"I Wish I Could Have Met Her": People Are Revealing The Exact Moment They Realized Their Mom Was "Just A Girl," And I Literally Can't Stop Crying

The Barbie movie moved many to tears (myself included) due to its takes on girlhood, womanhood, and motherhood. In fact, after watching the film, I saw this tweet, and it took me completely out:

Twitter: @alaiasmuse / Backgrid

With that reminder permanently seared into my brain, I went ahead and asked the BuzzFeed Community to share a moment that made them hyper-aware that their mom used to also just be a little girl with hopes and dreams. Here are some of the most touching and eye-opening responses:

1."My mom is an absolute Disney World fan, and I adore that so much about her. She had a rough childhood, and I feel like her inner child gets so happy every time we go to the park. I obviously wasn't around when she was a young girl, but I really want to help my mom embrace the youth she didn't get to have."

2."My mom caught me smoking pot when I was 16, and told me about how she experimented with it as a teenager as well. It was such an eye-opener for me because as a mother, she’s always been so straight-laced."

—emlenz5

3."It was when I was potty-training my first kid. I was 21 when I had him — by that age, my mom had already had three kids, having had her first kid at 16. I was crying and frustrated with the potty training, so I called her. She just laughed at me and told me to take a breath. She said that no one was forcing me to potty-train him at 2 years old. That if he’s not ready, then it’s okay. I then asked if my oldest brother was 'ready' when she started to train him, and she told me that neither of them were ready. It seemed like they were both pissing their pants every day...but one day at a time is all anyone can do. At that moment, I just pictured myself trying to do anything mom-related at 16!! It hit me that she gave up so much for us. That she was a little girl — a child — when she was thrown into motherhood."

—lamamama56

4."I found out my mom was just a girl after having my first kid. My whole life, I really thought she was some version of Superwoman. There was nothing she couldn't do. I swear, I never saw her use the bathroom, I never saw her shave — yet she had the smoothest skin. She could beat anyone on Chopped or Top Chef, making anything out of nothing. She was so strong to me. She was a great wife, mom, and friend. She had four kids and seemed to hold it together so well. To me, she was perfect, partly because she hid a lot of her life from us."

5."I realized my mom was 'just a girl' when I saw her in a leather skirt, a small tank top, black tights, and boots. I had to have been about 7 years old and thought she looked so COOL, like the people dancing on MTV. I asked where she was going, if Dad was going to watch us, and what was going on. She said she was going to see a man sing onstage that she really liked from when she was a teenager (it was Rod Stewart). That memory of her looking so badass always stuck with me, and when I was older, I brought it up, and she said she couldn't believe I remembered that. She still has that skirt! Anyway, we bonded a lot over that and got each other into all kinds of music and artists. My hot mama."

—morgan_le_slay

6."I love my mother, and I love my father, too. Their relationship has had its ups and downs, but they’re still together. When I was in high school, I found out that before my mom met my dad, she dated a guy for a whole 10 years, and they only broke up because he wouldn’t propose. I remember feeling heartbroken for my mother and really saw her as a young heartbroken girl for the first time ever. I often wonder if she would have been happier had she married him, and if she ever wishes she married him instead of my dad. I was able to see her as just a vulnerable girl who had had a whole life unbeknownst to me. She had loved and laughed and flirted, and had big feelings just like other girls."

7."It was when my mom told me all about how she dropped out of art school to work as a ranch hand in Texas, saved money, spent it all to move to France and live on a boat, and traveled around Europe and the Caribbean until she was in her 40s. It made me realize and appreciate so much more the woman that my mother is. Her stories are amazing, BTW. I wish I could have met that girl."

8."The moment she was diagnosed with dementia. I could see the light leave her eyes; I could see her dreams tear apart. The moment it was confirmed, I watched the little girl in my mom become pained with despair. My mother was the only stable adult I ever had in my life. She was our everything — a single mom, young and pretty, in Miami, raising two kids alone. She did it all, and she did it successfully. She worked her way up the corporate ladder as an immigrant. She put her kids first, always! She gave up who she was to make sure we had everything we needed AND wanted. She didn’t remarry until well after we kids left the house..."

