"She Doesn't Care Who Has To Die, So She Can Go To The Gym Unrestricted": People Are Sharing The Breaking Point For Their Most Infuriating Friendships
A while back, I asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about the breaking point when they realized their friendship was toxic, terrible, and destined to end. People had A LOT of stories to share. Here are some of the most upsetting ones:
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1."We had a great relationship, but when my life changed, hers didn’t. She became bitter. Whenever I told her good news, she would be sad for herself instead of happy for me. I had a miscarriage, and even though we weren’t trying for a baby, it was very emotional. When I told her about the miscarriage (after I could talk about it without crying), she said, 'Thank God you weren’t pregnant. I would have cried if you were.' So, she would have been upset if I was pregnant because she wasn't? That’s when I decided I would not continue our relationship."
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2."She was always terrible, nasty, and cruel when she drank too much. The first strike was at a concert where she got drunk and kept shouting at me, 'Why are you broken?!' and pushed me down some stairs. I broke my foot. I also have bipolar disorder, and she had been there to see the highs and lows, but she always accused me of faking. The final straw was at her hen party, which I organized and paid for. While my son was in the hospital, she got drunk and pushed me into a wall screaming that I was ruining her day and life. I got right out of there and left her ranting and raging by herself. A few months after the wedding, I found out they were getting divorced because she got drunk and hit her husband. The woman has problems and refuses to get help. I don't need that."
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—anonymous
3."We were friends for over 15 years. She was always a bit quirky and loved conspiracy theories, which I indulged in because they were mostly harmless and way out in left field. Then COVID hit, and I dared to vaccinate my teenage son, myself, and my partner because I was immunocompromised and didn't want to die. She called me and asked why I hated babies so much. Ok, what does that mean? She berated me for chemically castrating my son and giving up on grandchildren in the future. I was stunned and hung up. She called back the next week to let me know that she'd thought about it and had concluded I was just 'the mean friend,' and she was willing to move forward. I hung up again and blocked her on everything."
4."My breaking point came when my friend had an affair with a married man and didn’t see the harm in it. She habitually did sketchy things and was always very secretive about what she was up to. When the truth eventually came out, I always explained it all away with excuses, like, ‘That’s just S—,’ or ‘She’s just vulnerable/going through a hard time/she knows it’s wrong, and she’s ashamed.’"
"But the affair was too much for me to explain away — it made me realize that she didn’t know, or didn’t care about, the difference between right and wrong. This was also during the first COVID lockdown in the UK, so she broke the law to meet up with this guy and expose her father, who was shielding her. I knew it was over when she told me (without shame or concern about my reaction). I told her what I thought, and we haven’t spoken since."
5."I had two pretty close friendships that disintegrated during the pandemic. One wasn't necessarily about the pandemic, but I realized she expected me to always agree with her, and I decided not to nod along with everything. She didn't like that. The other was a workout friend, and as soon as the quarantines started, she complained that the old people would die anyway, and survival of the fittest. She doesn't care who has to die, so she can go to the gym unrestricted. I wasn't that keen on being friends with her anymore. She had always been pretty self-centered, but that was too much."
—w1w1
6."A couple of years ago, I got close to this girl who was super fun and sweet but also had a wild side. Fast-forward to her 21st birthday in Vegas. It was myself, the birthday girl, and her two friends from her hometown. We were only there for three days, the longest three days of my life. What finally broke me was while we were on one of those pool party bar crawls, the birthday girl disappeared and was nowhere to be found for more than three hours. We eventually found her a few hotels away, completely out of it. She'd micro-dosed on acid that morning and conveniently forgot to mention it to the group. Safe to say, the minute we were back in our hometown, I told her we would no longer be friends."
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7."We were friends all through college. A few years later, she sent me nudes to show to my HUSBAND. She said she wanted his opinion and trusted his judgment. She wanted his approval to pick which one to send to some new guy she was dating. I deleted the photos and her number."
