16 Times People Were Fed Up With Their Families, And For Extremely Legitimate Reasons
Reddit user u/apleaux asked the Reddit community, "Why don’t you talk to your family anymore?" Their experiences were very intense, revealing what it's really like to live in an unhealthy family dynamic.
So here are stories of people cutting off their toxic family members for good.
Note: Some stories were pulled from this Reddit thread by user u/trozei.
Warning: This post contains subjects of verbal abuse and suicide. Please proceed with caution.
1."While my mom was dying of cancer, her family turned her against me and tried to take full custody of my youngest sibling because, in their opinion, my father wasn’t fit to take care of her. My mom and dad got divorced after my mom cheated on my dad with her boss, but he was always a great dad. I got into an argument with my mom because of them. Unfortunately, she stayed mad at me up until her death. They were also petty as hell and kicked my dad out of a memorial service that was held in my mom’s apartment."
"They told my dad that she had a new partner and because of that, my dad shouldn’t be there. My dad did thankfully get custody of my younger sister, but my mom’s toxic family tried to take control of my mom’s Social Security benefits that would have helped my dad raise my sister. They were harassing my dad on a daily basis in order to get him to sign away his rights to the funds.
"I convinced my dad not to, and I blocked all of their numbers from his phone. I also blocked all of them on social media and haven’t talked to them since."
2."I haven’t spoken to anyone in my family for five years. I came from a background of abuse, both physical as well as mental and emotional. My family put the 'fun' in dysfunctional. The final straw was around the holidays five years ago: I spent my weekend working on a gift for one of my brothers. He and his wife had a baby boy in late April, and for holiday cards they sent out pictures, so I had my mom get me pictures of my brother as a baby and convinced my sister-in-law to give me baby pictures of herself, too. I bought a frame that had three spots and put three pictures of their boy in the middle and three baby pictures of each of them on either side. When I gave my brother the gift, he was mad because we agreed at Thanksgiving that we weren’t doing gifts that year. Later, he and my other brother pointed and laughed at me, calling me spoiled because I’m the youngest child."
"I didn't say anything at the moment, but the next day, I called my mom and told her I was upset. She said it was my fault because I was jealous of him. After that, I did not call any of my siblings or my mom because I wanted to see if they would bother to contact me.
"The only times I heard from them over the course of a year were my birthday, to help clean my mom’s house, and to make plans for the holidays. I decided if they couldn't pick up the damn phone once to see how I was doing, I didn't need to be a part of that."
3."My aunt through marriage is totally batshit and called the cops on us for taking my 16-year-old cousin to the dog park. We were gone for 40 minutes, my uncle knew about it, and we even mentioned we were going. They were staying at my home at the time for a short visit, so when we drove back to the house, we were really confused by the cop cars. The cops told me he felt sorry for my family because we had to deal with her. Once the cops left, I found out my aunt bit my uncle in the calf and threw my flowerpots in my home. I kicked her out that day."
4."My father was never there for me. He screamed at my mom all the time and blamed her for things she didn't do. She isn't in the best medical condition because she has epilepsy and surgery wounds, among other issues. Her medical issues got worse over the years, and my dad didn't give a damn, while I did everything I could to support her. Then the divorce came around, and suddenly he showed interest in me. Although I didn't stay with him, I gave him the chance to stay in touch with me. I was quickly disappointed when he preferred his stepson over me. I felt like the fifth wheel all the time, and it was too much to handle. I'm doing fine now because a healthy 'out of sight, out of mind' mentality helped me build up my own life."
5."When my grandmother was dying, my mom was her primary caregiver. My uncle couldn't be bothered to visit or help out except to do things like make sure her last will and testament was up-to-date. He was pissed that we got an addition on our house to add an accessible bathroom and bedroom for her, and he accused my mom of 'stealing [his] inheritance' because she accepted the offer my grandma made to put forth a little money to help with it. She maybe gave us $5,000 on an $80,000-plus renovation, but in his mind the whole thing was paid for from 'his' money."
"After my grandma died, he didn't even wait until after the funeral to start going through her apartment and taking anything of value he might be able to sell. He's just a horrible person. When he dies, I won't be at his funeral."
6."I don't talk to my sister because I got fed up with being yelled at every day. She treated me more like a servant than her little sister. She forced me to do things for her and would start by asking nicely, but then she would yell and scream. She literally thinks her opinion is fact and other people's opinions are wrong. If I thought differently from her, then I got yelled at. My other sister screams at me too. I talked to her boyfriend recently, and she is apparently still like this at the age of 24. She screamed at me for just about anything, and she would only do it when my parents weren't home. Because my mom wasn't there when it happened, she didn't know who was lying, so she did nothing about it. This was my life for 17 years."
"In my junior year of high school, I became depressed and wanted to kill myself, and after a while, I was sent to the hospital. Eventually I returned home and started outpatient treatment. I hid in a closet when I heard my sister come home, and she laughed at me for it. She said that she's there for me and I can talk to her about my problems, but I told her that she's my problem.
"So what did she do to this extremely fragile, suicidal girl? She yelled at me and accused me of lying. I couldn't take it anymore, so I ran out of the house and into the woods, passing my parents in the garden. I stayed there for an hour or so, and when I came back, I was just yelled at again. She finally moved out with her boyfriend, and now I don't need to deal with her."
