How to Find Your Passion
We've all heard the idea at some point: Follow your passion in life, and rewards-greater happiness, a more satisfying career, or maybe even both-will follow. This concept makes "passion" sound like a magical golden egg that's uncovered at the end of a self-discovery journey, a journey you might take armed with motivational quotes, books and inspiring "how I did it" stories.
So how does someone find their passion? Let us help you start. You'll want to grab a notebook to complete the illuminating exercises below.
First of all, what does "passion" mean, here?
To be clear, we're not referring to the romantic kind, nor are we talking about the type that moves people to commit a crime in the heat of the moment.
"In simple terms, 'passion' is your joy," says Karen Putz, author of Unwrapping Your Passion: Creating the Life You Truly Want. "We all experience passion in different ways, it's an energy that's unique for every individual."
Know the difference between your passion and your calling.
Are your passion and your calling the same thing? No, though you might've heard the two used interchangeably before.
"If passion is the energy that fuels you, your calling is the direction," Putz says.
Susanna Newsonen, a life coach also known as The Happyologist, agrees that while the two are interlinked, "passion is a form of positive energy that you can experience in multiple areas of your life, not just with your calling."
"For me, your calling is what you yearn to do, because it's meaningful to you," Newsonen continues. "Hence, naturally you'll feel passionate about it, because of the sense of fulfillment it gives you."
Consider the C.L.E.A.R. Path to passion.
According to Putz, there are five stages of passion-recognizing the early stages can shape the trajectory of how you develop it further.
Putz calls these stages the "C.L.E.A.R. Path":
Curiosity
"This is where passion first appears. It begins as something that captures your attention."Learning
"When you are intrigued by something, you begin to learn more about it. You put time into understanding at a deeper level."Enthusiasm
"You become excited and enthused. You want to experience more, know more, and learn even more."Awareness
"When passion reaches this level, commitment is required. This is the 'willingness to suffer' level. You will go above and beyond to keep it flowing."Recognition
"People identify or associate you with a certain path or experience. Your passion stands out."
Know your "Notables."
When Todd Henry, author of The Accidental Creative and Louder Than Words, helps clients dig deeper to locate their hidden passion, he suggests an exercise he calls The Notables. Write down your answers to these questions, as explained by Henry.
What angers you?
"I'm talking about compassionate anger," Henry says, as opposed to a case of boiling road rage. "Compassion means 'to suffer with.' What fills you with compassionate anger? What do you experience and immediately think 'Ugh! Someone needs to do something about that!'"
That 'someone' is probably you, Henry points out, "and now you've stumbled onto a clue to the productive passion that will drive your most meaningful work."
What makes you cry?
"The things that move us emotionally are great indicators of productive passion," Henry explains.
He uses the example of his own love for underdog stories: "It's hard for me to sit through an underdog movie without bursting into tears at some point. And you know what? Some of my best work is performed when I'm working with underdog companies!"
If there's a consistent theme in the things that move you deeply-maybe they all tend to center around children, for example-you've hit on something you may want to devote your time and energy to.
What gives you hope?
"Finally, think about something you believe in deeply that others think you're crazy for believing," Henry says. "What are you strangely optimistic about that others gave up on long ago? What do you believe that few if any around you do?"
Cultivating faith in your seemingly-wild optimism can birth a new quest that's uniquely you, as many of those who've made history would attest.
"Some of the greatest innovations and works of art came from people who saw potential and value where others saw absolutely nothing," Henry reminds us.
Ask yourself these questions about your past, present, and future.
Putz asks clients to consider these Qs-and you can return to them and self-evaluate again and again.
Past:
What was a major moment of joy in your past?
Who were you with?
What were you doing?
Where were you?
Present:
When you're standing in line at the DMV, waiting at the dentist office, or sitting in a boring meeting, can you note what thoughts/memories/wishes pop up?
"When you think about things that you’d rather be doing or experiencing, those are clues," Putz says.
Future:
What are you putting off for the future?
What's on your “someday” list? ("Some day, when I have money, when kids are old enough, when I retire..." etc.)
What do you dream about?
After you've identified what your delayed intentions are telling you, Putz says, "create an action plan to live NOW, not 'someday.'"
Once you've hit on a deep interest, surround yourself with people who love it, too.
Finding like-minded people will help you take a newfound passion to greater heights as you become each other's sounding board and/or activity partner. Plus, those who share your zest for a particular subject or hobby are likely to be among the most supportive members of your cheering section.
"A big part of feeling passionate is connecting with people who support you for who you are," Newsonen says. "Their positive energy and support will make it easier for you to be yourself, and it will also feed your sense of passion from within."
If no one in your immediate circle fits the bill (aka they're saying things like, "I'm sick of hearing about your love for feral cat rescue all the time!") you might try connecting with new people through a volunteer gig. Meetup.com is another great resource, as there's a group for just about every interest. If you're not quite ready for an IRL get-together yet, Facebook groups can get the ball rolling online.
When you discover one of your passions, take it seriously-even when it doesn't point to a career.
"Passion is not so much 'what you do,' but how you live," Putz says. "Whether you choose a career, a hobby, or you're just dabbling is up to you."
In fact, research suggests that some careers can be too passion-driven, in a way that isn't sustainable.
Newsonen points to the work of Canadian psychologist Robert J. Vallerand, author of The Psychology of Passion and a leading authority in research on the topic. Vallerand believes there are two core types of passion, harmonious and obsessive, which he classifies as the Dualistic Model of Passion (DMP).
The first kind, harmonious passion, "plays a critical role in sustainable psychological well-being." The stages of harmonious passion fall along the lines of Putz's C.L.E.A.R. Path: Once it's discovered and developed, a harmonious passion can become a healthy part of your identity-it's not one that defines you entirely.
Obsessive passion, on the other hand, can be as toxic as it sounds. When the pursuit of one's passion becomes inseparable from their self esteem and infringes on obligations to friends and family, that's a major red flag.
"If you follow your passion too narrow-mindedly, for example into a career or a competitive sport, you're at risk of developing obsessive passion," Newsonen warns. "This hinders your happiness, because of the all-encompassing pressure it puts on you, and thus holds you back from living your life fully."
Still, what lights you up inside may take your life to surprising places, as Putz points out. "Before you dismiss your passion as frivolous, think about this: Roger and Ebert made a career out of watching movies."
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