Outlander Just Gave Us Its Hottest Sex Scene Yet
Excuse me if I'm not quite coherent after the most recent episode of Outlander. CLAIRE AND JAMIE! JAMIE AND CLAIRE! Back together again like two peas in a pod (if those peas were in love with each other, which is a pretty weird image, I guess).
Here are all thoughts we had during this extra-long, extra-sexxxxxy, extra-romance episode of Outlander. Give Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe a Sex Emmy!
1. I do not care for this French hussy Madame Jeanne, who is adjusting Jamie's necktie and making very big eyes at him.
2. But I am into this Tricorn Hat Jamie situation.
3. Surely Jamie wearing glasses and poring over print proofs is just a ploy to make us bookish girls happy. Well, it worked.
4. "I thought I'd gone and pissed meself." JAMIE. You could have tried a little bit harder to say something romantic.
5. "I would...very much like to kiss you. May I?" YES, JAMIE, YOU BIG SCOTTISH FOOL. I mean, our lives only depend on it, no big deal.
6. "When it comes to orgies in the shop, it's gone too far." Geordie...I don't think you'll like this show very much.
7. "Come wi' me...if you do not think it immoral." LOL JAMIE EVEN IF IT WAS WE TOTALLY WOULD.
8. "It's very fine to see you again, Claire." I guess Jamie's trying to win the Understatement Olympics.
9. On a more serious note, this is definitely an older, more circumspect Jamie we're seeing here. He's not a bonny lad anymore, even though he is the bonniest of Jamies that the world and history have ever seen.
10. When Jamie's embarrassed because he needs glasses. CRYING EMOJI.
11. Things Jamie Has Learned About the Future #1: Photographs are the devil's magic and probably the only reason he can tolerate them is because Brianna is in them.
12. Things Jamie Has Learned About the Future #2: Bikinis are also the devil, but, again, Brianna.
13. "You look as dashing as ever." Now Claire wants to get in on the understatement game.
14. "Time doesn't matter, Sassenach." Cool, I guess I made it 20 minutes into this episode before I started crying.
15. Look, I know Jamie's supposed to be embracing his dad-ness, but with all his "Splits wood, does she?" and "Don't tell me she does swimming in that rigging," he really seems more like a...grandpa?
16. Excuse me, but why didn't we ever get to see Smoky? That is one cute, giant, shaggy, wonderful, good dog.
17. Of course Fergus thinks he's handsome. Luckily, he really is adorable.
18. "I've burned for you so long, do you not know that?" Please pause while I rewind. Sorry, just need to watch it again. One more time. You know what? I'm going to be here a while.
19. LOL at Claire and Jamie "reminiscing" over dinner. "Remember how we killed your uncle that one time?" "OMG yes what a riot! What about that deadly rebellion that killed basically all our friends and family?" "Hahahahahaha, can I have a grape please."
20. "Will you come to bed with me, then?" On the one hand, this is a very gruffly sexy and sweet thing to say. On the other hand, duh. And, also, I am a bit concerned that they're doing to bone right after a huge meal. That's a recipe for a stomachache, I would have thought.
21. Loved witnessing the moment when Jamie Fraser became a lifelong fan of zippers.
22. Loved witnessing the moment when Claire saw Jamie's abs and was like, "Yep, definitely worth coming back through time for this."
23. Okay, honestly this undressing thing is taking a wee bit too long. SURELY I'm not the only person who thinks that.
24. LOVED the moment when they bonked heads instead of naughties. Outlander, you cheeky thing. But seriously, this reunion scene has got to be the hottest sex scene ever in the show - and there have been a lot. They've both gone through so much to get here, they both want it so badly, and they both are so scared. It's not the most straightforward reunion ever, but it's also so nice to see them meet each other where they are.
25. "Do it now. And don't be gentle." Claire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MINX.
26. Things Jamie Has Learned About the Future #3: Bicycles are a thing? Although, technically he still doesn't know what they are.
27. Why is Madame Jeanne so annoyed that Claire is sitting with some of the girls? It can't just be because she's annoyed that she didn't get her breakfast in time.
28. Oh, no. A scary man with no hair is rifling through Jamie's things, and he is being very nasty to Claire. Well, I guess we knew there was no way this lovely sex cocoon Jamie and Claire were in was going to last. Will Jamie get back in time to save his wife? Probably. But HURRY UP, JAMIE!!!!!
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