7."There was a big fallout in my mother's family 25 years ago. I was a teenager when one of my uncles started dating a woman I call the puppet master because she was good at making people dance while she pulled the strings. She split the family apart by spreading lies and turning people against each other just for the fun of it. She even went so far as to call police on a guy who was reading bingo numbers in a club — she lied about him stealing money, but really, she just wanted to take over the club and kick him out. The story was blown out of proportion and even ended up in the local newspaper. Ultimately, the man was able to clear his name and started a new club elsewhere. My uncle isn’t dating her anymore, but she's still doing this to others."
8."I no longer talk to my dad. He kicked me and three friends out of his house on July 3 because he said we moved his showerhead, left a ceiling fan on, left soda cans around, and ate him out of the house even though we bought all our own food. We had a 14-hour drive back to my hometown; it was 6 p.m. and we were exhausted from the day we already had. I haven't talked to him since."
9."I only speak to my grandmother, who raised me. I don't speak to my aunt or uncle because they are the laziest people I have ever met, and they act entitled to help from others when they are perfectly capable of working and providing for themselves. I don't talk to my other aunt because when I was younger, she and my grandmother had a custody battle over me, and the things that my aunt did during that time to try to get custody of me were truly horrible to the rest of the family."
10."I haven't spoken to my father in 20 years. He wasn't there when I needed him as a kid. I only saw him once between 1969 and 1980, and in the few times I interacted with him after that, it was like talking to a stranger. I just stopped calling him, and he never called me. My brothers said my dad doesn't understand why I stopped talking to him, but there's no relationship there, so I don’t see the point."
11."I don’t speak to most of my father's family, especially my sister and my father. My sister is condescending because she thinks she's better than me, due to the fact that I had to drop out of college for mental health reasons. She always brags about how hard she works because she's getting her master's degree in education. She bullied me a lot in middle and high school, and she humiliated me while my mother shrieked at me to fight back. She would just barge in on me in my room and in the shower, and even got my friends to join in on her bullying. She treats me like I'm stupid because of my depression and social anxiety, and also talks shit about me behind my back."
"She's a mean person, and yet I was always there for her through all her issues (meanwhile, she was never there for me). My father does similar things, but so much worse."
12."I have a self-centered, dickwad cousin who is always happy to take advantage of any unwary relative. He totally destroyed the rental property our grandmother was letting him live in without paying any rent or bills, and she even gave him extra spending money from her retirement plan as a teacher. Meanwhile, he couldn’t be bothered to do even the simplest tasks to help out anyone who was helping him."
13."My biological dad was a total fuckup. From what I remember, he was a nasty drunk with numerous problems that I've stopped caring about. He wasn't living with us for a while, but one day he just left for good for a vacation to Thailand and never came home. What I didn't expect was having his entire family turn their backs on my little sister and me after he left. I was only 8 years old at the time and had been close with a majority of his family, and I didn't hear from them for years after my dad left. It wasn’t until I found out my grandfather was diagnosed with lung cancer and wasn't doing well that I got back in contact with them and visited my grandfather as often as I could. I will never forget the end of my fifth-grade year, the day I stopped trying to be a part of their family."
"It was the end-of-the-year family picnic. My cousins were in the same district, so they were there with a few of my aunts. They wouldn't look at me when my 6-year-old cousin came to tell me my grandfather had passed away weeks before and I hadn't been invited to or informed of the funeral.
"They never made eye contact with me, and my mom got me out of there before it got ugly. I honestly can't remember anything after hearing those words; I never cried so hard in my life. My mom, the best person I know, told me that family isn't blood, it's who's there for you even when it's hard."
14."When I was little, no one would bat an eye at me. My parents thought I was a simple, stupid little kid. As I got older, I made 'grown up' decisions that benefited me. Then they saw me as a threat, became jealous, and spread nasty lies. Every fiber of my being screamed to get back at each and every single one of them, but the better side of me thought I should just let my own personal success do the talking. When other people saw me for who I really am, they never said sorry, but they sort of tried to get back in my good graces. I’ve moved on with my life and I no longer worry about what other people think about me."
15."I don't talk to a specific cousin because she ruined my room. She was having a rough patch with her finances, and my parents, being the kindhearted people they are, let her have my room, kicking me out. When she left, she left behind the Christmas gifts we gave her, left the room in a huge mess, and didn't bother cleaning any of the dishes she used. So I decided, fuck this cousin, I don’t want a relationship with her."
16.And last: "My mother is an emotionally and occasionally abusive, mentally unstable religious fanatic who nearly killed me on several occasions as a child, either through neglect or intentionally. She has repeatedly stated that the decision not to abort me was the worst decision of her adult life. The instant she lost custody to my dad — who is arguably a worse person, but at least wasn't trying to kill me or something — I broke off contact. The only contact I have with her is over email, just to make sure she's not doing the same to my half sister."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
If you are concerned that a child is experiencing or may be in danger of abuse, you can call or text the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-2253 (4.A.CHILD); service can be provided in over 140 languages.
