"He Was Seeing Me The Whole Time He Was Married": 42 People Revealed How They Discovered They Were The "Other Person" In Relationships
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community who have been the "other person" in a relationship to tell us how they learned of their partner's "double life." Here are the gut-wrenching stories they shared:
1."About 50 years ago, I met this military man. We had dates, and he brought his two children along on some of our times spent together. He had told me he was divorced and had his kids every other weekend. I believed him. Then, one night, he told me we were going to his house. When we went in, a woman was watching TV. I assumed it was a babysitter. He introduced us, told her he wanted a divorce, and said he was going to marry me. We had had no conversations about our future, so I was standing there open-mouthed. She was crying. I was furious! I told them both that I wouldn't have anything else to do with him. I left, and started walking to where I had left my car. He came and told me to get in and he would take me to my car. I did, and he kept his word. I never saw him again after that night. I could not believe he had the unmitigated gall to pull something that cruel."
—Anonymous
2."I was dating a guy I'd met at the grocery store for about three months, and he still hadn't invited me to his house. He always had to go home by 9:00 p.m., saying he worked early and was taking classes online as well. I got suspicious and googled him. He didn't come up, but a woman's Facebook with the same last name did, and her Facebook picture was of her, at her baby shower, seven months pregnant, with the guy I'd been dating standing next to her wearing a shirt that said 'Baby Daddy.' I instantly texted the photo to him, and he never responded and blocked me. I never told his wife, but I'm sure he lived in fear for several months, unsure if I would."
—Anonymous
3."I had a semi-casual fling with a man that lasted almost a year. We would meet up at least once a week with the understanding that we could still date other people, and if anything got serious with anyone else, we would just be open about that. I broke it off with him when he expressed to me that he wanted our casual situation to grow into what he called a 'power couple.' I was not interested in him that way and thought it would be better to end it completely. Well, he lost it. He went off on a wild rant and revealed to me that I had been the side-chick the entire time. Not only was he in a serious relationship with another woman, they were engaged! I just stopped responding to any communication from him at that point. A couple weeks later, he sent me one last text asking me to be his date to a sex party. No thanks!"
—Anonymous
4."I was 41 and one year out from my divorce in 2010. I met a woman who worked at the post office I frequently used to ship boxes of stuff I was selling. We flirted for about four months before I asked her out. She worked an odd shift, 4:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. We would meet after her shift ended. My schedule has a lot of flexibility, so I can be free during the day. I knew she had kids, so she would go home around 4:00 p.m. to take care of them. Sometimes, her parents or her 'ex' would pick them and we would have more time together. I had a kid, too, so I understood. One weekend, I knew I wouldn't see her because she was taking her kids away. I was out shopping at Costco with my daughter, and I could hear her voice in the aisle next to mine. I hurried around the corner and saw her. Our eyes met, and I saw panic."
"She was nagging a man standing next to her pushing a cart. I was about to say something, then two young kids ran up to them. I was in shock, but I didn't want to make a scene in front of her, nor my kids. A few minutes later, I got a text from her saying she would explain on Monday when we had a date planned. I was upset, but I had my kids for the weekend and didn't want to mess up our plans. She confessed she'd been married for the whole time we'd been dating. We broke up that day. I had to go to a different post office after that."
—Anonymous
5."I had been casually seeing a guy for about three months, and one day while we were talking, he mentioned that his father had died. For some reason, later that night, I decided to try to look up his father's obituary online, which was easy to find because they had an unusual last name and shared the same first name. I was reading through it and saw this guy listed as one of the surviving family members...along with his wife and two children. I googled around and confirmed that he was indeed married with kids. So yeah, I found out through an obituary."
6."I went over for our normal Friday night date night after he had not answered my texts. We were together for about two years. His ex-wife (who subleased a spare room) called him asking why he wasn’t there for our date. His ex-wife’s current husband told me he had been seeing another girl for a few months. All the while, he kept taking me to buy him stuff for his room, including decor, for me to feel more comfortable when staying over. His ex-wife put the phone on speaker when he admitted he thought I 'got the message' when he didn’t show up for our date, though he was just an hour late and there were no previous signs. His ex-wife and her husband helped me box up all the stuff I'd bought for his room, and I left and blocked his number. He was the most heartless human I’ve ever met."
