"My Father-In-Law Slept With My Husband's Ex-Wife": 23 People Revealed Their "Final Straw" Moments That Convinced Them To Cut Off Their In-Laws
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their breaking point that made them cut off their in-laws. Their responses were unhinged, disturbing, and truly unbelievable.
Note: This post contains mention of suggested abuse.
1."We invited my husband's parents for dinner. They had always been difficult, but we kept trying for the sake of our children. My mother-in-law walked in and asked if we invited them because we wanted to announce our divorce. Three times I asked, 'What did you say?' and she kept repeating about our divorce. We were angry and told them how we felt. My father-in-law then sent a letter to my husband at his office saying I was never allowed at their house — just my husband and our children could come by. We cut them off for months."
—Anonymous
2."The final straw was when we went to apply for a mortgage and we found out my partner's credit score was poor because his mom had been taking debt out in his name without his permission and defaulting on it so we couldn’t get the mortgage."
—Anonymous
3."My father-in-law had sex with my husband's ex-wife, who he shares two children with. His dad, nor his ex, will ever live that down. The ex-wife actually told my husband about it, trying to make him angry we assume. He couldn't care less about her, but what kind of parent does that to their child? Ew."
—Anonymous
4."My mother-in-law asked to wear white to my wedding. I said please no. She was not happy. On the day of the wedding, I overheard her saying that it wouldn't matter what I wore because I would not look as good as my fiancé's previous girlfriend, my sister, or anyone else. 25 years later, she rarely sees her grandchildren or her son. My sons have heard her say horrible things about me, and they have chosen not to have a relationship with her. I encourage my husband to see her as much as possible, but he isn't interested."
—Anonymous
5."My mother-in-law started off liking me, but when her son and I married and we moved states, she put all the blame on me for 'taking him away.' She heavily relied on his income, even though she was able to work (but refused to keep a job because she just didn't like it). She would constantly ask for money and would get upset if he couldn’t send her extra that month. She also told him that if we weren’t married, he would be spending his money on her rather than me. If my husband forgets to call her one week, she’ll message him about how I put a curse on her and how I don't let him call her. She also constantly tells him we don’t deserve children and that she will never see them as her grandkids."
"The breaking point was when she was upset at my husband and went out of her way to message my mom about how terrible of a daughter I am for taking away her son. I have been nothing but kind to this woman, and in return I get treated like this because she has attachment problems with her son and refuses to accept his decisions are made by him, not me. I wanted to have a good relationship with my MIL, but she has said too many unforgiving things for no apparent reason other than her son married me and not her."
—Anonymous
6."My mother-in-law went table-to-table at our baby shower accusing my husband and me of 'leaving her out of the pregnancy.' Apparently, weekly updates weren’t enough for her. When it was time to open gifts, she went to the opposite end of the room, put her chair against the wall, and sat with her back toward us. Never spoke again."
—Anonymous
7."My mother-in-law has always been very dominant. These are just some of the things she's done over the years. First, she went table-to-table at our wedding to tell everyone it wouldn't last, refused to be in any photos with me, tried to rearrange all the food, and had her daughter tell me that 'one word' from them would make my husband dump me. They must still be figuring out what that word is, because here I am 20 years later. I ended up having fertility issues and a miscarriage. When her daughter got pregnant, my MIL made a huge deal about 'finally' becoming a grandmother and asked me, 'Wouldn't you have been due around now?' All she talked about around me was the baby. I got pregnant again, and she said she 'knew I would steal her daughter's moment.'"
"She made constant comparisons between us, then constant comparisons between the babies when they arrived. It was made clear that her other grandchild was the favorite and ours was not. I got pregnant again, and my brother came by one morning and took my son because I was feeling sick. I didn't ask him; he offered. My MIL found out and got really angry that I hadn't asked her, despite her showing minimal interest in our son up until that point. She came to the house to shout at me, told me I was evil, said I was a bitch who stole her son, and told me to watch my back because I was going to get jumped. Bear in mind, I was freaking pregnant while she was doing this. My husband cut her off at this point, but I was stupid and wanted to give her another chance for the sake of the children.
I had a miscarriage at four months. We went to a family birthday party, and my MIL had already told everyone about it. She'd also told them I was 'in denial,' so I had a constant stream of people trying to get me to open up about it and asking me questions about it.
I had another baby when my sister-in-law was pregnant again too. When my baby was 8 weeks old, she was really ill and in the hospital. Despite being right there in the same hospital while my SIL was giving birth, my MIL didn't come see her and didn't even message to ask if she was okay. Once again, both babies were compared and it was made clear the other baby was also the favorite.
We went to my MIL's house one afternoon and overheard her saying, 'Quick, hide the toys!' so my children couldn't play with them because they were for the other grandchildren. She told my son all about a trip she was taking her other grandson on. When he asked to go too, she said he'd have to ask me and his dad to take him one day.
