People Are Sharing The Most Inappropriate, Shocking, And Tacky Things They Witnessed At Funerals, And I'm Living For The Mess
We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the most shocking thing they saw at a funeral, and nothing could've prepared me for some of these stories. Here's what they had to say:
1."When my friend's mother died after a long illness, we were told her instructions were 'no wearing black, no hysterical cries, and she would haunt those who didn't laugh at least once during her "big day."' When the coffin was brought into the church, someone forgot to lock the brakes on the trolley thing it was resting on. So, as the priest was delivering his service and talking about her and some of the great things she had done, the coffin began to roll down the aisle of the church very quickly. As people were leaping from their seats to stop it, the priest just shouted out 'Sweet Jesus, Brenda, could you just sit still for an hour and take a compliment or two.' So, Brenda did get the laugh she wanted in the end."
2."When my great aunt passed away, I was in charge of being my grandma's wrangler to and from the funeral home (since I lived with her). I made sure she was appropriately dressed and all that, but when we got to the funeral home, my aunt took issue with whatever she was wearing. So, the two of them were in front of the casket when my aunt asked my grandma if she had her dentures in. Grandma smiled real big to show her teeth. Then, my aunt asked Grandma if she was wearing a bra, and Grandma proceeded to flash my aunt and the deceased. Thankfully, she was wearing a bra, but still. That was a weird day on so many levels."
3."My family is a large Irish Catholic family who does not get along. My grandparents had six children, and as adults, the children split into two groups of three who hated the other. My uncle and aunts who disliked one another almost never spoke, and the feud trickled down into the spouses as well. My grandmother died a few years ago, and we all were going to see one another at the funeral. It was a traditional Catholic funeral, and my mom even hired a bagpiper for the burial. Tensions were high during the mass and climaxed once we all arrived at the cemetery. One of my aunt's husbands made a comment to my uncle, leading to a full screaming match. While the screaming match was occurring, the bagpiper continued as the casket was lowered. The argument escalated further to a fistfight, and one uncle was knocked out. An ambulance was called for my uncle, but while the family was waiting, more fighting began.
"All of a sudden, my grandfather fell to the ground and said he was having a heart attack. Another ambulance was called for my grandfather, and once they arrived, the fighting fizzled off. My grandfather then stood up and said he pretended to have a heart attack to stop the fighting. The best part of the funeral during the fight and fake heart attack was the bagpiper continued to play the whole time, observing the chaos of the day."
4."I used to work for my granddad’s burial service over the summers as a teen. We dropped a lady in the hole after everyone was gone. She fell out of the casket. We had to climb down into the hole, lift her out, and then put her back in the casket. Her skin was so damn cold, and she was so stiff. I still have dreams about that sometimes. It sucked."
5."This story is about my great-grandmother’s funeral. Here's context: My father’s family are Ukrainian Jews, and they emigrated to New York. My great-grandmother and grandmother spoke very little English and were total divas and not nice people. My grandmother and her sister (my great-aunt) hated each other. My great-aunt is very religious and looked after my great-grandmother for the last years of her life. So, my great-grandmother died at 99, and in Jewish tradition, we had a funeral in New York at a Jewish cemetery in Queens. I think the more appropriate question was what DIDN'T go wrong. The rabbi got her profession wrong. He kept calling her an opera singer, but she was a pianist. Then, my great aunt fainted on my dad. After seeing the attention my great aunt got from fainting, my grandmother PRETENDED to faint in the most hilarious, obvious way.
"They also had to take the coffin out from the ground and put it back in facing the other way cause it ‘wasn’t facing Jerusalem.’ Fourteen-year-old me got the giggles and had to pretend I was crying while I was trapped between the two hysterical old women and my dad who was also trapped between the hysterical old women. The end!"
6."Someone shared a story of how she and the deceased used to smoke crack, and how they bonded over getting their kids taken away at the same time."
—Anonymous
7."The first funeral I officiated was at a farmhouse. The funeral was for a couple and their dog. It was very sad, but one moment will be remembered forever. All three of them were cremated and put in a beautiful oak box. We moved outside to outspread the ashes in a memorial garden. The son holding the box stated, 'I forgot to get a shovel to spread the ashes, so I went into the kitchen and got us a half-cup measuring cup.' He proceeded to hand me the half cup, and I dumped a half cup of ashes in everyone’s hands. I hope they threw that half cup away or at least buried it."
—Anonymous
8."BeReal went off, so my sisters and I tried to include our deceased grandfather in his open casket in our photo. It would be his last photo ever; however, our horrible step-grandmother blocked him and ruined the photo. Our grandfather would have thought it was funny."