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8."After moving to a new city, I met this girl and instantly became close. Looking back, I know we subconsciously bonded over our many insecurities, which triggered a lot in each other and made the whole thing very toxic. She got loads of male attention, which made me feel ugly. The last straw was during a trip she invited me on with two of her guy friends. At the end of the trip, I realized they had a group chat to make fun of me and comment on everything I was saying. How did I find out? We were sitting, the four of us on the train, and I saw the convo where one of her friends (with whom I had zero beef whatsoever) wrote, 'Don't worry, just 30 mins left after she said something like 'I can't stand her anymore.'"
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"I knew our friendship was rocky, but it broke my heart to learn that my BFF of three years would gang up on me like that. I subsequently blocked her from everything and haven't spoken to her since. That was five years ago, and it still feels shitty."
—anonymous
9."I had a friend I thought I might eventually be in a romantic relationship with. I supported him. We had a ton of inside jokes. We liked the same things and made each other laugh constantly. Eventually, I realized that when I had issues I needed to talk through, he wasn't available and would shut down or not respond. He insisted nothing was wrong but would give me the cold shoulder/silent treatment if I spent time or developed relationships with others. I ended up apologizing to him for making him feel bad by being upset by his actions. He was using me for support/love but couldn't return it. Well, at least not to me (or to anyone who wasn't exclusively prioritizing him), so I cut him off."
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10."She begged me to visit her and stay with her for her birthday so I could go to her party with her local friends. She didn't speak to me or even look at me the whole night. The breaking point was when she left me at a bar with no way home because she wanted to go fool around with her current boy toy in his car. Her roommate ended up driving me back to their apartment (and had to go out of her way to do so because she wasn’t even going back home that night). I packed up my stuff and drove home at 2 a.m. That was two months ago, and I haven’t heard from her since."
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11."I had this terrible day because I fought with two friends. The two fights weren’t related. When I told a third friend about my awful day, I didn’t even get to the part explaining why we were fighting. He said it had to be because it was 'that time of the month' for me. I just left and never talked to him again. I'm still friends with the other two. Fights happen, and you get through them. But with him, I was just not willing to discuss the issue at all. If someone thinks my period makes me an irrational fight-seeking person — I'm out."
12."It took my dad dying for me to finally realize enough was enough. Life's too short, don't waste energy on people who want to cause problems. I politely asked my friend for space twice. Both times she responded with a barrage of messages telling me how awful I was and how everything was my fault. So, I blocked her and went no contact. Even though my dad died and several other real-world problems happened in the following months (sibling's house caught fire, and they were displaced, and uncle had a stroke), I was less stressed than I was when I was still in contact with her. We still don't talk, and I'm happier."
—anonymous
13."My breaking point was when my friend, Dan, gaslit me for the final time. I was having a birthday party and didn’t want a mutual friend to know about it (to spare his feelings). Dan told the friend this afterward, and when I confronted him on it, he said I was delusional and had serious problems. It became a huge fight, and I was done when I hung up the phone. I knew it was over. That was 10 years ago, and we thankfully haven’t spoken since."
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14."I always paid for everything. I was used to it. We went to a festival together. I was 16, and my friend was 18. I worked two part-time jobs to afford our tickets, food, etc. At the festival, I wanted to spend some of my money. My friend told me no and took my wallet, claiming I was wasting my money on things I did not need, and all I wanted was a T-shirt for my first festival. On the way home, she took me on a two-day detour to meet a friend. Then they sent me to a guest room while they smoked drugs and ordered food with my money. I wasted so much money on this 'friendship.' I learned that sometimes being alone is better than having the wrong friends."