7."I knew the guy for 15 years. He was my mentor and friend. He married and had two kids. He reached out a couple years ago, and we started texting every day. It became apparent we had feelings for each other. He said he and his wife were separated and that they had never been happy or in love. It was all for the sake of having children. Normally, I would be skeptical, but we were longtime friends, and I had no reason to doubt him. He made promises, and it made sense for us to be together. About six months in, all the dominoes fell. He wasn’t really separated. He 'worked from home' jerking off to pictures of me on Facebook while his wife worked a full-time job and supported him. He talked a lot about his 'miserable wife' (he talked a lot in general, I could hardly get a word in). Why didn’t he just file for divorce? Blah, blah, blah. He had an answer for everything!"
"Anyway, after my initial shock that he was a textbook narcissist, nothing was as it seemed. He had humiliated me and turned me into a cliché. I found his wife on Facebook and told her what her scheming, sleazy husband was up to behind her back. She was clueless. The last I heard from him, he raged into my voicemail that his wife was devastated, and how could I do this to his children?! As if I had intentionally tried to hurt his family. No, I was warning his wife that the man living under her roof was using her, just as he used me. They’re still together."
8."I began a romantic relationship with a man I met three years prior. When we first met, we lived in different states. I moved to the state where he lived, but I had my own place. Although we were in the same state, we lived in separate cities about an hour’s drive apart. Two years into the relationship, he asked me to move in with him. I moved into his house, and about a month later, he got served with papers from his wife. I was the one who answered the door. He had gotten married one year after we met and was seeing me the whole time he was married."
—Anonymous
9."I was dating this 'nice guy,' and one night, I got a message online from a mutual friend that he had seen a birth announcement in the paper for the guy I was dating and his wife! I found his address online and called him from outside his house. Needless to say, he was dumped very quickly."
—Anonymous
10."I met this guy at a bar, and he was super cute. We hooked up several times at his place. Each time, something about his bedroom seemed off. It just didn't seem lived in, or like someone was in there on the daily. Fast-forward to when I accepted an invitation to his birthday party at his house. I walked through the door, and the guy immediately introduced me to his husband! I quickly concluded that he'd taken me to the guest room every time we'd gotten together, which is why it didn't seem like someone lived in there on the daily. I kept my ish together and enjoyed the party. But, I still marvel at just how bold he was with all that."
—Anonymous
11."I matched with a guy on a dating app, and after talking for a couple days, we made plans to meet up. He asked me to park down the street and text him when I parked. A lot of people in the area lived with their parents or roommates, so it didn't seem weird at the time. After I got inside, I noticed that he kept looking out the window. Then, in the middle of hooking up, he said, 'You know I have a girlfriend, right?' and while I stared at him, shocked, he admitted he also had a newborn (by another woman). The vibe was gone for me after that, so I got dressed while he was talking about us being friends with benefits. He walked me to the door, looking out of every window on the way, then rushed me out. I ran to my car and blocked him as soon as I was out of the neighborhood."
—Anonymous
12."I fell head-over-heels for this man, who, from the start, told me clearly he wasn’t into relationships. Well, then we dated for 11 months. We had mind-blowing sex, a deep connection, yada-yada. We hung out with his friends and my friends, and everyone assumed we were together. No one ever saw him with another girl. Idiot me, I thought maybe he would change his mind. Maybe I would be the one to get him to commit. Haha. Then, he moved to New Zealand for a semester, and we agreed to have an open relationship. I know, I know, but I was fine with it at the time. The deal was that we’d have fun with people and not have to tell each other unless it became serious. So, when he invited me to visit him in NZ, I assumed (haha!) that we would rekindle. Nope. Turns out he’d started dating a girl the minute he landed in NZ, kept me strung along for months while being ‘exclusive’ with her, then the MINUTE she left on holiday, he had me fly across the world to be with him."
