Parents Are Confessing The Brutally Real Reasons They Are Done Having Kids, And Their Stories Are So Deeply Honest
Not too long ago, we shared a post in which parents told us the brutally real moment they decided they were done having kids. Their stories were so deeply honest that readers in the BuzzFeed Community chimed in to share their own reasons for not wanting any more kids, and they were just as real.
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Here are some of their responses, along with the most memorable responses from the original post:
1."I wanted a big family, but I lost so much of who I was when I had my child. My family has been asking for another one ever since I had her, and I kept trying to tell myself I would have another — I just wasn't ready yet. Then I put it off for so long that my daughter has started school, and I finally feel like myself for the first time in years. The thought of starting over with another baby now makes me feel suffocated."
USA
2."I knew I was done when I realized I'm 30 and have never had the freedom to just be an adult — to go out, spend a whole day relaxing, and travel. If I had any more kids, I wouldn't have that freedom for another 10 or 20 years!"
3."My son came out after a day and a half of labor, and by the time they finished the 21 stitches and handed him back to me, I didn't want him anymore. It developed into postpartum depression, AND he had colic. I had wanted him so badly, and he's the light of my life now, but from the moment he was born until he was 5 months old was the worst time of my life. I knew then that I was done."
"I went through the same thing. The timing of my pregnancy wasn’t great, and before I got pregnant I was already on the path to deciding I didn’t want to have a kid at all. Once I had my son, I hated that I was ‘stuck’ taking care of him while my husband still got to go to work every day.
I did find a sitter who would watch my son part time in her home so I could return to work before my leave was up, and I made an effort to get out of the house on my own, too. That helped a bit, but I eventually had to get some help and some meds because my postpartum depression and resulting anxiety were so bad. Time also helped, though, because as my son became more self-sufficient it meant that he wasn’t literally on me all day, and I could begin to find myself again. That really helped me get some perspective and accept this new role in my life. It took a couple of years, but we got there!"
TLC
4."I don't want another kid because they're expensive, you barely get one-on-one time with one child, quality time with my husband is important to me, and I want to travel and take my daughter to amazing places we couldn't afford with two kids. Don't pity a parent who is done having kids — celebrate them for making a mature decision that isn't pushed on them by nagging families."
5."I didn't realize I was done until we were trying for a second baby, the pregnancy test came back negative, and I was so damn happy. I figured that wasn't really the appropriate response if I was serious about a second kid."
BBC America
6."My daughter will be 2 next month, and I don't plan on having more kids. Everyone says I'll change my mind, but what they don't know is that I've been miserable for her whole life. I never felt joy when I saw her on ultrasounds, and within a day of her being born, I was already being referred to psych to be evaluated for postpartum depression. I've never felt the bond with her that I'm supposed to feel. So I don't want more kids because I know in my heart that I shouldn't have had one to begin with."
7."During my first pregnancy, I was on crutches, had gestational diabetes and hyperemesis gravidarum the whole way through, and it was nine months of torture. After the birth, I had a blood clot due to my lack of mobility during childbirth, then two years later, my gallbladder gave up, causing my liver to begin to fail, which was also due to my pregnancy. We do want another kid, but I'm way too scared to do it again — and while adoption would be an option, I don't live in the USA. Here, we don't adopt the child before they are born, and I'm not sure we would be able to support an older child with the extra emotional needs they will have. Even younger adopted children can still have significant emotional needs, and you have to be emotionally strong to support them."
"I also had a horrible pregnancy with my son, and he has health issues that are so much better now that he’s 10. People say every pregnancy is different, and that may be true for some, but if a traumatic pregnancy or birth makes it so a woman doesn’t want to have any more kids, it’s her choice."
Amazon Prime
8."We knew right away we wouldn't have more. I got pregnant with twins the second month we tried, and the day before we found out I was pregnant, one of my best friends had a stillbirth. My pregnancy was full of complications and was extremely stressful and scary. I was sick all the time, and I hated being pregnant. But meanwhile, my friend could barely speak to me because of everything she had been through, and I was terrified I would endure the same thing. We haven't spoken in over two years now because it was just too hard for both of us. I think about her every day, and I hope she's doing OK, but it was just too hard for her to be around me, and I never knew what to say or do around her. Then, when my girls were 6 months old, another friend of mine lost her 3-month-old due to heart complications. Several other friends have had miscarriages and all of the complications that can happy terrify me now..."
