People Are Sharing The Moment They Knew They Had To Break Up With Their Significant Other, And My Heart Hurts
Recently, we wrote up the moments when people knew their relationship was over. But so many folks offered their own experiences in the comments that we had to share theirs, too. Here's what people in the BuzzFeed Community had to say:
We also included comments from here and here.
1."We were out of state for my cousin’s funeral. One night, our kid stayed in the other hotel room we had with my mom, and my ex basically badgered me and made me feel guilty about not wanting to have sex until I just gave in. It wasn’t the first or last time, but the fact that he did that, in that set of circumstances, is one of the many reasons I left his ass a few years later."
"At the time, I felt guilty for not being a good enough partner for him. That’s where emotional abuse can get you slowly over time. I’m just so grateful I figured it out when I did instead of wasting any more of my life with him."
2."My ex-husband was very into the 1950s (should have been a red flag) and rockabilly. He got a tattoo of me in a traditional pin-up style. He told me he'd like me better if I looked how I did on his arm."
3."I was with my last boyfriend for about a year, and he traveled a lot for work, so we really only got weekends together. For Valentine’s Day, he got a hotel room and flowers, and we ate some good food and exchanged sweet letters. The next morning, he wanted something from the front desk and was so rude he made the man cry and called him an idiot when I called him out on it."
"I told him how much it upset me, and that no matter the reason, that wasn’t okay. I left and profusely apologized to the staff (apparently, he'd been rude the whole time). I was so embarrassed, but they were all very gracious. I broke up with him because it was a deal breaker. He accused me of cheating and lying about caring about him. Neither were true — I saw his true colors, and I instantly realized he was not who I thought."
4."When he had the audacity to make a pros and cons list about me. The pros were five quick bullet points about how we had similar hobbies, senses of humor, could watch some of the same stuff together, etc. Yet the cons were these five massive paragraphs about stuff that was either a projection about himself, stuff from years ago that had already been sorted, or things that simply weren’t true."
"Mind you, I’d supported him for 13 months when he was without a job, did countless things to help his family when they went through some tough times, helped HIM get a couple of jobs, etc. So yeah, immediately broke up with him on the spot and told him I was done. Two years later, I don’t regret that decision in the slightest."
5."I was diagnosed with lymphoma, and after two months, he started having an affair. He was so unsupportive to both me and our daughter. He checked out and said he hasn’t been happy our entire marriage. I went through treatment alone, trying to save my marriage. It was hell upon hell. How do you heal after going through that?!"
6."My ex said it was fine if he cheated because I wasn’t a real woman (I’m infertile and don’t want kids either). He wanted a kid but didn’t want to look like an ass leaving me."
7."I was with my boyfriend for 11 years, from the time we were 18. Over the years, our sex life dwindled from consistent to seldom to nothing, and even basic affection dried up. He always said he felt bad that we weren't having sex, but at the same time, never initiated it. We never cuddled, and he never kissed me."
"I realized that we had a problem and made continual efforts to seduce him. I bought a sexy lingerie outfit, and when I put it on and showed it to him, the reaction I got was 'Why did you buy that?' I was so hurt and felt that there was no spark left in our relationship, and that while we were still good friends, we weren't compatible as lovers, and that I deserved better. He made me feel so undesirable and ugly. After we broke up, I met an amazing man who makes me feel so sexy and loved, and I feel so lucky every day that I met him."
8."He got drunk at family Christmas and made a sexual assault attempt at MY SISTER. He lied about it until she told me. I kicked him out that day after 22 years of marriage."
9."I knew it was over with a live-in boyfriend because MY dog died, and he called into work the next day because he claimed he was too sad to go in because of the dog. I had that dog for years before I even met him, and even I didn't take off work because we couldn't afford it. He just wanted an excuse to take off so he could get drunk."
"This was the fourth job he'd had in a year, and he was always blaming everybody else for why he couldn't keep a job. I lost all respect for him after that."
10."My ex-husband looked over at me while I was watching a video on YouTube and said, 'I wish you didn’t like...' and proceeded to list everything that brought me joy. It hit me after 11 years that he actually didn’t like or respect me. He had always been controlling, and his parents made all of our life decisions for us (he didn’t even want to hear my opinions), but this was the last straw. I asked for a divorce right then and there."
11."We were at a restaurant, and he looked around the room, saying, 'All these beautiful women...' He looked back at me and said nothing. It was all in the pointed way he made the remark and then looked deadpan at me, silently."
12."When he told me how unfair it was to him that being with me meant he could never get those romantic moonlight walks on the beach, and that’s why he cheated. I’m in a wheelchair."
13."My brother and I have a strained relationship. I expressed some things about my brother to my husband (in confidence, obviously), and my husband told my brother. Of course, my brother reacted negatively, creating a bigger rift between us. When I confronted my husband about it, his response was that I was in the wrong, and I should take accountability for what I said to him about my brother. Our divorce should be final next month."
14."I just got a new haircut that I loved. He took one look at me and said, 'Wow, I think we might see each other less until your hair grows back. I hate it and can't stand looking at it.'"
15."My husband once yelled at me for 'spending extra money' at the doctor to get a biopsy done for what the doctor thought was cancer. Didn’t care if it was cancer, was just mad about the $200. Then wondered why I didn’t want to go visit his friends that weekend."
16."Things were already kind of dying. But we were sitting on the couch together, and I noticed I was scrunched into one corner, and he was scrunched into the other corner. It was like we were unconsciously trying to get away from each other."
17."I stupidly got married at 20 years old, and he insisted on having a money dance at the wedding. The girl I was always 'worried' about was the first one lined up to dance with him, and you would think from the passion between them that they were the bride and groom! It was doomed from the beginning, and no surprise here, but he cheated on me a year later."
"It ended up being the best blessing because I was young and naive, and I probably wouldn’t have left. I’m HAPPILY married now for 15 years and have the sweetest children."
18.And finally, "My significant other was on baby duty (our son was three weeks old, and I was breastfeeding). I woke up to our son screaming and crying while my partner was completely passed out due to Xanax and red wine. I grabbed our child away from him and started yelling about how irresponsible he was. Instead of apologizing, he flipped out on me and said I was a bad mom. In that moment, I knew I could never trust him with our child, much less any others that he insisted he wanted, and love was out of the question."
Do you recall the exact moment you knew a relationship was over? Share your story in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.