She constantly made plans to see our children, then canceled them to see her other grandchildren instead. The final straw came when it was our son's birthday. She said she'd come see him and didn't show up. Then, that night, after he was in bed, she sent her boyfriend to put a birthday card and £5 through the letterbox. Two weeks later was our daughter's birthday, and she showed up at the door with gifts including a tablet, cards, and big smiles. I told her that I'd had enough and wasn't going to let her play favorites with my children. She once again told me I was evil. I shut the door in her face and none of us has seen or spoken to her for 10 years. It's been blissful."
—Anonymous
8."My mother-in-law was always saying I didn't keep our house clean. I ran a home daycare and visitors and parents were in and out all day. I don't believe I would have had such a successful business if her claims were true. However, to prove my point to my husband, before a visit, we hired a lawn company to make sure the front and back yards were looking top-notch, we had the chimney cleaned, the windows washed inside and out, the carpets and flooring cleaned, and hired four maids to clean the inside of the house top to bottom. Everything was sparkling when she arrived. She brought in a bag of groceries and said she was going to make sandwiches. Then, to my husband's shock, she said, 'But, first I have to clean the kitchen. It's disgusting and I would never prepare food in here.' That's when he realized that what I'd been saying was true and we cut her off. She's not cut off 100%, but we scaled down visits a lot."
—Anonymous
9."When my in-laws threatened to 'beat the evil' out of our kids because we had made the decision to stop any type of physical discipline. They also required our daughters to change into dresses when they would go over to spend time with them. That was something I didn’t know about for years because they told the girls not to tell us and had them change before we picked them up. Right before the 'beat the evil out of them' comment, my 8-year-old old came to me SOBBING because my mother-in-law told her we didn’t love them because we allowed people to 'poison' them. My in-laws are hardcore anti-vaxxers. Needless to say, we cut all communication and have not seen or spoken to them in almost eight years."
—Anonymous
10."My mother-in-law forgot my son's birthday, then proceeded to get mad at me two days later for not telling my husband's cousin happy birthday. By the way, I did tell her happy birthday, just not in the group chat, so it 'didn’t count.'"
—Anonymous
11."My future in-laws fell for an Instagram fake profile scam. They called my fiancé because they legitimately believed I was a pornstar. They already didn't like me, so I feel like they had finally found an excuse to grab onto. They turned the entire family against us and my fiancé still refuses to tell me what they said about me because it's that vulgar. This was the summer of 2021. He had to cut everyone off."
12."When my mother-in-law was furious that I got pregnant before her son (my then-fiancé) and I were married. She tried to say I got pregnant on purpose and she even tried to convince her son to leave me and the baby on several occasions. Come to find out she was pregnant with my fiancé at her wedding to my father-in-law. They had been lying about what year they got married for over 20 years so no one would know about them getting pregnant before marriage. I realized they were the biggest liars and hypocrites ever, and cut them out of my life!"
—Anonymous
13."My mother-in-law came to 'help' after my first baby was born. The first thing she did was take him out of my arms without so much as a hello to me, and it just got worse from there. I had a traumatic birth experience and couldn't really walk, so she'd take him from me and immediately take him upstairs where I couldn't get to without help. I was breastfeeding (every three hours per the pediatrician because he needed to gain weight) and would have to tell her four, five, even six times after the timer went off that it was time for him to eat until finally, I'd have to get up (again, couldn't walk well yet) and take him from her. Anytime I asked her to do something, which was never more difficult than 'Can you open this jar for me?' she'd try to take the baby from me and make me do it myself."
"I still see her, unfortunately, but she will never be alone with my child and she will never interact with me without my husband present because, of course, she's on her best behavior when he's around."
—Anonymous
14."My in-laws refused to buy a gun safe for their firearms prior to us visiting with our two young toddlers. This was after months of strife and zero effort on their part to establish a relationship with our kids."
—Anonymous
15."I’m a biracial Black woman and my husband is half-Asian and half-white. Since he's mixed, I thought his family would be welcoming. I could not have been more wrong. Not only do I have to deal with constant micro-aggressions and racism, but my father-in-law is also extremely toxic. When I finally got the courage to call him out on his BS, he tried to turn it around and be the victim. Luckily, my husband is amazing and always stands up for me. After 10 years, I finally have my boundaries and only see them once or twice a year."
—Anonymous
16."When we filed our taxes the year after we got married, it bounced back due to me apparently already filing. When we did a credit check, we found out we were victims of identity theft. Mine was limited to the tax return, but my then-mother-in-law had dozens of accounts open in my husband's name. He refused to sue her to fix it, and that was the beginning of the end of our marriage."
—Anonymous
17."I am older than my current husband and have teen and adult children. I believe this to be a factor in the comments made by his mother, which have prevented me from developing a close relationship with his family. Initially, the relationship dynamic started out quite civil. His younger sister married a year before we did and provided her parents and in-laws with a grandson. Because I had plenty of child-bearing/raising under my belt and my husband had previously decided that he did not want to father children of his own, we elected not to have children of our own. His decision was based on multiple mental health issues in his family that he did not want to pass on to future generations. This decision, and the fact that I was older, prompted a very uncomfortable conversation with the in-laws at their Christmas gathering. Out of the blue, my mother-in-law stated, 'You know you will never be part of the family, however, we can certainly treat you like a good friend!'"