"I’m not even sure if I’m the one he cheated on or the one he cheated with because the timelines are so messed up. All I know is, when he finished his semester, he came back, we hooked up, then he officially broke up with me the next day, and I found out a week later he was engaged. He got engaged right after my visit to him in NZ, and he dumped me just before his friends and family found out. I was devastated. Fast-forward to six months later, and he drunkenly called me to try to hook up. I told him to get wrecked. I haven’t quite forgiven myself for all the red flags I missed, but man, was he a POS."
—Anonymous
13."I was a frequent listener of a rock radio station back in the day. One night, while listening, the DJ asked an on-air question, so I called to answer. We ended up chatting it up for hours. We went on a date, and soon after, he ended up moving in with me (I know, TOO SOON!). We lived together for a few weeks until I decided to look him up on Myspace. This should tell you how old I am and how long ago this was. Why I hadn't before, I have no idea. On his Myspace page, that day, that very hour, he had changed his profile picture to one of him and his girlfriend, and he'd posted about how much he loved her. I obviously became irate and threw all of his stuff outside! He tried to explain it to me, but I wasn't believing anymore of his BS. Turns out, he had been with his girlfriend for years. Fun fact: She and I became friends after they broke up months later. We had A LOT to talk about."
—Anonymous
14."I was seeing a married man for about almost a year. He claimed (lied) that he was still in the same house with his wife because it was up for sale while in the divorce process. He would come see me at my place a lot because I work from home. So, one day, we were texting in the afternoon, heavy flirting, and after my last text, there was no response. I figured she came home from work, so he put his phone away. No big deal. A couple hours later, he called me acting like I was his buddy's wife and kept asking about his 'buddy's whereabouts.' He kept the conversation short, and we hung up. The wife called me right back and started yelling at me and cursing me out. He said it was okay for me to tell her who I was, but I just hung up and let him handle it. That was four years ago. He still emails me once in awhile, but I never respond. I am happily engaged now and definitely learned my lesson."
—Anonymous
15."I was dating a guy who worked at the same place as me for a few months (not in the same department). We would spend days off together, talk on the phone in the evening, text all the time, and even went out to a few events with other people from work. It wasn’t too serious, and I didn’t think twice about not spending tons of time together. He also never wore a wedding ring. I worked in a sort of customer service setting, and one day, this older woman came up to my window and started yelling at me. She said she was his mother and I was breaking up his marriage. His wife was sitting somewhere close by and I needed to 'come out and deal with this' and let them confront me. I told her I was at work and he was the one cheating, so maybe they needed to be having this conversation with him, not with me in front of all of my customers, in the middle of my shift."
"She kept screaming at me and calling me names. I told her she needed to leave or I’d call security, then I went to the back to have a tiny, humiliating panic attack. Needless to say, I never spoke to him again."
16."When I opened various kitchen drawers (looking for scissors), I saw a wedding invitation for six weeks out, addressed to my boyfriend and a woman who was not me."
17."I was dating a guy who told me he was divorced. I lived out of town, so bumping into him was never a thing. I helped a friend move to the town he lived in. It was going to be a short stay, so I didn't let him know. Anyway, we went to Costco to stock up her new place, and I saw him there canoodling with another woman. I approached him, and he looked like a total deer in the headlights. When I asked what was going on, the woman responded with the same question and said that she was his wife."
—Anonymous
18."I got suspicious when he would only talk to me on his way home from work, then needed to hang up when he got home. I searched his number on Facebook and found his profile. His profile pic was with a woman and a young boy. After I was able to find out his last name through Facebook, I found his Instagram, and that’s when the can of worms opened. Not only was he married with a son, but his wife was well-known in the area, as she was in the political scene. I called him out and shamed him, but I never got a response. I did do some snooping a few years later, and it looks like he treats his wife a lot better now. At least, that’s the hope."
—Anonymous
19."We were together for several years right before social media started. My friends kept telling me that he was being deceitful, but I could never catch him in any lies, and I had a severe attachment disorder. I remember one night hysterically crying on my hallway floor because I hadn’t heard from him in days. I knew I needed to end things, but the thought of losing him made me physically sick. Anyway, when Facebook was in its early days, I decided that I’d had enough. It didn’t take me long to find his wife. I messaged her, apologizing profusely because I didn’t know about her. Her response? 'Oh, I’ve known about you. He does this all the time.' His wife had even played with my dog when he watched him for me one day."
