Paris Hilton Opens Up About Making Racist And Homophobic Comments In Her Youth While Drunk: 'Blacked-Out Idiot'

Paris Hilton‘s tell-all book, Paris: The Memoir hit shelves this month, and the author, 42, is addressing her past racist and homophobic remarks that have sparked controversy. The memoir, which was originally published on March 8, 2023, includes a brief reflection on her past use of slurs.

In the book, the socialite says that this slur usage was due to PTSD she suffered at Provo Canyon School, a psychiatric youth in-patient treatment center that she was sent to as a teenager. During her stay, the Simple Life star alleges that she endured sexual abuse, assault and grooming.

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Paris Hilton’s Memoir: Addressing Past Language And Other Takeaways

In her memoir, Hilton writes, “The N-word. The C-word. The F-word. (Not that F-word, the worse one.) I look back on some of the things I said in the years after I left Provo, in the throes of PTSD, and I’m mortified.” She adds, “I’m grossed out, because that means those creepy people got inside my head. I never really left them behind.”

While the reality star acknowledges that she acquired this vocabulary from staying at the center, she also notes that her drinking played a huge role as well (although she says it is not an “excuse” for the slurs she used).

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“Sometimes I was just wasted and being a f—ing moron,” Hilton explained. “I don’t remember half the stuff people say I said when I was being a blacked-out idiot, but I’m not denying it because coming out of the CDEU system, I had a severely damaged filter— except when I was buzzed and had no filter at all.”

Further reflecting on and detailing her trauma from the center, Hilton pointed out that in those years, she “said the worst things to and about the people I love the most.”

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As reported by Paper Magazine, Hilton’s book hit #1 in Amazon’s Women’s Personal Spiritual Growth category. It also debuted on the New York Times best sellers list. To celebrate the release, Hilton shared several promotional photo collection posts with her 23.1 million Instagram followers.

She captioned a photo of herself holding her memoir, “While it was honestly so hard to write this book and then relive everything again by speaking every word out loud for my audiobook, I’m glad I did it.” She added, “I hope hearing my story, in my own words, and straight from me encourages you all to tell your stories and embrace your highs and lows and your true selves.”

Hilton also noted that she wrote her memoir because “our multitudes and complexities are beautiful,” and she wanted to connect with those who went through similar things. She said that while “reclaiming my narrative and sharing my life story was terrifying,” it ultimately was one of the “most rewarding things I’ve ever done.”