"My hubby and I have had a wonderful 26-year marriage, have never asked his family for anything, and have always treated them kindly. In recent years, my MIL occasionally suggests I can call her to chat. I do prompt my hubby to call them on special occasions, check on them if there's bad weather or other locally concerning events, and at random times to just say hello. I usually chime in and say hello, too. I just can't forget the unkind comments made all those years ago."
—Anonymous
18."When my in-laws said they were doing a family vacation, but I wasn't invited because 'I'm not family,' but my husband's sister's partner was invited."
—Anonymous
19."I reached my breaking point with the in-laws after years of trying to get them involved in our kids' lives any way possible. We came up against glaringly obvious favoritism towards my brother-in-law and his kids. The in-laws moved twice to be closer to his kids and babysat all three full-time, yet wouldn't drive an hour to see our kids ever. We invited them to my son's first birthday. They claimed to be on their way to the party, but had to turn around halfway there because it was 'too windy.' The straw that broke the camel's back was during Covid when they moved again without even telling my husband, and wouldn't let us come see the new house when we did find out. Their excuse was that our two homeschooled children were 'too big of a risk' to be around, yet they continued to sit on bleachers full of strangers to watch basketball and soccer games for my nieces and nephew, along with driving the kids to and from school and to practices."
"They even had a large birthday gathering for my mother-in-law with the entire extended family invited, but not us, because the home-schooled children, the stay-at-home mom, and their son who worked out of his own truck all day were too big of a risk. I gave up on trying to involve them in my children's lives at that point. If they don't want to be involved, I'm not going to allow my children to become upset every time they turn down an invitation to see them at our house or theirs. They sent a picture card to us for Christmas, and my 5-year-old daughter had to ask who those 'old people' were. I simply said they were some people daddy knew and left it at that."
—Anonymous
20."The final straw was when I got a phone call my mother-in-law had set up from another woman telling me my husband was having an affair and that he was too young when he got married. We'd been married for 20 years at this point. I got ahold of a P.I. to figure things out. Lots of things that were said by the 'other woman' sounded just like things my mother-in-law would say. My MIL was thinking she could break us up and have her son move back in with her. When it didn't work, my brother-in-law broke up with his wife, then he moved in with mommy and is still living with her today, over 20 years later. He doesn't work and lives in her basement."
"Over the years, my MIL has done a lot of thing to try to get rid of me, even before we got married. The night before our wedding, my MIL came to me and told me she didn't want me to marry her son. I should've known then that she would be a problem. Well, we're still married after 43 years. I hate to say it, but I'm waiting for mommy to kick the bucket."
—Anonymous
21."My in-laws would go to our children's school to tell them lies and to sometimes even sign them out of school. When the school realized that there were problems and the grandparents did not have a normal family relationship, the wheels came off. I took the in-laws to court and won, so they could no longer play their games nor visit until they had a documented mental evaluation. Turns out my mother-in-law was on drugs and lying to several doctors. My father-in-law was clueless and believed everything his wife said. We worked it out after three years of threats, sabotage, and finally, the law. We moved 800 miles away. My wife had been petrified of her parents for 20 years."
—Anonymous
22."My mother-in-law stated that my hospitalized husband (who had just had a stroke) should 'just pass on' because he had 'too many problems.' He made a full recovery, and she has been banned from our home."
—Anonymous
23.Finally: "My former mother-in-law always made a point of making sure everyone knew that she did not favor my children. She was fine with me until her son announced that we would be getting married in the same church my parents had been married in and hoped our marriage would be as good as theirs. She took this as an insult since she and his father had been divorced for many years. She disliked me from that moment on and took it out on HER GRANDCHILDREN! My older son was having his sixth birthday and my MIL made a big deal about asking him what he wanted for his birthday. He asked for a toy that was very popular at the time. She PROMISED that she would get it for him."
"His birthday arrived, and we were having his party. My MIL produced two large gifts, and one smaller item still in the bag from the Dollar Tree. The larger, wrapped gifts were for my nephews and happened to be the toy that my son had asked for. She gave my son a small package of miniature doll furniture. My son politely asked her why she did not bring him the gift she said she was bringing. She said there were only two left, so she got them for the other boys and that she would send him the gift when she could. He was good about it, but obviously hurt. Keep in mind that she completely ignored the fact that my younger son even existed! I promptly threw the doll furniture in the trash, gave her back her dollar, and escorted her to her car while politely explaining that she was a horrible person to do this to her grandson. I also told her that she would never be welcome here again. My spineless ex-husband knew she was wrong, but could never stand up to her."
—Anonymous
Wow. I am so sorry to all the people who have been impacted by toxic family members. I hope you've been able to find some peace.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
