28 Stories About Life Just Being Sooo Much Easier For "Pretty" And "Thin" People That Will Honestly Make You So Mad
Recently, we wrote about examples of "pretty privilege" and "thin privilege," and now we're back for more stories. Here are 28 people from the BuzzFeed Community* who witnessed pretty or thin privilege in action.
*Along with a few from the original Reddit thread.
1."Pretty privilege is 100% a thing despite people saying it's not. I'm 'too skinny' (no boobs, just bones), but also ugly. I get treated like shit all the time. My sister on the other hand? she can do no wrong in peoples eyes because she *is* pretty. During my school years the pretty girls could do anything they wanted and get away with it (like 'oh, she was probably just tired and forgot her homework :)'). Meanwhile, I got yelled at for everything."
"Pretty privilege sucks ass because like...what am i supposed to do? Change my face?"
2."I remember applying for a summer job and being told that I was to man the till, and help out customers etc. Day one of reporting to work, they reassigned me to stocking shelves and doing inventory — back of house stuff. When I asked why, the manager hesitated before saying my face was 'too serious' and that customers prefer 'friendlier, happier faces.'"
"Being a kid, I shrugged it off and went about my reassigned duties but guess who ended up helping out at customer service and the till a lot in the end? Me. Why? Because the person they assigned to my original post didn't have two braincells to rub together — they were atrocious at basic arithmetic even though the till was basically a calculator; they never remembered the shop's layout so couldn't direct customers were to go; never remembered the process for refunding items etc. etc. But hey, because they had a 'friendly' aka 'pretty' face, they got put at the front of house."
3."In the gay community, hot guys can do or say literally anything they want, even with an absolutely nasty personality, and they’ll still have a whole group of starry-eyed guys fawning over them. If you’re average—or God forbid, not even average—you’re either treated like you’re invisible (if you’re lucky), or treated like garbage (which is usually the case), regardless of anything else you may have going for you. Don’t even get me started on the complicated race and class strata enforced on top of all this. Nobody really talks about it, but it’s the reason I sort of scoff/laugh anytime some activist says the community is 'supportive.' I mean it is, if you’re a hot, rich white guy."
4."I remember going to a restaurant with another unattractive person and our attractive friend. Waitress comes over and tells us the specials and takes our order and goes on her merry way. Just a regular busy waitress. My good looking friend goes, 'what a bitch.' We put it together that he isn’t used to women NOT making flirty small talk with him. So if they didn’t do that, they we’re apparently 'a bitch.'"
"We immediately told him he was ridiculous. And he knows we’re right. But he won’t admit it."
5."I have a male friend who is objectively extremely attractive. We went out one time and a female server held the door open for him and fucked him with her eyes the whole time he walked past. She didn’t even see me walking. It’s wild I’ve never had a single person look at me like that in my life and it’s just his daily. We live in different worlds."
6."I’m on the Central Advisory Committee for my department at school as the graduate student representative. We regularly see a pattern where traditionally attractive*, cisgender, white male (and sometimes female) [instructors] get higher student evaluation scores than anyone else. 'Unattractive,' fat, BIPOC, and ESOL instructors regularly receive lower scores across the board."
"This is a problem. Our solution isn’t perfect—as solutions rarely ever are—but we actually look at what students are saying in their evaluations to warrant such low numbers. The comments are often pretty awful. Another thing: the scores aren’t weighed too high in merit. Finally, instructors have a chance to write a narrative piece explaining student evaluations, especially if they had a semester of particularly testy students.
*How do we know attractive people got better scores? Remember when the hotness score using chili peppers on Rate My Professor was a thing? THIS is how we know."
7."After being heavy my whole life, I did Weight Watchers in my early 30s and lost 40 pounds. At the time, I was working in a job that was sometimes strenuous. Multiple times before I lost weight, I had to lift or move something large in an public place, and no one offered assistance. After I lost weight, there were always guys around who were willing to help."
"I found it kind of disgusting...if you aren't willing to help a larger woman, don't offer to help me either. I'd rather make do by myself."
8."Does anyone else remember those TikTok trends where skinny pretty women were eating like three Big Mac meals or full pizzas in one sitting and the comments were full of people praising them for being able to put that much food away? Plus other skinny people in the comments swearing they could eat more? Bulimia suspicions aside, let’s recognize all the people who couldn’t be seen eating two regular pizza slices or a junior burger without all types of abuse hurled at them 'out of concern for their health.'”
9."If pretty, popular girls bully someone average in school they will get away with it every time. Five girls attacked me at the same time and I was the only one with injuries. They didn’t get punished. I did."
10."My weight fluctuates due to depressive episodes and I 100% see a stark difference in social interactions. Lots of eye contact and casual touching when I am skinnier. When babies stare at me in public places like grocery stores I always smile and wave and when I am skinny parents tend to say things like 'say hi to the nice man' or some such pleasantries and when I am larger people tend to need something in the other aisle immediately."
