Sit Back And Dig In To People Sharing The Little Secrets That They've Kept From Other People Their Entire Lives
Everyone's got secrets — not huge, life-ruining secrets, but little things they've preferred to keep to themselves — that they will likely take to their grave.
Until now! U/MrBowls recently asked the people of Reddit, "What’s a harmless/non-serious secret you’ve kept forever?" Hey, maybe this will convince you to unburden yourself of a few secrets, too:
1."My friend is a major Death Cab for Cutie fan. They came to our city a couple years ago, and I knew she wouldn’t be able to afford tickets. She was upbeat about it, but I know she was devastated — so I bought tickets and, two days before the show, I told her that the friend I originally planned to take couldn’t go. There was no other friend, but I told her I loved the band and would be sad to miss them. She, of course, accepted the tickets, and she had the time of her life. Every couple of Christmases or birthdays, she gets me some Death Cab merchandise because 'She knows how much I love the band.' I can’t stand their music. I literally have them blocked on Spotify. But now, it’s gone too far, so I can’t tell her."
—u/chernygal
2."On the day of the wedding to my late wife, the ring got stolen out of my car. I was freaking out. My two best men took a picture I had, went to jewelry stores explaining what had happened, and asked if they had a ring that was similar. They went to this really great jewelry maker who worked his ass off and got it done with about an hour to spare. The three of us are the only ones who know. I ended up using that jewelry maker for any jewelry I needed, especially after he told my best men to not worry about the price and for me to come down after the honeymoon to work it out. He's a great guy. He retired during COVID."
—u/UtahCyan
3."My mum is a health nut who wouldn’t let us have cheese in the house when I was a kid. When I was in my 20s, I bought a unit, and my dad was helping me fix stuff up, so I provided lunch. I said to him, 'I bet you’re going to hate going back to work next week and not have any cheese on your sandwiches.' It was then that he told me his deepest secret: He had been buying blocks of cheese at work for years. I had no idea he was crafty, and my mum still doesn’t. Poor dad has been retired for years, though, so I'm not sure on the current cheese consumption status."
4."I convinced my sister I had entered us both in a blog giveaway and that I won a coupon but she won the grand prize, which was a $300 gift card to Lane Bryant. My sister desperately needed new clothes, but she'd spend money on her baby grandkids and adult daughters. It was the only way I could make sure she spent it on herself. It’s been 10 years. She’s doesn’t know."
5."I came home late at night drunk and decided to walk my dog. Just when we arrived outside my house, my dog attacked a raccoon hanging around the area. I freed the raccoon from his jaws, and after the raccoon just stared at me, I decided to try and pet it. It took a chunk out of my finger. I ran into the house, leaving a trail of blood up to my brother's room for help. A sleepless night in the hospital and four consecutive rabies shots later, everyone asked me what happened, and I just told them that I heroically wrestled my dog to save the raccoon and I got bit in the process. They still don't know the real story. It still gets brought up 10 years later."
6."When my wife died, she had been working on 'special occasion' letters for all of our kids. Toward the end, the cancer had spread to her brain, and she wasn’t able to focus on writing much, and when she did, it was often unintelligible gibberish. I tried to help her by taking dictation, but she said it would mean more if it was in her own handwriting. She slipped into a coma and died after only getting through a handful of letters for our eldest child, leaving addressed envelopes only for our other two kids. I knew this would be devastating for the three kids, so I paid a woman who specialized in calligraphy to literally duplicate my wife’s handwriting. My kids don’t know, and I’ll take it to my grave."
7."In 2009, my best friend was struggling to pay rent when his TV broke. I bought him a 42-inch HDTV for over $1,000. I knew he'd never accept me spending that much as a gift, so I took it out of the box and put a few small scratches on the back of it and told him I bought a new TV and that he could have my old one that I didn't use anymore. He's doing way better now financially, but he has no idea I did that, and I will never tell him."
—u/Samisoy001
8."When my brother was 4, he won a stuffed animal from a claw machine, and it was his favorite thing ever. He slept with it every night for weeks, but one night, he left his stuffed animal on the floor, and the dog decided to tear it to pieces during the night. I spent $40 trying to win another one, and I put it under his bed for him to find."
—u/minimegs2023
9."As a previous nanny, I've seen many first steps and heard many first words, but I never share that. When I leave, I say something like, 'I think the little one is soooo close to walking/talking!' It's a special moment parents deserve; who am I to take that from them? One baby was walking with me for a full two weeks before he showed his new trick to his parents."