20."I worked for a police department in a civilian position and *very foolishly* started dating/hooking up with one of the officers. We both wanted to keep it private, so I didn't think it was weird that he didn't talk or act differently at work, but I did start wondering why he would only text, not call or FaceTime. Why did he always come to my place and never want me over at his? Well, one day there was three of us in the elevator: me, Officer Idiot, and Officer Innocent Bystander. Officer Innocent Bystander turns to Officer Idiot and asks, 'Hey, how far along is your wife now?' Turns out not only was this idiot MARRIED, his wife was freaking pregnant!! The dude didn't even look at me, just smiled and answered, 'Six months now!' and proceeded to have a convo right in front of me about how excited he was to be a dad. Zero shame or embarrassment. I wanted to vomit. I felt so disgusted and ashamed/guilty."
—Anonymous
21."I was friends with someone, and then we started hooking up. It was fairly causal and not too frequent. We hadn't spoken for a couple of months, and one day he texted me saying he was sorry he hadn't been in touch recently, but that he now had a girlfriend, but he also wanted us to hook up again soon! We then talked on the phone, and I asked him how long he'd been with her, expecting him to say something like six months. In fact, it was actually two years! We had definitely been hooking up in those two years. And, at one point in those two years, he told me he had chlamydia and I should be checked, despite us always being safe. When he told me about his girlfriend, he also said she wasn't the one who he got chlamydia from, so there was at least one other person behind her back. It hurt more because we had actually been friends, and I just didn't expect him to lie to me. Needless to say, we haven't hooked up or spoken since."
22."I met someone on Tinder, and we had been going out for a few months, including me accompanying him on a work trip to Florida. I tried to find him on social media when we first matched, but couldn't. He told me he didn't have the time to be on it (which made sense to me, as he owned a few businesses and had three teenagers). I ended up finding his children on Instagram, with each of them sharing many photos of him with his live-in girlfriend of five years. She was basically a stepmom to his kids. I confronted him, and he didn't even apologize. He just explained it was because he couldn't choose between the two of us. I tried to tell his girlfriend, but I think he blocked my accounts/number for her, too. I'm sure I'm not the first, or the last, he's done this with."
—Anonymous
23."I went to tell my friend about the guy I was seeing. My friend knows everybody; I call her the FBI. She told me he had a girlfriend and a kid. I confronted him and got ghosted. Apparently, he and my ex did not get along, and somehow, he thought he would one-up him by sleeping with me. He wasn’t better in bed than my ex, so no love lost."
24."He certainly seemed to *think* he was cheating on his 'wife.' During undergrad, I met a guy who seemed cool, and we started hanging out. From the beginning, he made it clear he was a Christian and there'd be no premarital sex. Fast-forward a few weeks, and he starts constantly pressuring me to go to his church and to accept Christ. I kept telling him I wasn't interested and was starting to get annoyed. One afternoon, he told me that if I was willing to do the work, god would forgive me and grant me a 'virginal heart' so that we could eventually get married. I got really offended, as I felt I had done nothing that required asking for forgiveness. I was also 21 and nowhere near ready to get married. I told him that if he couldn't accept me as I was, then we needed to see other people."
"Later, he sent me a long text basically saying that, through prayer, god had revealed to him that I was not a wayward soul in need of salvation and that I wasn't sent by god to be his wife, but rather I was a temptation sent by satan to corrupt him. He hoped that I'd find my way to god, that he'd pray for me, and that he was going to be doing penance (I do not know what that entailed) in order to be forgiven for cheating on his future godly wife. It's been 15 years, and I'm still shocked. This boy really thought he already had a wife assigned to him by god and that he'd cheated on her by simply spending time with me."
—Anonymous
25."I received several text messages from a number I didn't recognize. Come to find out, it was his WIFE! I apologized profusely and felt terrible about myself. She called me incessantly, had her friends message me, changed her number so she could keep messaging me, called the police on me, called my work, messaged my ex-husband and claimed that we were having an affair while I was still married (untrue), emailed my job, and sent me a cease and desist letter that literally said, 'You must cease from having sexual relations with said person.' When I went to the police station, the sheriff looked at me and said, 'You've really gotten yourself into some trouble.' She tried to press charges against ME for harassment."
