Get Paid $15,000 to Drink Water as a 'Chief Thirst Officer'

Mike Pomranz
·2 min read

When a marketing concept works for one brand, others tend to take that idea and run with it. Look no further than the fact that every company now has a merch store and a chicken sandwich. The same goes for cushy "jobs" that skew closer to a PR stunt than steady employment: Red Lobster seeking a "Chief Biscuit Officer" or an oven company paying someone to taste pizzas. Inevitably, one-upmanship pushes these things to an apex -- and with the "dream job" thing, we may have finally gotten there: A company specializing in hydration wants to hire someone to… drink water.

person drinking Hydrant
person drinking Hydrant

Courtesy of Hydrant

Hydrant -- which bills itself as "Where water meets wellness" by selling drink mixes to give water an extra kick -- is launching an online competition to name a "Chief Thirst Officer" who will receive an eight-week contract to "document the power of being hydrated." The gig will pay $15,000 (or the 52-week equivalent of $97,500 per year) and, despite the jokes to the contrary, will require more work than just drinking water.

According to the official job description listed on Hydrant's landing page for the contest, "If hired, you will be required to create a minimum of 3 videos per week to be posted to Instagram and TikTok." And, yes, as mentioned before, you will be expected to "Drink water, lots of it."

person drinking Hydrant
person drinking Hydrant

Courtesy of Hydrant

"You can't scroll through your stories some days without seeing a dehydration meme, so we're looking to combat that," John Sherwin, co-founder of Hydrant, told us via email. "We'll be on the lookout for someone with a ton of creativity to showcase how good being hydrated feels -- especially when it's not as much of a chore to get there. The winner will be working with us at Hydrant to create content, but we hope it can be a fun side hustle in the process."

To apply, well, same thing as the job really: Starting on June 23, Hydrant says post a video (minimum 15 seconds) to your public Instagram or TikTok account tagging both @drinkhydrant and #HydrantCTO. The company says be creative, but if you need inspiration, try something like "Tell us why you're thirsty; Show how us how thirsty you are; Tell us what your first move as our Chief Thirst Officer would be; [or] Show us the most creative way to drink a Hydrant."

Hydrant says the winner will be selected based on creativity, engagement and "how thirsty you are to win." This champion of thirst will be announced next month. You can find all the details here.