People Are Sharing Their "It's Me, Hi, I'm The Problem, It's Me" Moments In Their Relationships, So At Least They're Aware
Look, it's hard to admit when you're wrong, but if you never did, there'd be no room for you to grow and mature as a person.
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Reddit user u/Random_Stuff10 recently asked, "When was the moment you realized you were the problem in a relationship?"
1."Being with my husband made me realize that chaos is not the same thing as love and passion. I almost lost him because I craved chaos. I'm glad I started going to therapy and figured this out before I did anything there was no coming back from. Now that I'm a mom, it's even more important to model healthy emotional behavior."
2."About the time I cheated. That's not an excuse, and I should have just left him, but it is what it is. I take full responsibility for the failure of that marriage."
3."When I realized I had changed my entire personality over the course of seven years to fit what I believed he wanted, to the point where I was never genuinely or authentically me. I was a people-pleaser and codependent, and those became control issues really quickly. I was constantly trying to control how he felt about me."
4."When I realized that they never felt comfortable coming to me with their problems."
5."When I thought about our breakup more and realized I screwed up letting him go. I was way too picky, and I was going to let go of a good thing because I decided it wasn’t exactly what I imagined and that great just wasn’t good enough for me. Because of that, I hurt someone who I really cared about."
6."When I noticed different people all had the same behaviors that led me to want to end things or cause tension. In similar situations, when it came to dating, I noticed a complete disregard for me, and it was all about them. I did the most to be liked by them, but they weren't doing crap. Then, I spotted the pattern: All my exes grew complacent, would not put in effort for me, and disregarded my needs in the relationship. It was because my boundaries become paper thin, and I lost them more and more for the person I liked. I took on the chill girl persona, got walked on, and lost myself in other people. So, I am in therapy and dating, and so far so good. I am looking for actual effort, not gestures and going slow."
7."The silent treatment was strong on my end."
8."When I was bringing problems I had with my ex into our relationship. I had to take a step back and really realize this man isn’t him; he hasn’t done those things, and he shouldn’t be punished for the things my ex has put me through. It's easier said than done, though!"
9."When my ex-husband left me. Yep, I'm not very self-aware apparently."
10."When I couldn't stop doubting due to my past relationships, and it was too tough to trust, and I hurt that person. We had to end it as I needed to work on myself. But later, I also got to know I was right, and he was actually hiding a lot of things. So, it was wrong to keep doubting and pestering, but glad we ended. Now, I'm in a happy relationship where I never get any signs to doubt him."
11."When I realized that I heard the same feedback from different partners."
12."I think we were both the problem, but I blamed him for my behavior. I turned sour for a handful of reasons, and instead of being emotionally mature about it, I just blamed his behaviors for mine."
13."When I realized that I needed him to be everything in my life."
14."It took me so long to understand that I don't have to be right, and don't have to win the argument. The value of a conflict is the potential to learn something new."
15."Sadly, after the relationship ended. I'm much more mature these days, and I've turned my regret and guilt into fuel for being a better person to my current significant other. Change is hard but possible if you want it. I used to feel bad knowing my exes hated me, and I couldn't show them I've grown, but now, I'm just being the best version of me I can. I still feel bad for being so awful to some of my exes, though."
16."When I saw the look on his face after what I said. I have since made a conscious effort to wait until I have calmed down to speak about what's bothering me. This helps me not say something in anger."
17."When I went through his phone, then he came back and noticed an app was open that wasn’t before. Then, I lied about it for a solid six hours before I fessed up."
