People Are Sharing The Silliest Reasons They've Had To Stop In The Middle Of Sex, And I'm Actually Crying Of Laughter
Sex can be a super awkward yet enjoyable activity. Although it can be mildly unpleasant at times, it's always best to laugh at yourself instead of wallowing in self-pity.
NBC / Via giphy.com
And so, when Reddit user u/Checks_Gone_Wild asked, "What's the silliest reason you've had to stop in the middle of having sex?" the comments were filled with slightly embarrassing yet hilarious stories that people couldn't wait to tell.
So, here are 25 silly reasons why people had to stop right in the middle of sex:
1.This sex playlist surprise:
"So, I've just started dating this girl for about a month or so, and we're hooking up at her place. You know how it is with a new relationship. You’re always worried about doing something embarrassing. Now, we usually just put her iTunes music on shuffle when we're fooling around, but her phone wasn't handy, so we're using mine. Which was a gamble because a good 50% of my music is ridiculous shit I downloaded on a whim, but I was horny and in a hurry, so I figured I'd roll the dice.
It went fine for a while! Pretty good mix of good sex music, I'm behind her, we're in the middle of things, and then Ray Parker Jr. starts belting out the Ghostbusters theme. She freezes, doesn't turn around. I freeze, too, already trying to think of a way to play this off without spoiling the mood. Then she snickers, says, 'Bustin' makes me feeeel good,' and starts grinding back into me while laughing her ass off. Obviously, I married her. Going on three years now. Ghostbusters is still in our sex playlist."
2.This literal fiery passion:
Nickelodeon / Via giphy.com
"Fooling around on the couch, and I take off one of the legs of her pajama pants. We get going more and more into it, and I pull the PJ pants off completely and throw them over my shoulder as we continue sexy time. About 15 seconds later, I notice shadows moving weirdly and glance over my shoulder to notice those PJs had landed on a candle and are now on fire. I lunge and grab them and run to the kitchen sink, throw them in and turn the water on, then bust out laughing."
3.This unpleasant burning sensation:
"It started to burn....really bad. It turns out my boyfriend at the time hadn't washed his hands after we had made jalapeño poppers earlier that night. It was an inferno down there."
4.This unexpected love bite:
"A rat bit me. He had a pet rat that had free run of the space at the top of his dresser. I grabbed the edge of the dresser in the middle of things, and the rat did not take the intrusion kindly and delivered a sneak attack to my fingertip. Blood fountained everywhere, and we had to take a first-aid break."
5.This hilarious Disney reference:
"Earlier in my relationship with my girlfriend, she was giving me a blow job, then all of a sudden stopped, put her hair in a ponytail, and said 'Pull the lever Kronk' while putting my hand on her ponytail. I managed to keep my composure through that one, but it was hard to."
—Anonymous
6.This surprising shout:
"My diabetic boyfriend's blood sugar dropped. He just stopped and yelled 'JUICE!!!' He was laughing throughout the entire ordeal. I want you to try and not laugh when your partner screams 'Juice' as he's about to climax."
7.This clapping gone wrong situation:
"I have a clapper light, and the sound of balls on butt cheek turned the bedside lamp on...we promptly resumed after some hysterics."
8.This out of the blue praise:
"My boyfriend's pet cockatiel started to sing 'If you're happy and you know it' and wolf-whistled...while watching us."
9.This super-awkward verbal exchange:
"We had been going at it for a while, so my legs were pretty tired. I told my boyfriend while we were switching positions that my legs made me feel like a noodle, and in his sexiest, not-at-all-trying-to-be-funny voice, he goes: 'Yeah? Well, you're a tight little noodle.' He was furious with himself for saying it after I couldn't stop laughing long enough to continue."
10.This nearly awful situation caused by a steam heater:
"I lived in a two-story house, which was quite old. It had piped steam heating, and one of the issues was that when the heat came on, the pipes expanded, causing a weird knocking sound, as if someone was walking in high heels. My bedroom was on the lower floor, with the living room (and entrance) above. One night, I had a girl that I had recently met over, and it was her first time at my place. It was late, and we were getting frisky, then we started doing it. She was on top, riding away. I was having a good time, to say the least. Unbeknownst to me, the heat had come on. So, suddenly the knocking starts, and she gets this horrified look on her face, hastily gets up, and starts getting dressed. I was so used to the knocking that it didn't even register anymore.
So I'm like, 'What happened? What did I do??' And she replied, 'Your wife is here! I heard her walk in upstairs!!' And I'm like.. 'What wife? I live alone!' Soon it dawned on me what had happened, and we both had a good laugh."
11.This hilarious Family Guy mention:
Fox / Via giphy.com
"There was an episode of Family Guy where Lois and Peter are having sex, and the rest of the family listens to the rhythmic creaking of their bed in fear/disgust — except for Stewie, who dreams he's on a rocking chair on the porch of a Southern plantation. He takes a sip of iced tea and says, 'Ahhh, it's good to have land.'