"...After her diagnosis, and the sudden death of my stepfather, I had to dig through boxes of documents. In those boxes, I found my mother's dissertation. My mom, who didn’t go to college and had to work her way up from the bottom to the top of her career. As I read it, I found the science nerd in my mom. (I say 'nerd' affectionately. I am also a nerd and proud of it.) I was in shock as I read her paper, only to realize this was her high school graduation paper. My mom was SO smart, and I could see for the first time ever that my mom had dreams. My mom struggled so much in my life, and I never got to know her the way I wanted to. Having to get to know my mom through her dementia, by going through her things, felt so intrusive. I felt horrible every time I had to open a new box, but then, I’d learn another bit about her that I never knew — the happy times, the friends she had, the boys who went after her, the parties she danced at."

9."I remember my parents going through a really rough time. Seeing my mom cry was very rare (she is a Scorpio through and through). During this time, I saw her break down for what felt like the first time, and she said to me, 'I just want my mom.' It didn’t even dawn on me that she could’ve felt like that — that she could be just like me, looking for her mother during her darkest moments. It changed the way I saw her forever."

—DJ

10."Over the years, I saw pieces of my mom's life and what it was like before I came into the picture. However, like most kids, I didn't stop and give it too much thought. It wasn't until she passed away last year that all those snippets of life came together for me. While going through her possessions, I found photos, drawings, clothing, and projects from her youth. This was her life as a young girl, teen, and young woman — not just my mom. I think she kept many of these things because they spoke to who she was. I would give anything to be able to sit down with her and, for each item, ask her to tell me about them. We grow old too soon; we become smart too late."

11."I was probably around 9 or 10 years old. We had been arguing about something, and my mom was really upset. She was crying and said, 'There's a person in here!' while pointing to her heart. I felt so awful and immediately ran over and gave her a huge hug. That moment opened my eyes, and I remember thinking later about how she's a whole person with thoughts, feelings, emotions, and experiences — not just my mom."

—Alyssa, 34, Wichita, Kansas

12."I can't tell you the exact moment, but I had to be in middle school — around the time when people start asking you what you want to be when you grow up. I realized that my mom had never gotten to do what she dreamed of her entire life. She wanted to work in the church, but in the South, women in leadership aren’t accepted or recognized as clergy pretty much ever. She was so smart, dedicated, kind, and tolerant. Nobody could've filled that role more than her. When I realized she’d had that dream taken away from her completely, I suddenly saw that she was another girl in the world, literally just trying to make it, and getting shit taken from her for no good reason at all."

13."My mom had me at the age of 17. In a sense, we grew up together, which I never fully realized until looking back at my high school graduation pictures. The one photo that sticks out the most is a picture of her seeing me after the ceremony. It's not the best quality as it is a candid shot, but you can just feel how proud she was through this picture. At the moment, I just felt happy that I made it through high school and made my mom proud, but now I KNOW why she was proud. Not only did I graduate, but the person SHE created accomplished something she never got the chance to do. It's nice to look back on and just feel good to actually know she was proud of herself that day as well."

—MaryJane, 25, Kansas

14."My mother sat me down one day when I was 20. I was a little worried because 'we need to talk' is never about anything good. But I was wrong. She wanted to tell me that before she met and married my father, she'd already been married once before. She was young and still in college when she met him. After they both graduated, my mom didn't feel like she had a choice except to marry him. She had no particular direction in life, and no one in her family supported her leaving him. All she wanted was for her own mom to look her in the eyes and tell her she didn't have to do this. But she never did. The marriage was short-lived and a bad idea from the start. He constantly left her alone to go out with his own friends, and she had no support system because he moved them back to his hometown..."