"We recognized just how unbelievable lucky we were, while my friends weren't. It seemed so unfair that we got two healthy babies when friends lost theirs. We don't want to risk it again. Not to mention, our house is too small, our budget is too small, I have no sick days built up to take any maternity leave, and I’m busy enough as it is. I can’t imagine adding another person to the mix. We feel complete where we’re at."
9."We were always 'one and done' from the beginning of our relationship. We have career goals, we want to travel, we want to give our kid great experiences, and we want to be selfish. We wouldn't be able to do those things with more than one child."
"We feel complete with our daughter, and with knowing we can give her everything we want to while still maintaining the lives we've become accustomed to."
ABC
10."I knew I was finished at one child when I cried in the hospital, wondering what in the hell I had just done! No sooner than I got her home from the hospital that people started asking when I was having another, and my answer was — and always will be — 'NEVER!'"
11."I always wanted four kids. Then we had twins. I knew I was done forever when they realized they could remove their diapers and 'paint' each other with their poop. I dry-heaved through their bath and swore never again."
NBC
12."I decided not to have any more kids when my youngest child was 4 hours old and after a painful labor, my husband said, 'I love you, but I can't watch you do that again.' During my labor, the doctor had me push too soon, and my son has a permanent lump on his head as a result. That's nothing compared to what some parents have been through, but it's enough to make us decide we were good with two."
13."I knew I wouldn't have any more when my friend brought her newborn to a Christmas party, and neither me nor my hubby had any desire to hold her."
—Jennifer Castillo, Facebook
CBC
14."When my marriage almost didn't make it through our first pregnancy, we decided one was enough."
15."I hated pregnancy immensely. I hated how I looked, felt like shit, and never got that 'glow' so many women talk about. So I busted out two kids, and that was it."
Paramount
16."I knew the day I brought my first baby home and realized I didn't take joy in motherhood like I felt other moms did."
17."I decided I didn't want any more kids during labor with my second child. My labor was horrific, and I knew my mental health could not take another pregnancy. Plus, I've had so much surgery down there that it's best I don't ever do it again. After two C-sections and three other surgeries down there, I'm in bits!"
Starz
18."I knew I wouldn't have any more kids when I was having my vagina and perineum repaired with over 100 stitches after birthing an 11-pound baby WHO GOT STUCK."
"She's 10 years old now, and shit still ain't right with my delicate area."
19."I knew I was done when both of my kids finally learned to buckle their own seat belts, and I realized we could leave the house like normal human beings again."
NBC
20."When we were on an airplane with our two kids and I imagined trying to do the trip with a whole other human. It was so overwhelming that I told my husband to get a vasectomy consult as soon as possible."
21."I knew I was done when I was at the store and saw a mom with two toddlers in her shopping cart fighting over who was touching who. No thanks!"
Netflix
22."I decided I was done when I cried on the toilet from painful hemorrhoids while taking my first post-childbirth poop."
—Jessica Allen, Facebook
23."I always pictured myself having three kids, but then I had my daughter and immediately felt so complete. My husband, daughter, and I are so happy that I don't see us changing a thing."
Amazon Prime
24."I knew I was done when my 9-pound third baby came 'too fast' for an epidural."
—Kristen Morrow, Facebook
25."I had a traumatic birth experience with our second child and almost had a heart attack afterward. I knew we were done when my husband looked at me and said, 'Having another baby is not worth the possibility of losing you.'"
Fox
26."When I found out we were pregnant with our third boy and panicked about being outnumbered by penis in my own home."
27."I knew when I was 36 hours into labor with my first. Three years later and I haven't changed my mind."
And finally:
28."I knew I wasn't having any more kids when my bank account told me."
NBC
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Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