"Thank god the state's attorney saw all the messages she sent, and he charged HER with harassment! She claimed her husband had AIDS and that she hoped I got it, too. My sister was killed a few months before this happened, and she said I deserved what my sister got. This man was the reason I stopped dating, and when I did finally get the courage to try again, I did serious background checks. It was a literal nightmare, and I got blamed for HIS wrongdoings. I hear they are divorced now, but I lost everything, including my sanity, for a very long time!"
—Anonymous
26."I was waiting for my divorce to finalize and spending a lot of time at my family's cabin about 45 minutes away from my house. One night, it was raining, so I decided to go to a local bar I'd never been to. This guy was there, and we got to talking. Oddly enough, we both worked in the wedding business. We started hanging out and casually hooking up when I was up there or when he was working in my area. I wasn't looking for anything serious. There was a girl who would post on his Facebook wall a lot, which seemed weird. He told me she was his ex, but that they were still close friends because she'd been with him through some rough parts of his life. I didn't think anything of it since I have friends like that, plus he was introducing me to a lot of his friends. He started talking about getting more serious and asked me to come along with him to a wedding out of state. We had a good time, and I posted a few pics after we got back."
"One of his friends who we used to visit when she was bartending messaged me asking if I had gone with him, and I confirmed, and suddenly, his girlfriend of over two years started blowing up my phone, screaming about how they were supposed to get married. I explained as calmly as I could that he had told me they were broken up, then left him a message saying it seemed like he had some explaining to do. Come to find out later that he was apparently telling his friends that he was in an open relationship with his fiancée, and that she knew about me and was totally cool with it."
—Anonymous
27."I met him through work. I worked in behavioral health, and he was a police officer who specialized in behavioral health. Instead of just sending someone off to jail, we'd work together to de-escalate and get the person treatment. Anyway, he told me he was divorced, his wife cheated on him, and he had primary custody of his young son. He even came to the hospital with me during my mother's surgery. Jump forward to about six months later, and I get served with a subpoena at my home requesting me to be a witness for he and his wife's divorce trial...for her defense! I had no clue! He would always come to my house and said his mom would always watch his son since he worked such weird hours. I hired an attorney, and apparently, he had cheated on his wife numerous times before."
—Anonymous
28."He and I co-parent our daughter, and he was very flirty. One time, I was dropping our daughter off for his weekend before going out, and he texted me later to hook up. Sure, why not? Then, after getting my daughter from him, I asked her how her weekend was with her dad, and she shared with me that her dad and his girlfriend had taken her to do something fun. He never talked about him having a girlfriend or said that he was bringing our daughter around someone else. I still ended up marrying him and had two more kids with him years later, all for him to cheat on me. Full circle of red flags. I know, I know!"
—Anonymous
29."I started seeing this guy after meeting at a softball tournament. We went out regularly for about two months. One day, my friend overheard him telling people his girlfriend was doing really well. My friend was excited that he was referring to me as his girlfriend. Then, he said his girlfriend was coming into town for a week. I already lived there. I was not the girlfriend, after all."
30."I was young and dumb. He was my direct boss. I believed him when he said he was divorced. I worked with several of his buddies, and no one ever said he wasn’t. I proceeded to have a hot fling with him for about six months. One night, before I got off work (closing with another manager), I got a call from him, and I assumed he was going to see if I was off yet so we could meet up. Imagine my surprise when there was another woman on the line. She introduced herself, let me know they were very much still married, and said she had recently found out she was pregnant with their second kid. She was livid (understandably so!), and I just quietly stayed on the phone in shock and let this woman call me all kinds of horrible names."
"I finally was able to get a word in, and I told her he had led me to believe they were divorced. She just screamed at me that I should’ve known, and didn’t I know what the ring on his finger was? Ring? He never wore a ring! I ended up hanging up on her after a while of being screamed at. I think she called our work, too, because he was quickly transferred to another store on the other side of the city. I blocked him. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that all his work buddies (my superiors) knew and said nothing. I quickly found another job and quit. Took me a hot minute to get over that one."