—Anonymous
9."At my great aunt's funeral, one of the people attending had a heart attack. When we were running around trying to find the AED (automated external defibrillator), the priest was sitting and texting. We kept asking him where the AED was; he pointed to these double doors that were chained shut. When we asked if he had a key, he sighed and said, 'Yes, but I probably lost it.' Someone called 911 while my uncle ran around the outside of the building to go to it. Fortunately, the ambulance got there, and the man was okay. However, as we were wheeling her coffin out, we knocked over every single potted plant by accident. We like to think it was cosmic justice for not getting the AED."
—Anonymous
10."When I was in mortuary school, I was working at a funeral home part-time, and there was a kid who got shot during gang feuds, and he had a bullet hole in his head. The funeral director recreated his structure, and the open viewing went well. Until the end, when the dad was so upset that he flung himself on his son, and when we pulled back, the cosmetic was all over his glasses, and the hole was exposed again. I'm sure it was very traumatizing for that family."
—Anonymous
11."I saw this old couple I didn't recognize at the wake of a close relative. They turned up to the wake and helped themselves to the buffet. They just talked to each other over a plate of food. Once they finished eating, the woman took a large Tupperware tub out of her bag and proceeded to fill it up. It was so full she had to lean on the top to seal it up. They then left without saying anything to anyone. Later, our family talked about it, and we all wondered who they were and assumed they were known to the rest of the family. No one said anything to avoid making a scene. Always wondered who they were until I saw them at another funeral a couple of years later in a nearby town. I asked someone if they knew who they were and learned that they were local and known for attending funerals to take advantage of the food. They would crash funerals for a free meal and help themselves to leftovers! I’m still not sure if I should be offended or amazed at their audacity."
—Anonymous
12."My cousin died of cancer, and at the open casket funeral, they posed him with a pack of cigarettes in one hand and his cellphone in the other. As I was kneeling in front of the casket, just absolutely flabbergasted at how tacky it was, the phone of the person behind me rang. I nearly jumped out of my skin."
—Anonymous
13."My cousin died in her 20s from cancer. She had been sick for a long time and was very religious. That’s why we were surprised when she wanted a guy we had never heard of to do the eulogy instead of her preacher. Come to find out, he was her secret lover! He knew everything about everyone at the funeral, but no one knew about him. My cousin just wanted to have one final hat trick on us."
—Anonymous
14."When my maternal grandfather died, family tensions were running pretty high. Most of it had to do with money; nasty rumors began floating around, and it happened just a few days before Christmas. While most of the adults were running around planning things, they were also trying to keep us kids entertained and in the dark about various dramas. We all dealt with things in different ways, but my dad's way of doing it was apparently goofing off. During the visitation, he scooped up a handful of hard candy from a nearby bowl and kept insisting my cousins and I take some. It became this game of him playfully pushing it at us while we pushed him away while we tried not to let the adults see us laugh. Finally, someone knocked his hand, and the candy went flying TOWARD THE OPEN CASKET and all over the floor. No one said anything, but it was not my proudest moment, but tbh, I think my grandfather would have found it hilarious."
—Anonymous
15."We all knew my paternal grandfather got around. He was on wife number eight when he died on the operating table. My own father didn’t meet him until he was in his 20s. As the service was about to start, they had closed my grandfather’s casket, when a middle-aged man hustled down the church aisle. He was wearing one of those cheap fur coats, and he stood in front of the casket. He demanded that they open it so he could 'look at his daddy.' I remember gasping and looking at my siblings thinking, 'Who does this?' When it became apparent he wasn’t sitting down until they did it, a few ushers came forward and opened it. The guy gazed down at my grandfather almost as if he needed to make sure he was dead, then he turned and left. I haven’t seen that guy since."
—Anonymous
—Anonymous
16."At my grandmother's funeral, someone brought a small dog and kept her in her purse. Every time she hugged someone, the purse would start shaking and barking. Then, the dog was walked around the funeral home during the service."
—Anonymous
17."I went to the funeral for a man whose family requested that his childhood pastor give the sermon. The family didn't realize that the pastor had become much more conservative than he was when he was younger. The pastor spent the bulk of the sermon railing against divorce while the man's ex-wife sat in the second row."
—Anonymous
18."At my maternal grandmother's funeral, my mom STOOD UP at the podium with her BRAND NEW (and FIFTH) husband, and they professed their love to and for each other for an EXCESSIVE amount of time. This was in front of my dad (her second ex-husband) and everyone else, including the family that was there to MOURN my grandmother. So…that happened."
—Anonymous
19.And finally, "I walked into a funeral for my husband’s cousin. I was ahead of him, and I stopped dead in my tracks because the deceased was displayed on a twin bed. A sleigh bed. Blankets, pillows, and all. I was in shock. I looked at him and said, 'What the fuck?!' We sat through the funeral, and afterward, we never spoke of it again."
—Anonymous