Once, my then-girlfriend and I were doing it, and the bed started squeaking in that exact rhythm. I thought of that scene and for some reason didn't have my mouth/brain filter engaged, so I just blurted out while thrusting in missionary, 'Ahh, it's good to have land.' She then gave me the most confused 'What' I've ever heard, and we both started laughing so uncontrollably that I lost my erection. Couldn't finish 'til half an hour later."
12.These hilarious words of encouragment:
"My wife finished and was waiting for me to finish. In the heat of the moment and close to finishing, she looks at me and says, 'You can do it, buddy.' That was the end of it and was like a deflated balloon how fast it went down. Still joke about it...outside of the bedroom, of course."
13.This demand you wouldn't expect to hear in the bedroom:
"My wife and I were going doggy style and I kind of swept her legs out, so we were doing it with her on her stomach. She immediately yelled out 'Remooove the suppoooorts' a la the witch weighing scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It took us 30 minutes before we started again because we were laughing so hard."
14.This case of the wrong type of banging:
"Was in her bed for the first time. The sides of her bed frame rose and were on the same level as the bed. Flash to lovemaking; I’m half standing going to town when I reposition my foot on the covers. It turns out that was actually the frame, and I slip, fall off the bed, and slam my head on the wall. I didn't get a nut, but I did get a concussion."
—Anonymous
15.This smelly hookup:
"Her cat stayed in her room as she lived away at college with a few roommates. We were about 10 minutes in, and this cat took the smelliest shit in its litter box. I tried to push through, but it was just too powerful."
16.This baby who's ready to protect their mom even before being born:
"My wife was pregnant; baby kicked me in the stomach. She thought it was hilarious, me not so much."
17.This unexpected yet hilarious vibration:
"She was on top going cowgirl when all of a sudden, she stops and looks down at me with a concerned look on her face. I immediately asked what was wrong, very much concerned I had hurt her or she had hurt herself. She says, 'I have to fart.' So I told her to do it. It vibrated my balls. We couldn't continue because we were laughing too much."
18.This multipurpose underwear fluke:
"You know those overlapping fabric gaps in some men's underwear? Like a fly without a zip. So in the heat of the moment, I'm kneeling over my mostly naked girlfriend, and I decided it would be great to pop it out of the gap in my underwear.
Instead of her grabbing my dick, as it had panned out in my mind, she damn near pissed herself laughing at my boner sticking out of the middle of these bright yellow briefs I had on. She was laughing so much we couldn't have sex, but we still have a laugh at it whenever we remember (or when I wear the underwear)."
19.This random moan:
"My ex-girlfriend and I used to always have a movie on while we had sex when my roommate was home. So this time we were watching the first Harry Potter. So a bit in the movie, we start fooling around, and things heat up. Once we were going at it, I heard moans that were neither of ours, which were blasting out of the TV.
I looked over at the screen, and it is the scene where the troll was wreaking havoc in the bathrooms, yelling away like a giant beast. I started laughing so hard, I could not continue and had to wait until Ron put that beast to sleep."
—Anonymous
20.This surprise guest:
madmoiZelle/ Giphy / Via giphy.com
"My (now ex) girlfriend and I were going at it, and our pot-bellied pet pig put his nose....pretty much in my butt. I jumped due to shock, and our pig (Truffles) got spooked and went running. He went under my legs and stepped on her inner thigh. Nobody was seriously hurt, but we were pretty shocked and started laughing."
21.This misheard dirty talk:
Adult Swim / Via giphy.com
"I've wanted to tell someone about this SO BADLY, but I've always been too embarrassed. I've never been great at dirty talk and always feel overwhelmingly awkward whenever I try, but one night we were both a little drunk, and I tried to be sexy by saying 'punish me.'
I guess I didn't say it very loudly, so I (thought) I heard him ask back, 'Punish you?'... So I said yes, and then he proceeds to awkwardly but lightly punch me in the boob. Startled, I asked him, 'What the fuck?' It turns out he thought I said, 'Punch me.' We had to stop because I was cackling so much after that."
22.This not-so-sexy noise:
"I was riding him and bent forward to kiss him and made the space between my boobs and his chest make a fart sound, and we had to stop because we couldn't stop laughing."
23.This unexpected shout:
Garfield/ Giphy / Via giphy.com
"I was having a two-night stand with this girl and right at the point of lust thrusting when her parrot unknowingly climbed up on the bed next to our heads and screamed 'I JUST LOVE LASAGNA!'"
24.This misplaced slap:
"My wife was on top, and I lifted my hand to slap her ass. She shifted as I was mid-slap. This shift caused the slap to miss and catch me full force in the testicles. We had to take a break."
25.And finally, this surprise trip to the hospital:
"One time in college, I was sucking my boyfriend at the time's dick. He was standing on the bed holding onto the headboard, and I was sitting up against the headboard. Suddenly, he makes this weird sound, and his knees buckle, so I think maybe he is coming, and I keep going. However, it soon became apparent that he was in terrible pain, so I stopped.
It turns out he dislocated his shoulder from jerking too hard (he dislocated it pretty easily, as he was overly flexible). So, I ended up having to drive him to the ER after getting his clothes on him. We told everyone he slipped when trying to get out of bed. I don't think even his mom bought that story, haha."