—u/griddles96
10."In 1998, I had a friend who was stuck in a very toxic situation at her home. She had an opportunity for a new start across the country in Oregon. She had a Dodge Neon that was hanging on for dear life and decided to pass on the opportunity, for fear the car wouldn’t make the trip. I told her I had a friend that was a mechanic that owed me a favor and he would give the car a tune-up for free. I didn’t really have a friend that was a mechanic. We were both 18 with not much money, but I used all of my savings to pay to have her car made road-worthy for the trip. She’s a mother of four now, with a great job and thriving in Oregon."
—u/04Z51Vette
11."My mom won a prize from SiriusXM at the beginning of the pandemic that never arrived, even after she followed up. She had been so excited to win something for the first time that I finally found a record store with the items she won, paid for them, and arranged with them to use a generic shipping label and include an apology for the delay. She loved her prize and 'forgave' them for the delay."
—u/AtlantaTJ
12."Several years ago, I was in a new relationship. In my grogginess in the morning while still in bed, I forgot my boyfriend had slept over the night before, and I just let one rip super loud. Instantly, he is awake. The bed creaks, and I remember he is there and am somewhat mortified until he nearly immediately tells my dog, also in the bed, that he will take him outside to poo as I pretend to still be asleep. He takes him outside, and later when I am awake, he tells me about my dog's crazy fart. I let my pup take the fall."
13."When I was about 15 or 16, I had a sleepover with about 10 of my friends and my sister. I decided to have some fun with them, and I pretended to sleep talk. They recorded it on a cassette tape, and I figured it would just be a fun harmless prank. Well, nearly 30 years later, they still keep bringing it up. They still don't know that I was faking, and I don't know how to tell them at this point because so much time has passed. That tape is still floating around. I hate it when they bring it up, and they think it's because I'm embarrassed about sleep talking, but the reality is it was just a stupid prank I played when I was a teenager, and I just never in a million years thought that it would still be going three decades later."
—u/jenglasser
14."My best friend streamed on Twitch for a year, and I was all of her viewers. She regularly streamed to one viewer (me), so I made multiple accounts and pretended to be a stranger who would talk to us during streams. I gave them different personalities, different ways of speech, and different backgrounds. I even created Discord chats to make them seem believable. Eventually, she gained a following, and later she stopped streaming altogether. She still doesn't know."
15."Dad, I lied that day in kindergarten when I said I had a tummy ache and needed to go home. I was totally fine. I was just super bored and wanted to spend time with you."
16."I farted in class, and a friend started yelling about the air conditioner having a bad smell. He suspected a bird or a mouse died there. Finally, we all had to move to continue the class in another room. Until this day, no one in this group knows that I farted."
17."I had just got my license, and I was kind of an idiot. It was snowing, and I tried to drift my car into a McDonald's parking lot. I failed and went down an embankment into another parking lot. Thankfully, my car was mostly OK — I had to replace a quarter panel and a headlight, but nothing too serious. I told my parents I was avoiding a head-on collision and hit black ice. I've never told them the truth, even though it's been 20 years. I could tell them, and they wouldn't really care, but I just haven't, and I probably never will."
—u/FluxKraken
18."I've had type 1 diabetes since I was 3. On my 9th birthday, my grandma made a birthday cake for me, which was big enough for us all to share at the family party. Since there was so much food, we had plenty of leftover cake for the next few days, which I was only allowed to eat a little bit of. When no one was around, I snuck into the kitchen and ate a couple slices of the leftover cake and picked huge chunks of the icing off. My parents soon found the remains. Since I'm diabetic, they didn't suspect that it was me who picked at the leftovers. They blamed it on our chubby cat, because she'd stolen human food in the past. Sadly, they threw the rest of the cake out. I could never own up to it because I would have been in trouble for compromising my blood sugar levels, and for being greedy! My old cat never ratted me out for letting her take the blame, though. Thanks Molly, RIP!"
—u/crumpetboots
19."My dad is a doctor. When my daughter was little, she was terrified of hurting her ankle. Any time she got the slightest twinge or rolled it slightly, she was convinced it was broken. My dad would take her to the office and run a fetal heart Doppler over her little ankle and tell her it was an X-ray machine and her ankle was fine. She’s 13 and still convinced that papa took actual X-rays of her ankle. I’m never going to tell her otherwise."
And finally...
20."I once told a girl I was dating that I loved the dish she cooked for me. In reality, it was terrible. Twenty-five years later, my wife is still cooking it at least once a month because it's my 'favorite.' I've never been able to tell her, but now, I've let my 8-year-old daughter in on it. She'll prance up to my wife and say, 'Let's cook Daddy's favorite tonight!' Then she turns around and looks me dead in the eye with a shit-eating grin on her face."
—u/Rescuepoet
Got your own? See you in the comments!
These entries have been edited for length and clarity.
