23."Personal plates on a car."
24.And: "Toxic positivity. It's all centered around pretending that you can control things you can't control. People who believe this stuff come unglued when they have a real tragedy. Sometimes, bad things happen to you with no warning, for no reason, there was no way to avoid it, and there's no way to fix it. It's OK to feel sad and angry about that. Telling people who are struggling that they can just choose not to struggle makes you sound like an idiot."
Are there any other "flexes" people brag about that aren't actually flexes at all?
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
