Babies Are Hard, So Here Are 17 Borderline Brilliant Tips For New Parents
I am a new parent to a 10-week-old pile of smiley mush. Being a parent is hard, and I'd be lying if I said I haven't read every single forum under the hot sun looking for tips to make it easier. Here are some from parents of Reddit that particularly blew my mind:
1."There’s no extra credit for folding all the crazy amounts of tiny clothing, and 95% of it will look the same if you throw it into a basket or drawer. The rest can be hung up."
2."If the baby is crying for no apparent reason, strip them and give them full body scratchies. You know how much an itch can bother you if you ignore it? Babies don’t have the motor control to scratch their itches, and that shit can hurt after awhile. This message brought to you by a single father of three girls."
3."Onesies can roll down off the body from the shoulders, so if your kid has a blowout you don’t get poo on their head."
4."If possible, and during daylight hours, never change after the first audible poop. Wait five minutes before changing. Nine times out of 10, in the first few months, another one is in the pipe. It saves diapers, but more importantly, prevents a raw baby booty. Though after two months, you’re playing a dangerous blowout game. It's gonna get you regardless."
5."Put things where you use them, not where they look cute. It’s OK if something that would usually go in the kitchen goes in the nursery. The first little bit is tough."
6."As the child gets older, don’t buy cute cartoon Band-Aids. It’s a money pit. Kids love them, and will come to you with imagined injuries, constantly, just to get the bandage. It’s easier to just get regular, boring, beige ones, a pack of cheap stickers, and just decorate the bandage with a sticker. They may ask for more stickers, but those are much cheaper than Band-Aids."
7."Put a new diaper under the old one before you take it off (unless it’s a blowout). If the baby pees while you’re changing them, it goes on the new diaper as opposed to the changing table."
8."Park near the cart return. Not closest to the door."
9."Grab six plastic baggies. In five, put a different-sized outfit for baby (3m, 6m, 9m, 12m, and 18m), and in the last, put a shirt for each parent. Keep these in your car or stroller. This way, if kiddo has a blowout or an accident while in public, you know for sure you have an outfit the right size and a baggie to put the soiled clothes in. So many times I’d have to grab the spare outfit in the diaper bag just to realize the kiddo didn’t fit in them anymore!"
10."Bubbles are magic. Blow them for a baby and watch them be fascinated. I’ve stopped so many tantrums with bubbles. I’ve soothed restless little ones, who get mesmerized by the twinkling shimmering orbs. I’ve made waiting in line easier, stormy nights less scary, and distracted from teething. Get some bubbles."
11."Learn how to make a tight swaddle quickly in the dark. For some kids, tight swaddling is the only way they'll sleep (or at least it may seem that way, haha)."
12."Zipper only PJs. I repeat, ZIPPER ONLY. There is a special place in hell for designers of baby PJs with 24 tiny buttons going up the legs and crotch of a squirmy, screaming tiny human."
13."Find one of your old smartphones. You don’t need a plan for it. Just connect to Wi-Fi. Then use it for all the baby apps: white noise, Wi-Fi baby monitor, age appropriate games, bedtime stories, etc. You still get to use your phone when the baby’s phone is in use."
14."Yoga ball. Works like a charm when bouncing the little one to sleep. Return on investment is not bigger anywhere else in life."
15."Lay the baby on their left side when they’re fussy. It opens up their tract to let the gas escape if they’re gassy. I don’t know why this advice isn’t told to every single new parent; it’s gold. A nurse told me and my husband this when we had our second, and it was a game-changer. We’d lay our baby on his side, and he’d start tooting like crazy within a couple minutes and immediately calmed down."
16."Don’t keep a quiet house. Run the vacuum, keep the TV on at normal volumes, talk on the phone, etc. The kid will learn to fall asleep anywhere. My brother-in-law and his wife insisted on silence when his daughters were sleeping. We didn’t. All three kids are now in college. My nieces had trouble for their first years of college falling asleep in the dorms. Our son can fall asleep whether it is loud or quiet."
17.Finally, "Baby wipes for everything. Wipe up the sink. Clean hands at a picnic. Get gross stuff off the car seat. Mop up barf from the tile floor. Wash your face. Baby wipes. All. Day. Long. By the time they’re 4, your life is just baby wipes all the way down."
If you have a most excellent parenting tip, PLEASE share in the comments below. I love learning them!
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Entries have been edited for length and clarity.