15."She expected me to be at her beck and call, gaslit me constantly, blamed me for her poor planning, and used the phrase, 'I try to give her at least one day a week to spend time with her husband.' I knew it was over when we went camping for nearly two weeks, just the two of us. It was great, and we were both having a grand time until she laughed at me for something one night after dinner. I don't remember what it was, but it was not a nice laugh. I told her I didn't appreciate her laughing, and the next thing I knew, I was being screamed at. 'Go sit in the tent until you have a better attitude!' Two grown-ass adult women, and she treats me like a sulky pre-teen?"
"It took me another few months to finally bring the hammer down, but looking back at it, that was the moment I knew I was done. Cutting her out of my life is one of the best things I've ever done for myself."
—Kitty
16."I was good friends with a girl and her partner. We hung out all the time, like The Three Amigos. We even talked about renting a house together. I realized it was toxic when they got into a fight one night, and he threw a full 20-oz pop bottle at her right in front of me and stormed out. I sat there stunned, realizing their fighting was expected, but the pop bottle was new. Neither of them thought anything was wrong with the situation when they made up later. I realized the drama was constant. I started slowly hanging out with them less and less. They didn't last very much longer after that."
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17."I met this guy (John) after he started dating my friend, and he quickly became part of our group. She moved on when they broke up after four months, but he didn't. It got to the point where he would obsess over her. He also had a temper that wasn't apparent before but started to show itself frequently, which made me nervous. I encouraged him to seek therapy to move on, but he wouldn’t. He changed from a fun-loving guy into an angry, bitter, and toxic person. The final straw was when we were hanging out with a mutual friend. She had a bruise on her leg from bumping into a table, and when I asked her what happened, she jokingly said John poked her."
"He became unhinged, so much so that he put a hole through her wall. That was it for me. I told him goodbye. I ran into him months later on the subway, and he started yelling at me to the point that my boyfriend had to intervene. I knew I was smart to cut him out of my life."
18."I am a gay Black man from the deep South. I was among only five Black students at any given time in school. Growing up, I tolerated a lot of hate speech and actions, thinking it was 'normal' kid behavior/teasing. While hanging out a couple of years ago, those school friends were spouting racial and homophobic statements again. I promptly cussed them out and left. I realized I'd outgrown them and they add nothing to my life. Nothing but peace since. Good riddance."
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19."She wouldn't even let us celebrate her birthday. We already spent over a hundred dollars because she said she'd like to celebrate. After hours of work at her party, she kept switching the date. So, we decided to give her some time since we all knew she'd been struggling mentally. About a week after her birthday, she (still a minor) started spending all her time with some college boys. We told her she wasn't being safe and that she should distance herself from the guys. The final straw was when she sent us a 20-minute audio clip telling us we never supported her and everything we've done to make her hate us. Everything she said we did was stuff she'd done to us for years. She was manipulating and gaslighting both of us, and I'm so glad it's done."
20."My breaking point came when my mom passed away. My friend never responded to my text saying my mom had passed. Two days later, this friend asked if I wanted to grab dinner and shop at the mall. I needed the distraction, so I agreed to meet up — my mistake. My friend had fought with her boyfriend and spent the entire meal talking about her 'breakup.' She didn't express sympathy or ask how I was — no acknowledgment of my loss. And if that wasn't enough, she didn't attend my mom's funeral despite saying she would be there. I never responded to her texts again. It's been 12 years, and I haven't regretted ghosting her."
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—anonymous
21."We were friends for 10 years. She was always jealous of my relationship and acted as if I was her boyfriend (I'm gay, she's not). When I entered a long-term relationship, things went downhill. She called me at all hours to comfort her or to sleep at my house even though I was not alone. She even demanded I get rid of the cockroach infestation in her house as if I was obliged to do so. In the end, I didn't have to do anything. She cut me off and did me a favor."
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22."She was nice to my face, so I called her my best friend. However, she would often leave me out and spread rumors about me. I was blissfully unaware until I accidentally ran across a Facebook post where she made fun of my weight to her coworkers. Not in a mild way, either. She called me a globe and said she wanted to stick continents all over me."
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Do you have your own breaking point stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