"...After one night full of poor decisions from the both of them, my mom finally left. She didn't take anything with her in the divorce, and she never looked back. The part that kills me, though, is how little my family seemed to care about my mom and her feelings. She found out later that her sister and her husband still talked to her ex-husband. When she asked them why, they told her that they felt like they lost a friend when she divorced him. They didn't stop talking to him until years later."

15."When I was in high school, my mother showed me photos of her childhood. My mother has short, curly hair, and she has never been able to grow it past three inches. In one of the childhood photos, she was wearing a long ponytail that didn't match the rest of her hair, so I asked why that was. She replied that it was a clip-on ponytail that she loved so much as a kid because it made her finally feel pretty like other girls. Her eyes welled with tears, and it suddenly occurred to me that my mom is just another girl, like me, comparing her beauty to society's bare, unimaginative ideas of beauty. She can't even see how beautiful she is, just because her hair will never look like a long, thick braid. I am a little haunted now every time I look at her, because I perceive her to be as radiant as the sun, but I know she doesn't see that."

—Anonymous

16."I realized my mom was just a girl when I took her to see her idol, Paul Anka, when she was 79 years old. We were driving in the carpool lane, passing everyone on their way home from work, music blasting. She started laughing and waving as we flew by. When she turned to look at me, she looked 16 years old — happy and giggling — and it felt like being with her when she was a teenager. It was such a beautiful moment; I'll never forget how she looked."

17."There were several times growing up when I had become somewhat aware of my mom being a whole other individual before, but it didn't truly sink in until all of us kids were fully grown with families and my grandma passed (my mom was her sole caregiver for years beginning immediately after my youngest sibling turned 18). The way my mom blossomed into who she truly was and found what she truly enjoyed doing without the heavy responsibility of having to give all her time and energy to care for everyone else was very bittersweet. It made me so happy to see her find herself, but so sad that she had to wait until her 50s to do so."

"Realizing that her finally finding herself meant that, at some point, she had lost herself was a huge wakeup call, because I realized I'd done the same thing. It's so hard for us as women to prioritize ourselves, especially since we are natural nurturers. But knowing that my daughter also sees me sacrificing my own identity (and would probably end up unknowingly doing the same thing as an adult) has lit a fire under me to truly focus on self-care and the boundaries around that — not only for my own benefit, but to also set an example for her."

—Amy, 39, Oregon

18."When my mom talked about losing her college scholarship. She was a minister’s daughter, and her scholarship was taken away when she married my dad, as she was now the responsibility of her husband’s family. My dad was going to school through the GI Bill, and his family couldn’t afford to support him, let alone his wife. She went the traditional path and worked to help pay the bills until my dad graduated. After that, she became a stay-at-home mom, raised six kids, and was active in the church and community. Finally, once the kids were grown, she was able to work outside the home as a special needs classroom aide. But what could she have done if she’d gotten her degree?"

19.Lastly: "Watching my mom deal with her own mother, who is now developing dementia, and seeing my mom wrestle with the reality that she will NEVER get the validation she clearly craves from her mom, has made me realize that at her core, my mom is also just a profoundly hurt daughter. All the things I knew factually about her before — that she was class president growing up, a cheerleader, and made straight A's — make perfect sense now. Everything she did was aimed at making her mom proud of her. And I don’t know if she EVER got that. I don’t think my grandmother EVER just told my mom that she was proud of her — and now she never will."

"I see my mom being really angry and impatient with my grandmother, but I see that underneath is just a girl who is hurting because her mother never really made her feel loved or expressed being proud of her. (I am lucky because my mom definitely gave that to me, and I am resolved to ensure my daughter, now almost 3, NEVER doubts that I love her and am so proud of her.)"

—Lex, 36

Not even going to lie, I did tear up after reading these stories. If you've ever had a striking moment when you realized your mom had a whole other life prior to becoming your mom, share it with us in the comments or in this Google form.

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.