—Anonymous
31."His cousin sent me a Facebook message that said: 'The man you think is your boyfriend, well, he's my cousin, and he is engaged.' I didn't believe him, so he suggested we meet at a restaurant and he'd show me photos as proof. And so, we did. He was hot AF, so I went back to his apartment that night and had a good time. Zero regrets!"
—Anonymous
32."We were seeing each other for months, like close to 10, in the height of the pandemic during lockdowns here. It wasn't odd to be fully digital. It was deep, emotional, and really special. Then, one day, he sent a photo, and I saw a ring on his right ring finger. I did some googling, and for his culture, that's the hand married men wear their ring on. So, I asked, and he didn't respond for two weeks before telling me he was both married *and* had three kids. He explained it all by saying he was in an open marriage (I knew he was poly), but then admitted his wife didn't know about me (and obviously, I didn't know about her). So, I ended it, and it was so hard. He was really supportive and amazing, and there hadn't really been any red flags (or I was just unaware of them). I cried for, like, three hours straight. It was the hardest breakup I've had, but it was the right thing to do."
"Then, a few months later, he got back in contact, but was still married so I said nope. I looked him up a while ago. He's separated from his wife now, and she's with someone else, and he isn't."
—Anonymous
33."There was some really strong chemistry between me and a girl in my friend group during my college years, but we were never single at the same time. Eventually, she ended up dating our mutual friend, and the two of them were together for about a year and a half. They finally broke up during her last semester, and while I was uncomfortable with the situation, we decided to try going on a date. Between the awkwardness of the situation and the pressure I put on myself, it really didn't go well. Skip to the next day, and our mutual friend shows up on my doorstep seeking advice. It seems that this girl had asked out his roommate. The roommate, being a stand-up guy, had asked our friend for his blessing before agreeing to go out with her. They had apparently been quietly dating for a couple of weeks."
"My friend was concerned because after he had told his roommate that things were over between them and that he had no issues with the two of them dating, he and the girl had ended up fooling around the previous afternoon (about an hour before she and I went out). He needed advice if and how he should tell his roommate what had happened. And, that was how I found out that he and I were both the 'other man.'"
—Anonymous
34."I'm the worst person because I knew going into it that I was the other woman. He was someone I went to school with, and we reconnected years later. We became really good friends. When he was getting married, he was starting to freak out about it and started flirting with me. It kept growing in intensity until we both felt we had to see what it would be like. The guilt I felt was horrible (and deserved!), and I tried a couple of times to tell his wife anonymously. We would take a break but then start right back up again. Part of it was that I felt so flattered that this newly-married man would risk his marriage for me. I justified it in my head because I never let myself develop feelings for him."
"This went on for two years. When I found out his wife was pregnant and he still wanted to keep things going between us 'until the baby was born,' I knew that I had to find a way to end it for good. He gave me herpes, and that did it for me. I knew I deserved it. It took a lot of time and therapy to take a deep look at how I ended up there. He's still married and has two kids now. Part of me is angry that he still got to live happily ever after, and his wife is blissfully unaware of her husband's infidelity."
—Anonymous
35."His wife of over a decade reached out to me after a friend of hers tipped her off. I told her every dirty detail. We were together for a year or so, and we lived together. I never had any idea, and we lived in a small town, so other people definitely knew but said nothing. I started having this funny feeling that I was the other woman when I'd listen to Adele's 'Rumor Has It,' but he kept insisting he didn't know why I would feel that way. When it all blew up, he blocked me, and they are still together, as far as I know."
—Anonymous
36."So, I started liking this guy I didn't know that well in our friend group. We went on a group date and made out a little. My first red flag should've been that my dog growled at him, and she doesn't growl, but I didn't think anything of it. So, we spent our first night together. The next day, he left for home because he was taking care of a dog at his neighbor's house. I was on-call at my work, so I went to see friends at a party and act as DD. There, my friend told me that the guy didn't leave to go take care of his neighbor's dog. He went to take care of his neighbor, and he and his neighbor were COMING TO THE PARTY I WAS AT."
