22 Expectations, Traditions, And Social Norms That People Think Need To Be Abolished, Like Yesterday
Recently, over on the Ask Reddit subreddit, u/NewImprovement1160 posed the question, "What's a tradition that you think people should get rid of?" And unsurprisingly, the comments came pouring in, with people calling out all kinds of traditions, social norms, and expectations that are actually kinda absurd when you think about it.
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If you don't see what I mean, stop for a second, pick something off this list, and ask yourself, "Why do we do this?" If the answer is "it's tradition," "that's just how it is," or "that's just how it's always been," it might be time to reconsider this "tradition" — especially if it's actively doing harm (i.e. perpetuating gender stereotypes, ruining the environment, or simply making someone uncomfortable).
Honestly, there's no good reason why we have to keep doing certain things a certain way just because others have done it like that. I think one commenter, u/Anoscetia, said it best: traditions are "just peer pressure from dead people."
So, without further ado, here are 22 traditions that people would like to see dead and buried:
1."Tipping. Just pay the server a real wage and stop leaving it up to the customer."
"Companies need to pay a living wage — every company, but especially restaurants and other tipped industries. IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY YOUR EMPLOYEES A LIVING WAGE, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO EXIST AS A BUSINESS!"
2."Funerals. That person is already dead."
"Modern embalming and burials in caskets. If this keeps up, the whole planet will eventually become a cemetery. Everyone's bodies should be allowed to decompose completely and go back to the earth. Our human compost should either be returned to the family (like cremated ashes) or used to cultivate national parks and forests."
3."Smashing someone's face into their birthday cake."
"I'm not sure why this is even a thing."
4."Those over-the-top gender reveal parties."
"You can still have a party if you want to have a party. Just do a pregnancy announcement party, or a first trimester party, or a horoscope reveal party ffs. But perpetuating outdated gender stereotypes by placing undue importance on a child's genitalia is just profoundly weird to me."
5."Presenteeism (when showing up to work is more important than literally anything else). Even now, I have colleagues coming in when they’re sick."
"The same goes for those 'perfect attendance' awards at school; sure, it's POSSIBLE that a kid hasn't been sick on any school day from kindergarten through the 12th grade, but it's not likely, and that means that a sick/infectious child has had to go to school feeling like garbage while also passing it on to others."
6."Using the same first names through generations of boys. Isn't carrying on the surname enough?!"
"My cousin's kid is the seventh of his name (as in Bob Jones the 7th). He's just a little kid, but he's the 7th. The funny thing is, his dad (the 6th) goes by a nickname, and his grandfather (the 5th) also goes by a different nickname. They're not even their middle names; they're just completely made-up nicknames."
7."I love my lawn, but grass that has to be maintained is kinda dumb."
8."Respecting parents/elders — no matter what. Some of them are just bad people."
9."There are a lot of weirdly accepted social norms surrounding pregnancy: asking newlyweds when they're going to try for a baby, assuming a woman is pregnant because she's not drinking, assuming a woman is pregnant because she's gained weight in her belly area, and touching (?!?!) a pregnant woman's belly without her consent (?!?!). Women are women first before they are mothers! Can we please remember that?"
10."Super extravagant and expensive weddings."
"I always told myself this would never happen to me. I tried to do a smaller wedding and keep everything low-cost. We were at $30K before we even blinked an eye. The wedding industry is an absolute sham and needs to die a fast death."
11.And while we're on the subject of weddings, "Shoving cake in your new spouse's face during a wedding reception. I hate it."
"This tradition is so bad. The bride perfects her makeup and gets her face slathered with cake and can't just wash it off like a guy would.
At my friend's wedding, the groom chased her down, grabbed her by the neck, and smeared the cake all over her face. It was like watching a 10-year-old teach his 6-year-old sibling a lesson."
12.And one more wedding one: "The groom pulling off the garter with his teeth and throwing it into the crowd of single men. And similarly, the bride throwing bouquets at a crowd of single women. Yuck."
"It’s uncomfortable for everyone and archaically sexist."
"The garter toss has always rubbed me the wrong way, and seeing family members cheer is borderline creepy."
13."Hazing in fraternities and sororities."
"When a friend tried to explain hazing to me, I just couldn't help but keep asking 'why?' And his response was basically that hazing is something everyone just has to deal with to become closer, like...what happened to just talking over a beer or something?"
14."Giving your kids the boot right when they turn 18."
15."For Americans, Black Friday shopping. It's dangerous, selfish, and ruins Thanksgiving. Go spend time with your families while they're alive."
16."Five-day work weeks. The worst is when people defend it and call people who don’t like it lazy. I don’t mind working, but selling all my limited time on this earth is horrible and a bad deal."
"You spend five days of your life each week making money. You get two for yourself. And you have to spend those two days doing all the work your life needs. How is that fair?"
17."Having women do all of the kitchen work at parties and get-togethers."
18."Forcing children to give hugs and kisses to family members. Children deserve bodily autonomy. You would never force a grown adult to do the same, so why a child?! I value my personal space so much and think my children's personal space should be as well. Mine say hello and goodbye but typically only offer a wave or a fist bump."
19."Celebrity idolatry."
20."Asking the father's permission to marry a woman. In this day and age, it's just creepy."
21."Paying for things always being a man's responsibility in a relationship. It should be a shared thing to do. Both sides should be trying and working on building a healthy relationship."
22.And finally, "The idea that it's important to keep traditions. Or just generally the overall line of thinking that 'because a large amount of people have always done this/thought this/believed this, it must clearly be a good idea (for everyone).'"
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