11."I remember going up to a bar with a friend and ordering the same drinks (we were clearly together). He gave her the free one (I presumed we both got it free), as I started to walk away with her, the man called back IN FRONT OF EVERYONE and singled me out to pay for my drink. It was very obvious that we were together when buying the drink and chatting to each other. She got away with it because she was pretty, I didn’t."
12."I wouldn't say I'm a 10 at all and I'd say I'm okay looking. People say I'm pretty but I'm as insecure as they come. Anyway, I work with all men in the trades. The one thing I hate is that I get assigned a task and the men that want to play hero, will take over my task or not give me a chance to lift something heavy on my own. I can never prove myself because they feel like they need to be the hero. ... They always want to give me the dainty, easy tasks."
"I asked one coworker if the guys talk poorly about me and all he said was...well they only say you're not very strong. They see me as a weak little doll who can't do anything. Its degrading and they see me as delicate."
13."I think it's just an overall feeling of being invisible to the world around you. It's like people don't want to look at you so they pretend you don't exist, because I guess you have to be perfect looking to be worthy of other people's time. It's even worse when it comes from people who are also not conventionally attractive. Like, buddy, we're in the same boat. Treating me like this won't get the pretty people to notice you. And i hate to say it, but it is mostly men who act this way. Women, even really beautiful ones, are more often a lot kinder, or at least able to pretend lol. Men will just straight up treat you like trash if they don't think you're fuckable."
14."My experience/example: I am a female actor who is overweight and not blonde. In undergrad, my professors loved me in class, and never cast me in shows. The other actors who were skinnier, blonde, and sopranos got cast... despite how much the professors lamented that they had no discipline, skipped class, and had horrible attitudes. I *still* wasn't considered for age-appropriate roles, even after graduating — until I lost a bunch of weight (40-50 pounds) and turned my hair into a bag of croutons by dying blonde over and over and OVER."
15."I’ve noticed that people are more patient with my stutter. My sisters boyfriend is…not conventionally attractive and he stutters too. Some people just outright ignore him. Pisses me off that double standard exists."
16."I’m not an attractive man as I’m pushing forty, but in the early 2000s as a college kid I believe I was considered fairly attractive in my school/area. I think I had a large advantage being a tall Pacific Islander in nowhere Ohio. Toss in a healthy dose of false charisma actually driven by a constant desire to be liked and popular and…A few random advantages I had: Discounts on food and drinks constantly when out with friends if being served by a young or middle aged female. I once somehow managed to get the TGIF waitress to bring our table chips and salsa when it wasn’t even a menu item in exchange for a date."
"Being a male asked on dates. Lots of them. Back then social media was barely a thing so exchanging numbers and texting was pretty much my regular routine and it worked.
Making clothes look good vs them making me look good. As I aged and my metabolism gave up on me while my eating habits stayed committed I noticed this more and more. This is the only thing I miss. Now I'm trying to wear clothes that hide more than reveal.
I promise I'm not gloating. I honestly regret how I acted because it taught me to be manipulative and selfish more than anything. Thankfully my wife saw past my insecurities and has brought out the best me these past 15 years. Even if the best me is 45lbs heavier."
17."I was at a bar with some friends and this American guy (I’m from Spain) started talking and flirting with my friend who was stunning, but she didn’t understand English so she just smiled. The guy kept going, then I told him in English that she didn’t understand anything he was saying. He ignored me. He wouldn’t stop talking to her and my friend looked uncomfortable so I told him again that it was useless and he looked at me with a disgusted face and told me to fuck off, that he wasn’t trying anything with ME, but with my friend. For the record, I’m fat, she obviously was not. They are willing to try and get a girl even if she doesn’t speak their language just because she is hot."
"That was the most defining experience of the pretty/thin privilege that I’ve lived and it just made me feel like shit."
18."I’ve noticed makeup makes all the difference for me…I’m a cis woman 5’10” [with] thin, nice, long hair. I guess they’d be considered conveniently attractive traits BUT if I don’t have makeup on, all bets are off for getting preferential treatment. I’ve literally seen the light and anticipation leave a man’s face when the back of my head, with my long, full, clean, freshly curled hair turn to lock eyes and meet my plain, pale face. I’ve gotten out of speeding tickets with makeup and gotten speeding tickets without it on."
"I guess it’s like my own personal social experiment. I’ve also been married for 15 years, I’m about to turn 40 and even though I really enjoy when people are kind to me, I’m getting tired that so much of my self worth is tied to my physical attributes and whether I take the time to put on mascara!"
19."As someone in the wedding industry, I’ve seen attractive couples get free wedding perks from photographers, planners, etc just because they wanted to book them, as they would look beautiful in their portfolios. 'Unattractive' couples definitely do not receive the same bend over backward attention from vendors whose portfolios are dependent on the beauty of the couple in images, features, etc."
