Should Parents Pay Babysitters Extra For Unforeseen Circumstances?

A teen on Reddit wondered if she was in the wrong for asking for more money after the parent stayed out hours past their expected return.

Here’s the thing they never tell you about your teenager starting to babysit: It’s a huge commitment for their parents as well! Case in point: My daughter babysat for a mom who returned home hours later than she’d promised—on a school night. Not only was my teen exhausted the next day, but guess what? So was I, because I waited up for her well past midnight.

I share this anecdote since it leads me to my main point: When your teen babysits, you want to make sure they are compensated properly, not only for their own sake but so you’re not walking around like a zombie following a job that didn’t go according to plan.

In the situation where my daughter was explicitly told one time but got stuck at the house hours longer, unfortunately, she was not offered any additional compensation beyond what was initially communicated. So of course, a thread in Reddit’s popular AITA group caught my eye, because, in it, a teen describes also being taken advantage of by a family who asked more of them than they bargained for, without offering enough in return.

The teen recounts while watching two kids in the neighborhood, their mom, who previously agreed to tip the sitter $10 for “crisis pay” if they had to use an emergency contact, “stayed out an hour and a half past her specified return time.” She also wasn’t answering calls or texts. That's when the sitter called one of the mom’s emergency contacts, her sister, who came over so the teen could go home.

Related: The Differences Between a Nanny and Babysitter

The next day, the mom, who as it turned out got lost in an area will no cell reception, came over to pay the teen, and didn’t include the agreed-upon $10, saying instead, “A kid like you doesn’t need that much money for five and a half hours of screwing around on your phone.” The next time the mom asked the teen to sit, the teen first asked for her $10, but the mom refused. The mom instead insisted the previous situation was not a real crisis, and ultimately, said she’d be finding a new babysitter.

Look, I get the other side of things, because I’m a parent to younger kids, too. It is shocking how much teen sitters expect to make these days when I think back to how little I earned as a sitter a million years ago, A.K.A. in the 1990s. But here’s where I get mad about on behalf of babysitters: When the terms change mid-job, so too should the compensation.

It goes without saying that the best way to ensure that as a babysitter you get paid fairly for your time and efforts is to pre-negotiate all terms with parents. So that means talking about your rate, and having a discussion about extenuating circumstances, such as lateness or if a child requires medical attention—although admittedly, talking to an adult about these topics can feel intimidating.

Related: Reddit Dad Insists Babysitter Cover Costs of $2K Guitar His Child Broke

To get more color on what’s fair, and tips for how a teen can breach these difficult topics, I turned to Kellee Mikuls, the CEO and founder of Swishboom, an online service that helps parents find verified sitters in their area.

Respecting a babysitter’s time and effort is something that isn’t negotiable. Mikuls says not only should a parent pay 10-15% of the total job amount for being late, but parents should “Be sure to also ensure that you acknowledge the fee to the sitter and include an apology for the slip-up.” Say “thank you” if the sitter has to contend with an emergency—and tip them as much as 20%, she suggests.

Meanwhile, Mikuls tells Parents the sitter should be vocal about how taking a job impacts their life. “If you are giving up a party or evening with your family to help them out, make sure to take that into consideration when quoting them your hourly rate,” she advises babysitters.

Mikuls underscores the best way for a babysitting job to go smoothly is to tackle tough topics before a job. For parents, that might mean being upfront about the possibility you’ll run late that evening. For sitters, if you have plans after a job, don’t be afraid to speak up and let the parents know that you have a “hard out.”

As for the sitter who never got that $10, perhaps the takeaway is that standing your ground is admirable, and may serve to weed out the situations that either work well for both parties—or don’t. As for my daughter—who was too timid to ask for a tip, but definitely learned that speaking up for herself in the future is important—she hasn’t been asked back to babysit for the mom who came home late—and like the Redditor, is totally “fine” with that. Um, so am I.

Related: Are Parents Really Stealing Babysitters From Each Other?

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Read the original article on Parents.