"I was petty at the time, but ultimately, a few months later, I forgave him since we ran in the same friend group. Two months later, we ALL found out that he'd had a long-distance girlfriend (now wife) for a couple of years now. I found out that not only did he cheat ON me, but he also cheated WITH me. I tried to tell her since he was still cheating after she moved down to where we live, but she ignored it. Last I heard, he was still cheating on her while they were almost married. Moral of this story: Dogs are great judges of character."
—Anonymous
37."He was Punjabi and said he had to have an arranged marriage if he didn’t find someone. We dated on-and-off for four years. He was arranged two years into our relationship. I found out because he sent someone money on Venmo. Her Instagram was public, and she had posted 'Happy two-year anniversary.' I told her he had cheated the entire two years, and she blocked me. Then, so did he. Loser."
38."I was the 'other woman' very recently. Several months ago, an ex and I reconnected as friends, and then our chemistry took the relationship beyond a friendship fairly shortly after. I had myself convinced we would end up back together because of fate, soulmates, etc. While I was busy gaslighting myself, he was busy entering into a new relationship and even moved her in with him. Getting that positive HPV test result brought me back to reality IMMEDIATELY."
—Anonymous
39."I had a friends with benefits relationship with one of my best friends. We were sleeping together for a solid five months when he let it slip mid-bang that he didn't want to do a specific position because his girlfriend liked it, and made him feel guilty. I ended the FWB situation right then and there. We stopped being friends altogether not long after because he kept wanting to start things up again while still being with this other person. The only thing I regret is not having met his girlfriend so I could've told her to run for the hills."
—Anonymous
40."I dated a guy I met on Bumble for about two months. He would talk to me around 4:30–5:30 a.m. every morning as I would walk my dog around the lake. We hung out multiple times a week and went hiking a ton. We both ultimately wanted to move to the same place out of state. He kept sending me houses in the town I had just gotten a job in that he was considering buying. But, little things keep happening where I felt like he was hiding things from me. On Thanksgiving, he had said his mom was coming into town. I just needed to creep, and he didn’t have social media. His mom posted a picture that day of his wife and his newborn daughter. I immediately messaged the wife (tagged in the photo) with proof he was cheating on her, and moved on."
—Anonymous
41."I reconnected with a high school boyfriend on social media after close to 30 years, and he claimed to be in the middle of a divorce. He was always available and would visit me often at my home in another town, and we'd even go out in his town to restaurants, bars, etc. I knew his family from when we were in high school and reconnected with them as well. He claimed he was living at his mother's while the divorce was proceeding. This went on for a year and a half. After going out of town and returning early from a trip, I went to surprise him. His car was not at his mother's, so I went by where I knew he had lived with his supposed soon-to-be ex-wife, and ta-da, his car was in the driveway. I immediately called him and told him it was over, done, and to never call again. He completely had a meltdown and attempted to chase me back to my home. We never spoke again."
—Anonymous
42.Finally: "I was seeing this older guy, and he was amazing, kind, funny, and he took care of me. He had two kids, I had one, and his youngest and my child were the same age and were friends. He and I kept things secret because of the kids...or so I thought. Come to find out, one night when we were parked in his car, under the stars talking about life, that he had a girlfriend! It accidentally came up in conversation. He had been taking care of his cousin's daughter, and he was trying to adopt her. While we were talking about that, he let it slip that his girlfriend was adopting her with him! I never knew he was with someone else, or that she was living at his house and adopting a little girl with him!!! I had been to his house SEVERAL times and knew nothing of her. I was devastated! It truly broke my heart because I thought we had something special. He ended up marrying the girlfriend, and they adopted the little girl, and later, her brother."
"They divorced a few year later, and he came crawling back, telling me how much he missed me, how that was the biggest mistake of his life, and how he should’ve been with me and adopted the babies with me. Over the course of 12 years, we’ve been on and off. He’s been married, like, two other times. Most recently, he told me he wanted to finally have a real relationship with me, and then two days later, a girl tagged him in a Facebook post showing her engagement ring and talking about how lucky she was to have found such an amazing man. Needless to say, I’m done with that mess. I now pronounce you blocked and deleted!"
—Anonymous
OOOOOOOOF. It's just so devastating. People can be so cruel.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