20."When I was in high school AP English we were given an assignment of identifying every part of speech in a piece. We all had the same piece to do this to. This is literally the dumbest assignment ever. I have no idea how it was appropriate for an AP English class. My best friend of the time and I worked on it together. We had the exact same answers. ... She got a higher grade than I did. She was pretty and blonde and on the drill team so every Friday she wore a teeny, tiny drill team uniform."
21."My sister is drop-dead gorgeous and was a model while she was in high school and early in her college years. She, in more than one instance, was offered jobs she was absolutely not qualified for, free items, free food, and promotion swag. She also has the 'Halo effect' at her disposal and has often been assumed as innocent as 'someone like her could never do something like that.' She's a genuinely good person, but her accomplishments are almost always heightened due to her looks."
"She won multiple awards that wouldn't often be newsworthy, but because she is beautiful and our family is semi-affulent, she is lauded over. It's wild."
22."People offer to do [attractive people's] work for them. When I was in high school, I decided to take classes for a certification. My friend decided to do the class with me. She seemed uninterested in the class and didn't study much, the final exam day came (we do exams on the computer) and I was placed like two people over from her and this guy next to her just offers to do her exam for her and does it, then asks her out after the exam. She said she had a boyfriend and he was just like well if you ever leave him give me a call. Absolutely blew my mind. Also just want to say the class was a month long and she had never spoken to him prior."
23."I’ve experienced a lot of this, going back and forth. I was overweight for a while after having my kids, then accidentally developed an eating disorder. I went from invisible to someone people wanted to talk to. I’ve gained weight back at times and lost it again, and there is definitely a line where thinness equals beauty and privilege to people. It can really screw with your head if you have an eating disorder."
"I’ve definitely noticed that how I’m presenting myself on any given day can really change how I’m treated, as well. I like to dress pretty feminine; skirts, makeup, jewelry. Men seem really susceptible to these tricks- I’m so charming and funny and sweet when I’m dressed up. But if I’m just in the normal mom uniform of yoga pants and a sweatshirt or something, no makeup, I can easily become invisible again."
24."An old roommate and I were using the same dating app. we compared messages sometimes if we got one from the same guy ... she is a bit fuller figured. She dressed well, wore makeup well, and was more of an open personality than I was. But if a guy messaged both of us, I was more likely to have a couple hellos or heys to try to get me to respond than she would. The same guy would send one message, and if she didn't respond, he would go off almost immediately. She is pretty, I am merely cute. but the 'thinner' privilege was there."
—cb83
25.I don't know if it would be considered 'thin privilege' but I know going to the doctors with any pain is very different with thin versus fat. I am overweight and a friend of mine is very skinny! Both of us had knee pain and end result is both of us had a form of arthritis in the knee. But when I went to the doctor I was told it was because I was overweight and if I lost the weight it would get better. I then started dieting and lo and behold, knee was still hurting! My friend who is thin goes and they are ordering tests, trying to figure out what it could be. I get being overweight can cause a lot of health issues but it doesn't call ALL issues!"
26."I have a buddy who owns a company that delivers cases of equipment to hotel ballrooms for corporate events. The cases are not super heavy but there are usually delivered 10 or 15 at a time. He would usually send two guys to make the delivery until he discovered that if he sent just one attractive women, all the other male techs (working for someone else in the ballroom) would drop whatever they were doing to assist the attractive women."
27.And finally, we'd be remiss not to mention that whiteness plays a part in "pretty privilege": "If a person is white they can be less attractive than a BIPOC and still get these privileges. The same goes for being thin, especially if it's a woman. There are so many times I would hear people calling a woman 'hot' and the woman was just an average looking woman except she was thin."
"Black women have different experiences than white women, especially because of the Eurocentric beauty standard. And these experiences become more complex within the Black community because of internalized racism. A dark-skinned Black woman with more Afrocentric features vs. light skin with Eurocentric features or vice versa. Texture/length of our hair, color of our complexion, body shape, etc are all contributing factors."
28.And that there are obviously downsides to being "pretty," particularly as a woman.
"Being pretty and thin can also work against women, though. My sister has a very high-level job and being thin and pretty has made things extremely difficult for her at times, in ways it would not if she were a man. Other women are often awful to her, male colleagues hit on her — especially married men. My sister was a Fulbright Scholar, among other accomplishments, which is not an honor awarded based on appearance."
"I could be considered conventionally attractive (particularly in my 20s) and women at work always assumed I was flirting with the men, retail jobs early in adulthood I used to get creeps hitting on me and making me uncomfortable all the time. Older people at work would talk down to me and assume I didn’t know how to do something or have experience because they thought I was younger than I am."
"'She's too dumb,' 'She just got the position because she's probably f*ing the boss'...Not to count scenes of jealousy: 'I won't let my wife/husband talk to you.'"
