Pelosi and Her Fabulous Scarf Have Bested Trump

From ELLE

At a press conference on Thursday afternoon, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi accepted President Trump's acceptance of her un-acceptance of his acceptance of her previously extended invitation to deliver the State of the Union, now-rescinded. "I’m glad we could get that off the table. It is so unimportant in the lives of the American people in terms of especially those who are victims of the shutdown, hostages to the president’s applause line in a campaign speech," she said, which roughly translates to "Better start a YouTube channel, dude, because your show has been cancelled." Though Pelosi has never had any trouble expressing herself, her remarks were nearly matched in flair by the fabulous scarf she rocked on camera.

This is the second eye-catching kerchief lewk in as many days for the Speaker, who rocked a Gryffindor-esque item the day before. These fashion choices, like her now-iconic coat, are speaking volumes. One wonders what might transpire if she passed the mic to her bold accessories. Think of it as the sartorial equivalent of Luther, Obama's Anger Translator. Meet Scarflett Johansson, Nancy Pelosi's Smackdown Translator.

It all began with Pelosi's original letter to Trump explaining that, due to the shutdown, it wouldn't be feasible to hold the SOTU.

Pelosi wrote "Sadly, given the security concerns and unless government re-opens this week, I suggest we work together to determine another suitable date after the government has re-opened for this address..."

Meanwhile, Scarflett just DM'd Trump this image and a shrug emoji:

Yesterday Pelosi doubled-down, sending a letter that read, in part, "I am writing to inform you that the House will not consider a concurrent resolution authorizing the President's State of the Union..."

Scarflett, meanwhile, hired a skywriter to circle the White House spelling out, "You thought I was kidding, son?! I think KNOT! That's a fabric pun! You may have shut the government down but the wordplay industry is booming."

Following this move, word got out that the White House was planning to find an alternative venue to hold the State of the Union. While they didn't give an indication of which venue they were considering, it's most likely the president was planning to shout his remarks through the drive-through at the New York Avenue Burger King.

Nancy reserved public comment on that, but Scarflett has a lot to say. She stood outside the gates of the White House with a bullhorn and a karaoke machine playing an instrumental version of Oleta Adams' "Get Here." Scarflett, of course, modified the lyrics to fit the occasion. "You can't speech me by railway, you can't speech me by trailway; you can't speech me on an airplane, you can't speech me with your mind..." A rousing performance.

The president then finally acknowledged that he had been bested both politically and fashionably by the formidable speaker, tweeting last night that he would not try to find an alternative venue for the speech because, he said, "no venue that can compete with the history, tradition and importance of the House Chamber. I look forward to giving a 'great' State of the Union Address in the near future!"

When reached for comment, Scarflett replied, "The 'great' is in quotation marks because even he doesn't believe it. Tune into my new Netflix special for more silky smooth smackdowns. Get it? SILK. It's a fabric pun! The wordplay business is looming! My burns aren't hot, they're haute. Thank you; I'll be here all week!"

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