22 People Shared How Having Kids Changed Their Relationships, And I'm Here For This Honesty
Not too long ago, we asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us how their relationship changed after having kids, and the responses were hilarious, moving, and brutally real. Here are the most memorable responses, along with some new stories, from the comments section:
1."Marriage hasn't always been easy. Having kids gave us an extra reason to keep going when we felt like giving up on each other."
Fox
"If we didn’t have kids, we would’ve called it quits long ago. The kids bring out a strength in the two of you that you never knew you had."
"It's much easier now to overlook the little annoyances and focus on the wonderful parts of our family."
2."I fell in love with my husband all over again seeing him with my baby daughter. We had placed all our bets on it being a boy, but one of my most amazing memories is when I heard him go batshit, screaming, 'Our girl's here! Our girl's here!'"
"And he who NEVER danced now dances to 'Baby Shark' when he comes home from work, and I love it. We've been together for 12 years, married for four, and parents for 9 months, and it couldn't get better!"
—Aishwarya Lahiri Khannal, Facebook
"I love seeing how me and my partner grow as people after having a child. My spouse was absolutely meant to be a parent, and seeing him and my son play and be silly brings a light to my life that I never knew before."
"Parenting is exhausting and hard, and yes, your relationship changes. But seeing your spouse grow as a parent makes you love them that much more. Then you have moments when your child does something new and you meet your spouse's eyes, both thinking, 'We made this amazing tiny human.' Those moments are the sweetest to share."
—Mackenzie Miller Bingham, Facebook
3."I learned we had to put our relationship first and our kids second. We make sure we take care of our relationship so that we can parent the best we can. If we aren’t on the same page, we can’t be good parents."
—Erin Sekelyl, Facebook
"My husband and I have never had problems due to having children — we work together as a team to keep our relationship strong, and we don't use our children as an excuse not to have that quality time together."
—Chrystall Gonzales, Facebook
4."Our marriage hasn't changed much — he still stares at my ass, and I still pluck his ingrown hairs. But now, we hold full conversations while I poop!"
—Emily McCarthy Pierce, Facebook
5."I trust my husband in a way I didn't before we had kids. We had our son with no family nearby, and he had my back like nobody's business day in and day out. I know he won't give up in a tough spot, and I know he will do anything for his family. I thought we were soulmates before, and now I feel like we are soulmates and a half."
TBS
—Berit Mannl, Facebook
6."We went from calling each other 'Babe' to calling each other 'Mom' and 'Dad.'"
7."When we got home from the hospital with our newborn twins, my husband was no longer my main priority. I went from everything revolving around him to being a first-time mom of two who didn't even have time to shower. Ultimately, he left, and I know that it was because he couldn't handle not being my number one focus anymore."
"We both love our children very much and are getting better at co-parenting, but it’s been a challenge. Still, I'll always be grateful for those tiny 4-pound babies — they changed my life for the better and continue to do so."
8."Having a child with my significant other made me realize that romance isn't a big gesture but a bunch of small things that are done selflessly just because you love someone."
"I had my daughter extremely young, and I think that having a child puts tons of strain on a relationship — especially when people are basically still kids themselves — but I do know that it also made me love him more than I ever could have imagined. It shows you a strength you have in a relationship that you never knew. You want to work harder and show your child what a successful couple really is."
9."The only thing that changed in our relationship is that now we can both blame a third person for passing gas."
—Amber Mingo-Foggie, Facebook
10."When our kid is away for the night, we have grand plans of getting dressed up, going out to dinner, and having great sex on the living room floor. But we usually end up putting on comfy clothes, ordering Thai to-go, and dozing off on the couch by 10 p.m."
11."Our sex life now is a lot like drinking my morning coffee — we either do it super fast or it goes cold and untouched."
CBS
12."Having kids helped me leave my cheating, mentally and emotionally abusive husband. I kept thinking, 'I never want my daughters to have a relationship like this,' and then I thought, 'Wait, why do I have a relationship like this?!'"
"Now I'm a single mom, I'm so much happier, and I hope I've taught my children that they deserve the life they want."
"I never realized how awful my ex had always been to me until I got pregnant. As soon as there was a possibility she would see how he treated me and think it was OK — or that it might be turned on her — I left. Four years later, I have an amazing partner who loves her like his own, goes out of his way to do anything he can for her, and treats us both with the utmost love, respect, and consideration. Dating with a kid was hard, but I appreciated it for showing me very quickly whether things could work with someone."
—Rachel Lauren McGhee, Facebook
13."I went through a rough patch postpartum, and my husband really stepped up. When I needed a nap, help with the housework, or just for him to take our daughter so I could have a few hours to myself, he was there. He was so selfless after our daughter was born that it blew my mind — our daughter brought the best of his character out."
"We rely on each other so much more than before. And the infatuation and passion from before kids gives way to deep lasting love that lasts." —sarafifielda
14."A 'night out' has become going to Ikea without the kids. It's fantastic!"
15."We express how much we love each other differently now — by emptying the dishwasher or watching the kids while the other person sleeps in."
"And at the very least, we try to at least make out if there’s not time or energy for much else."
16."We've become masters of the quickie — as in 'quick, get it done before the kids knock!'"
Yahoo
"Who has the time to spend hours in bed with outfits and toys? Quick and efficient morning sessions before our kids wake up is our jam." —machouse150
17."We had to invent what we call 'serial dating' because it's hard for us to get a babysitter. So one of us goes to a movie the first night alone, then the other parent goes the next night. Then we talk about the movie together."
18."Having kids has bonded us stronger than we ever imagined it would. We actually fight less now than before the kids."
19."We used to be fiery, but now we are peaceful. And I think that's better."
"Our son has brought a light into our marriage that I didn't know was missing."
20."Having a child made me fall out of love with her dad completely. I had postpartum depression, and he was demanding as much from me as my newborn daughter was! All I had to give I gave to my daughter, and I just didn't have enough for them both."
Bravo
21."We actually have sex every day, sometimes multiple times a day. Even if that means staying up super late after we've gotten other things done. It's all in how you make it work."
"We figure our girls will grow up and have their own lives so we need to continue to build our relationship up as well. Show your kids how marriage or partnership can and should be — both equal, giving and taking."
And finally:
22."He's still my best friend. We're still completely attracted to one another. We're still completely in love. I'm not sure our relationship has changed — just grown."
CBS
Want to be on BuzzFeed? Follow the BuzzFeed Community on Facebook and Twitter.
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.
