Parents Are Sharing The Most Embarrassing Thing Their Child Has Said Or Done In Public, And I'm Crying That Tiny Humans Act Like This
It's pretty fair to say that with kids, their filter is completely LACKING. They're so honest about their feelings no matter what the fault may be. Which is honestly inspiring and horrifying all at the same time.
So when Reddit user u/janehoffenmueller asked the r/Parenting community, "What is the most embarrassing thing your child has ever done in public?" I knew the responses were going to be equal parts humiliating and absolutely hilarious:
1."My daughter asks every bald man if he is her daddy, even if we are with her daddy."
2."We were in the pet food aisle of a grocery store and talking about how our dog was very old when he died and how our cat was quite old, and we weren’t sure how much longer he would have to live. This older woman was sharing the aisle with us, and my 4-year-old son turned to point at her and said, 'So this lady…' and I had to scoop him up very quickly before he could finish his sentence."
3."We were at my daughter's choir performance, sitting dead center in the front row. Right before the performance starts, as the entire room is dead silent and the choir director is lifting her arms, my 7-year-old rips the LOUDEST fart. Without missing a beat, he yells, 'Mom! Why did you fart?' I wanted to melt into the gym floor. All I could do was stare forward with my cheeks on fire."
4."Recently, we were walking into the store right before a snowstorm, and naturally, there were people hoarding cases of water into their cars like it was about to be the apocalypse. My son (eight years old and loves math) looked at them as we were walking by and was LOUDLY asking why they needed so much water."
"I laughed it off, but this kid did the math of how many bottles were in each pack and how many cases they loaded into their car and was like, 'What are they going to do with 210 bottles of water at one time? They really couldn’t leave any for other people.' He’s not wrong, but shut up!"
5."I took my daughter (I think she was three at the time) into the public restroom with me. She loudly started asking why I have hair on my butt…it wasn’t my butt."
6."An older woman wearing a big, black, cloak-looking jacket with a visible wart on her nose said hi to my daughter at the grocery store when she was almost three. Daughter glared at her and immediately yelled, 'Go away, you're a witch!'"
"She used to be obsessed with Snow White, and honestly, this lady did kind of look like the witch in that movie. As soon as I saw her, I knew what my daughter would be thinking. I was just praying she wouldn't say it. The lady was actually pretty nice about it, but I was so embarrassed lol."
7."We were standing in line to get on a plane, and my oldest (who was three at the time) pointed to the man directly behind us who had a very large stomach and said very loudly, 'He is having a baby!' Luckily, he was such a good sport and was so kind. But I had to explain a couple things to her after that, haha."
8."I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant, and my 6-year-old told a cashier, 'My mom looks fat when she's naked, but when she's wearing clothes, she looks pregnant.' This was literally out of nowhere and unprompted. She's not wrong, so I just thanked her for sharing."
9."We were in a health and beauty shop. There weren't too many customers, and we were talking about our holidays as we were shopping for sun tan lotion. Then, my 5-year-old pipes up with, ‘Remember when they closed the pool at the hotel because you pooped in the pool?’"
"A lady turned and started giggling. I was mortified. The truth is, someone did poop in the pool, and the pool had to be shut for the day to clean it, but I didn’t do it, see it, or have anything to do with it. I didn’t even enter the pool that day."
10."My daughter screamed 'SERIOUSLY?' in church when they made the congregation stand one too many times for her liking. She’s nine."
11."My daughter mooned the grocery store while I was putting our stuff on the counter to be scanned. I have no idea how long she had her pants down, but I heard laughing and turned, and there she was, butt hanging out."
12."I was in the bathroom at the zoo with my then-3-year-old, and she stuck her head under the side of the stall and yelled, 'I peeking!' at the person in the stall next to us."
13."When my daughter was two, we went on a long flight. At one point, a flight attendant was near, and my daughter looked up and said, 'Piece of ass!' The flight attendant gave me (the father) the worst look! I think she assumed that my daughter was repeating something that she had heard me say."
"What I knew, however, was that my daughter had a bit of a funny accent when pronouncing certain words. I explained to the flight attendant, 'She would like a piece of ice. Ice.' I don't think she believed me, but she put some ice in a cup and handed it to my daughter, who happily looked at it and said, 'Ass! Ass!' At that, the flight attendant started laughing and forgave me."
14."When my son was around five or six, I told him while grocery shopping that we were visiting my mother-in-law for Thanksgiving that year because I couldn’t take the time to cook a lot of food at once (I was finishing a college degree and working)."
"As we were leaving, I stopped to grab a drink at a serving counter, and he proceeded to tell the barista, 'We’re going to my Nana’s for Thanksgiving because my mom can’t afford to cook dinner now!' I didn’t shop there again for at least a month. Absolutely mortified."
15."After my daughter was potty trained, she liked the freedom of not having a diaper. One day, our daycare teacher called to see when I was coming to pick up my daughter because she was going to stay past her shift to talk to me about something. Naturally, I worried until I arrived at daycare."
"Earlier in the day, my sweet cherub had grabbed herself (Michael Jackson style) and said, 'I have a ‘gina' then pointed directly to her teacher’s crotch and said, 'And you do too.' She then went around informing the other teachers that they too had 'a ‘gina.' Everyone had a good laugh that day. I was embarrassed but just shrugged and said, 'Well, she’s not wrong.'"
16."In 2020, when I had to bring my 2-year-old daughter to the store with me, she would see everyone with a mask on and start fake coughing loudly. She associated masks with doctors and being sick, I guess. It was cringe-worthy, and I had to rush out of the store because I couldn’t get her to stop. Everyone would give us nasty looks. The store finally offered pick-up orders, so we avoided the store for a long time."
And finally, the OP decided to share their own story about their kid, and all I can say is that nothing is funnier than a kid who's unable to pronounce the most important letters of a word:
17."When my daughter was a bit younger, we were at an antique market, and we walked past a group of old grandfather clocks. My daughter proceeds to start yelling, 'WOW! BIG COCKS! BIIIIIG COCKS! NICE COCKS!' Lots of people laughed, but I still died of embarrassment."
Has your child ever said or done something wildly embarrassing in public? Let me know in the comments!
Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
