People Are Calling Out The Rudest Things They've Seen Wedding Guests Do, And I'm Shocked At The Audacity
A while back, we wrote a post where people shared the wedding etiquette rules guests often ignore. In the comments, even more people shared the rude things guests should never do (but have done anyway), and, weeeell, it gets pretty bad. Here's what they had to say:
1."I had several uninvited family members show up to my wedding. If you were not invited, DO NOT GO. I don't care if you are 1 of 100 family members and the only one not invited. There is a reason you were not on the guest list."
2."If the couple has a registry and it’s reasonable,* please be sure to get their gift from that registry. Items on mine ranged from $6 to $100, and many weren’t purchased. Instead, several guests spent way too much money on something that was only their taste, which has sat in a box for the last decade."
"I registered for a $6 box of coasters because I actually wanted, and would have used, those coasters. I did not register for a (probably over $200) solid silver salad bowl, designed to look like woven bamboo, because I do not want it and will never use it. Because it is engraved with our last name, no one will ever use it. It was a waste of money and the materials needed to make it. Save your money, save the planet, and get things the couple tell you they need/want rather than things you want them to have.
*If the couple registers for insanely expensive gifts like a new couch, all bets are off."
3."Recently married, and many things happened: guests asking to bring their kids when their children weren’t invited, guests RSVP'ing 'yes' and not showing up with no explanation, guests who didn’t give at least a card, etc. Hell, my cousin didn’t come to my wedding because I didn’t give her a plus-one for a boyfriend I didn’t even know existed."
"People just don’t understand wedding etiquette anymore. It’s awful."
4."I got called a bridezilla and fussed and yelled at for a solid 30 minutes for not wanting my sister (and maid of honor) to wear a white dress to my wedding. It's rude to wear white to someone else's wedding, but for the maid of honor to wear white?! You're literally standing next to the bride!"
"All of this only happened because she finally, after months of me asking her to, drove the 70 miles to my city, where I drove us around to shop for her MOH dress. She caused me to be called a bridezilla countless times and caused more tears and stress than any other part of my wedding planning. I wish I had said screw it and asked her to just be a guest and not stand beside me."
5."It's rude to RSVP and then not show up. We had one whole table that was empty at our wedding. Which means we paid for that table and eight servings of food for nothing. Not cool."
—mr8
"Don't RSVP 'yes' and then not show up. I don't mean because you got sick. We had someone tell us a few days in advance that they thought they could fly up, but turned out they couldn't. Or it was 'too hot.' One couple just no-showed, and we found out later they were at another party. Cost us $150 per person and messed up our seating arrangements."
6."At our daughter’s wedding (a fairly pricey event), my sister created a huge disruption in the family because she wanted to bring her boyfriend (only married and live-in couples were plus-ones). Didn’t show up to the wedding, didn’t send a card, and her best friend (a lifelong friend of the family) also didn’t show up or send a card."
"My husband’s sister-in-law made a request for the DJ to play her and her husband’s 'song' and announce their anniversary (which was actually two weeks earlier) and got their own dance. All without ever even asking the happy couple if they minded. Horrible people. 😡"
7."I was at a beautiful wedding in 2019, and while the brides were exchanging vows, some woman answered her cellphone and took a call. Twice."
8."Housekeeper for a wedding venue/hotel here! One of the rudest things people do is mistreat the venue staff and leave constant messes. If you need toilet paper in a stall, politely ask! Don’t berate us that there’s no toilet paper at a 400-person wedding when everyone is going in and out of the bathroom!"
"Have an empty glass or trash? Hold on to it until you can properly dispose of it, and that doesn’t mean the floor :)."
9."We had a guest bring a sex worker to our wedding. It was obvious. We are not friends with this person anymore. We also had someone tape a $2 coin into a card as a gift. The card explained that they had spent money on a gift for my husband's first marriage five years before."
10."At my sister in-law's wedding, people were talking so loud during speeches, we couldn’t hear her; I was disgusted. We actually stopped at one point to ask people to be quiet, and that did nothing."
11."A guest took home all the leftovers from my wedding. I had been looking forward to those after weeks of dieting! Another guest stayed at my house because my husband and I spent the night in a hotel, and when I got home in the morning, I found he’d eaten the pizza I'd also been saving from our rehearsal dinner!"
"Five years later, and I’m still butthurt. Lol."
12."Do not bring children to a child-free wedding — no exceptions. Do not ask for an exception. If you can't get a sitter, don't go. Not comfortable leaving your kids with a sitter? Don't go. There are plenty of places you can't bring kids: bars, clubs, jobs, etc. No one would try to bring their kid to a nightclub, so don't bring them to a wedding."
"My extended family on my mom's side still aren't speaking five years after my wedding because my cousins were so hurt that their three young kids weren't invited to my wedding. I made it clear from the jump that no one under 21 was invited. It caused a huge fight and rift in my family. THE DAY IS ABOUT THE BRIDE AND GROOM, NOT YOUR CHILDREN."
13."Get out of the photographer’s way. My brother-in-law actually told me the photographer was following him around for the best shots, completely clueless that he was in the way. We didn’t want a bunch of stiff, formal pics, just people doing what they do. Your crappy cellphone pics aren’t going to be as nice — so move."
14."The dress code one is so important! If you're underdressed, it will draw attention and cheapen the whole vibe. I've been to several black-tie weddings and parties, and there is almost always someone who thinks they can get away with a short dress. Black-tie parties aren't cheap or last-minute affairs. Show respect to your host."
15."My future aunt made us get a gluten-free cake just for her. Like, a whole cake just for her."
—Jen
16."Don’t be critical of the wedding. The couple and/or their family are probably shelling out a good chunk of change to make the wedding happen, and they don’t need to hear the negativity. You can talk about what didn’t go great or what you didn’t like in the car on the way home."
"I once had a guest complain at my wedding that the bar service was 'slow,' and all it did was stress me out because a) I didn’t have control over the bar service, and b) my husband and I had paid for a completely open bar, and I hoped it’d be enough to keep people happy."
17."I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where a groomsman’s new girlfriend (who was not in the wedding party at all) wore a dress in the exact color and similar shape as the bridesmaid dresses."
And finally...
18."Near the end of our backyard wedding, one of my guests proudly showed me that he had swiped a couple of pricey bottles of champagne from our bar to bring back to the hotel. I explained that WE paid for the alcohol and we could return unopened bottles, and asked him to please not do that when there is a ton of keg beer that cannot be returned that he can drink instead. So frustrating."
"I'm still not clear on why he thought I would be impressed that he was stealing booze at my wedding."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
